How to Help the Homeless

Why not? Won't cash help them get some food or new clothes? It could, but the sad reality is that the majority of homeless people spend their money on drugs and alcohol before they buy them selves food or clothing. This isn't a stereotype, its fact. Depending on which study you're looking at, anywhere from 60-75% of the homeless use drugs and/or alcohol. And in this day and age, you know as well as I do that these addictions dominate people's lives. These diseases take over and become the number one goal in a person's life. Add depression, misery, fear, all manner of mental illness to the mix (largely caused by becoming or being homeless), and you've got a person that isn't thinking about the most rational thing to do with your cash hand-out.

That's not to say all homeless people are drunks and junkies, it just means that handing out change doesn't really help the homeless person. It makes us feel better because it's easy and fast, but isn't the goal to help the homeless person for the long-term? Of course it is. Cash hand-outs (in general) simply don't help most people out. There are a few exceptions of course. There are homeless people out there really just trying to get ahead in life. They're collecting cans and offering to do real work. It's hard to make that judgment on a person you just see for a split second, so my general rule is not to give money, but to give something else:

There was one homeless lady who stood out in front of my local grocery store almost every night asking for change. When she started asking me, I said I don't hand out cash, but I'd buy her something inside to eat if she wanted it. She gratefully took me up on the offer and from that day on, I would try to have something for her on my way out of the grocery store. I didn't always buy her something. Sometimes I gave her a buck when I was in a hurry even though it went against my own advice. Sometimes I was strapped for cash myself, so I would apologize for not having any thing to give her and I would stand and talk to her for a few minutes. Sometimes I think simply talking to someone is just as valuable as cash or food:

As I'm sure you're well aware, not all homeless people are created equal. They range from young to old, men to women, families to singles, mean to nice, sober to drunk, and sane to insane. But the one thing they have in common is they're still human. And just like any of us, they want to be recognized and acknowledged just like everyone else. How would you feel if everyone ignored you for the rest of your life? Or if everyone looked on you with disgust? Wouldn't you feel worthless? Wouldn't you turn to drugs and alcohol for comfort? Wouldn't you go insane as well?

If I don't have cash, or I'm in a hurry, I try to at least acknowledge the homeless person camped out in a doorway. Simple eye-contact, or a nod, or a smile, or a simple "hello" helps. If anything, it gives the person some semblance of humanity; a feeling of still being part of society. A "hello" or a nod may not seem like much, but haven't you been down in the dumps when someone gave you a smile or a nod? Didn't that change your attitude for the better? At least for a little while? I know it does for me.

Some homeless people just want to talk to someone. If you've got the time, take a few minutes and just chat about anything ordinary with them. They may talk about their homelessness, but if they don't bring it up, perhaps you shouldn't either. Aren't they acutely aware of that fact every day? Maybe they just want to talk about the weather like everybody else does. Again, I think that any semblance of normalcy can be very positive for both the homeless and the homefull (not sure if that's a word...well it is now!). Normalcy gives the homeless hope for a brighter tomorrow, and it gives the homefull the realization that these are regular people inside just like you or me.

Find out where your local homeless services are, then kindly encourage them to check it out. The reality is, almost every homeless person knows exactly where every shelter, every soup-kitchen, every thrift store is. They know it better than you. So why are they out on the streets instead of in these facilities? There are lots of reasons ranging from lack of safety, to feelings of shame, to simple independence. Nobody likes to live in a crummy shelter that tells you where to sleep and what to do. Remember, the homeless are independent people just like us. The streets may be rough, but it's still some semblance of independence. But most importantly, when you make the effort to point them towards a local shelter, it gives the homeless person that little nudge that you and I take for granted. It may give them the encouragement needed to move forward -- even if it's just a baby step:

Most homefull people completely understand the importance of self-motivation in life. We understand that we need to wake ourselves up in the morning, get dressed, and go to work. We've got bills to pay, a social life to maintain. All this requires a basic level of motivation that we've learned over the years. The fact of the matter is, many homeless people have lost this simple motivation or self-encouragement. They've fallen so far below the ranks of society that simple tasks like getting up in the morning to maintain a job is so far above them, that it seems impossible to attain. When talking to a homeless person in any regard, don't expect them to turn their life around simply because you said hi, or bought them a meal. It's only a small stepping stone of encouragement, but it's an important one.

Think of this from the homeless person's perspective: here we are walking around in nice clothes, money in our pocket, a car in the garage, a nice place to sleep at night. These seem like the essentials to us, but to the homeless, these are far-flung luxuries that are unattainable. If someone told us to go to the Moon, most of us wouldn't even know where to start. We wouldn't know who to talk to, what to do first, or where to go. It would seem like an impossible dream...but it can be done. This is the perspective of the homeless person. Telling them to just get a job or go to rehab is like telling them to go to the Moon. It's so far beyond their scope of reality. It's so far beyond their reach, why even try? And when they've failed so many times before in life, the bottom of the ladder becomes comfortable. Shooting for the stars only brings more failure and more misery. Who needs that?

"McDonald's is hiring. I have to get up and go to work. Why should I give you anything? I've had to work hard all my life for what I have. What have you done?" I'm sure you've heard all this before. Why don't the homeless simply go to McDonalds and fill out an application? Surely McDonalds will hire them. They hire anybody, right? Again, we take for granted the multitude of factors that have naturally come together which enable us to go to work every day.

First you need a place to live. Sounds obvious right? But people usually don't consider what a stable home (or apartment) really gives you. It gives you a place to sleep safely and without the stress of fear every night. It gives you a place to shave and shower before work each day. It gives you a place to launder your clothes (if you have a laundry machine). It gives you a place to hang your clean clothes for the next day. It gives you a place to store and eat your food. And equally important, a home gives you an address! You need something to fill out on your I-9 and W-4 forms for your paycheck when you're hired. So, as you can see, without a home first, a job is pretty hard to come by. And isn't not having a home the problem to begin with? So, we're back to square one. The homeless are acutely aware of this chicken and egg situation. Just "getting a job" isn't going to solve their problems. What will help, is small, incremental steps that a homeless person can attain with confidence.

The fact is, some homeless people are dangerous. That's not another stereotype, it's just the way it is. I briefly worked with the Salvation Army's Homeless Outreach to Place and Empower program (HOPE). For about 4 months, for a few hours a day, 3 days a week, I would go out with a driver in a van and hand out small meals, toiletries, and stuff like that to the homeless. Most of the time, we were greeted with open arms, but occasionally, some of the homeless didn't want to be bothered. Case in point: we came across a man lying on the park grass. He had a large folding knife stuck in the ground next to him. We approached cautiously and announced ourselves. He then grabbed the knife as if to say "back off - I mean it." We didn't press our luck. We weren't out there to be heroes or force anything on anyone. He didn't want anything to do with us, so we didn't argue. Our safety was more important than him getting a snack.

The point is, always proceed with caution when approaching a homeless person. You don't know what they're on (if anything) or what kind of mental illness they may have. Keep your distance at all times. Don't feel guilty that you don't give them a hand-shake and a hug. I never do. You're survival comes first. Even when you're trying to do something nice for someone, they may not want something nice done for them. Don't take offense, just try to understand what it must be like to be in their situation: they probably have little safety on the streets, and who knows what kind of state their mind is in. You'd probably be a mess too.

If you do encounter someone who seems very unstable and erratic, give them a wide berth and don't speak or make eye contact with them, especially if it looks like they can move fast. I know, it's sad to see people in this state of being, but you really need to leave these people to the professionals. Homeless with serious, obvious mental illness don't respond to common courtesy like others do. Their minds process social interaction very differently and they need to be handled by professionals only. They can act irrationally and be very dangerous. It's not worth it. Save your charity for the next guy and wish the dangerous man good luck. He's gonna need it.

I don't pretend to know all the answers, and I certainly fail to exercise all of these recommendations all the time. I'm just like anyone else: I'm in a hurry, I'm broke, I'm in a bad mood myself. But I think these recommendations can help the homeless at the micro-level: by baby steps. Will these actions solve the problem? Probably not. Will they help? I think they might. Try it out. Pass is on. Tell me what you think.

All I know is, I'm tired of seeing the homeless on the street. I'm angry and saddened about it at the same time. I want to do something, but despite the efforts of many organizations, the problem persists. Could we, or should we attack the homeless problem at the root? Probably. But that's another topic all together. Whatever the case may be, I can see no fault in simple acts of compassion. Good luck, and be safe.