Anger Management Tips
Learning to manage anger is not difficult. The trick is to narrow in on the underlying cause of anger. One major cause of anger in individuals is a lack of self-esteem.
At first glance, self esteem and anger seem to be completely separate and unrelated topics, like how an apple is to a window. However, deep down, the two are more related than you can imagine.
That is, your self esteem has a direct influence on your anger. A poor self esteem leads a person to higher levels of anger and rage, while a high self esteem allows a person to be more happy and content.
There are several reasons why this is.
- A person with low self-esteem is more likely be unhappy with him or herself. In fact, they probably see themselves as ugly and weak. When someone allows such negative emotions to build up, the emotions can turn into anger that is then direct not only towards themselves but also towards others.
- Additionally, when a person has low self-esteem, they are less satisfied with their life. When a person is discontent, they usually blame themselves or others for their dissatisfaction. This causes them to hate themselves or to hate others. One of the ways hate gets expressed is through anger, causing a person who has hate to be a more angry person.
Therefore, if you are becoming a more and more angry and are having a hard time controlling it, then you might want to try raising your self esteem. It is one of the best anger management tips to help people deal with unresolved anger.
That's because when your self-esteem is raised, you respect yourself. When you respect yourself, you respect others. By respecting yourself and others, you keep negative emotions from building up that can manifest into anger. More or less, you are not just managing anger, you are preventing it from ever arising.
So how can you raise your self-esteem, and in the process, manage your anger better? Well, there are many things you can do to raise your self esteem, we've listed some suggestions below.
1. Focus on your strengths. This is usually difficult for people who have low self esteem. To help you out, think of things you've done or situations you've been in that were difficult for others, but were easy for you. Use these as examples of your strengths and always keep them in mind. If you notice angry feelings surfacing as a result of negative thoughts, look at your strengths to give your esteem a boost.
2. Create of list of things that you like about yourself. Write a list of all your traits and characteristics that you enjoy about yourself. And whenever you find yourself becoming destructive and overly critical, look at this list and allow the things you've written down to make you feel better. This list of things that you like about yourself are a source of power that can enhance your self esteem - use them whenever you feel bad and about to get angry at yourself.
3. Leave past mistakes and failures behind. People with low self-esteem usually relive their past failures, which constantly resonates inside their heads reminding them that they are not good enough. Sometimes things just go wrong, no matter how hard you try. To err is human, nobody is perfect. When you've failed on something, think about where you went wrong, learn from the experience, and move on. Success will eventually come, and when it does, it will build your self esteem even further.
These are just some of the tips you can use to raise your self esteem, and consequently, control your anger. Now there are a lot of anger management tips available, but this one not only teaches you how to handle anger, but it also raises your self esteem to make you feel better about yourself too.
Is Managing Anger Becoming to Much to Handle?
If so, you may have a more serious disorder. It may be something called "anger attacks," which is similar to panic attacks. Or you may have Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). To learn more, check out the anger management tips
Cause of Anger
What is Anger
How can you recognize someone who is angry
Less noticeable, but still obvious signs of anger show up in a person's personality. Where they act selfish, have a grandiose demeanor, display poor sportsmanship, or they constantly avoid responsibility and shift blame onto others. Since none of these signs directly suggest anger issues in a person, they are often overlooked as as possible anger issues in a person.
Books on Anger Management Techniques from Amazon.com
The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
If you struggle with anger, this book has answers, August 6, 2008.
By Jennifer Smith
I thought the Anger Trap was very insightful and as I read through it I recognized my typical anger-generating habits of thinking. I also learned ways to retrain my thinking - slowly but surely - in order the respond to things less emotionally. I also learned that when I am "angry" I am probably really something else - disappointed, afraid, frustrated, feeling rejected or dismissed. When I start to get mad now I pause and ask myself, "what is really going on here?" and that alone has enabled me to explore other sides to my personality that I have tried to ignore for the last 30 yrs. I can get through situations that used to make me blow my top as a sane, calm person now. It helps to dialogue with myself (silently, of course, lest they get the net!) by using techniques from the book.
My only beef with the premise (it's always something...) is that the author goes with the idea that anger comes from past problems. Grow up with a dad who yells or hits and you'll yell or hit. However, there are many studies that show that a violent home does not necessarily beget a violent child, a calm home does not beget a calm child. Just as anxiety can run in families or depression, might not problems such as overreaction to stimulus? If the dad is a yeller, perhaps it is his genes that pass on the anger and not his yelling. Otherwise, why don't all people from certain types of parents exhibit the behavior? I bring this up, because it is easier to face the problem sometimes when there is no one to blame (except perhaps God, if you lean that way). Rather than bemoan the mess a parent has made of one, it might be better to treat it as a limp that runs in the family but was not bequeathed with any malice. You have the limp, now figure out how to walk with it. You have the temper, now figure out how to respond to life as a decent human being with it.
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- SLJunky SLJunky Mar 15, 2009 @ 11:27 am
- I don't know I think we all have a certain degree of control over how and what we feel, and I think that applies to anger as well. If you think you don't know how to handle anger, and you managing anger will be difficult. If you believe you can handle anger, and managing anger will be easier...all in all, it's in your mind set.
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- nestlee nestlee Feb 16, 2009 @ 11:44 am
- getting high of your own brain chemicals, what other brain chemicals can your brain get high on...happiness? grieve? It's that why some people can never get out of a bad relationship or situation...cause they need that so called high?
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- cloverfield56 cloverfield56 Feb 15, 2009 @ 12:43 pm
- probably you are just addicted to the feeling of anger, like your body gets addicted to drugs, it can get addicted to anger. I forgot who said this but its like getting high off of your own brain checmicals.
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- clonafun clonafun Feb 14, 2009 @ 9:22 am
- sometimes I feel as though I don't restrain anger, it restrains me. could it be something more serious like anger attacks? anyone have any ideas?
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- John Scornberg John Scornberg Feb 13, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
- Great lens, very informative; didn't realize one's self esteem has such an affect on their anger. Prolly an area i need to work as far as managing anger better.
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- Jeff Shiffle Jeff Shiffle Feb 13, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
- good article, never realized that self esteem had such an effect on anger, although it makes sense.
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Please leave tips, advice, or comments about on managing anger and what things you have done at successfully controlling anger.
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- framany framany Feb 19, 2009 @ 7:15 pm
- I like using meditation in managing anger
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- dohnson50 dohnson50 Feb 17, 2009 @ 11:06 am
- What works for me is to say f*ck it, life is to short to be angry.
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- Leslie L. Leslie L. Feb 13, 2009 @ 4:41 pm
- Hi, I love your article. One of the anger management techniques I've used are affirmations. Every time I'm about to get angry, I affirm statements like, I am a peaceful person. I am calm and relaxed. I am in control of myself and my emotions.
It doesn't make the angry feelings magically disappear, but it does interrupt the pattern and keeps me from blowing my top.
Hope this helps, try it out.







