Home » Entertainment

KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS

Ranked #19,101 in Entertainment, #232,070 overall | Donates to Squidoo Charity Fund, Operation Helmet

The Funny Things Kids Say... Ya Gotta Love 'Em

As the song says, Kids Say The Darndest Things!
And this lense is devoted to the funny things that kids say.
Out of the mouths of babes are some of the truest words ever spoken!
I hope you can relate to some of the things that you'll read on here and be sure to leave your own funny stuff in my comments! If you know of something good to add to this page, let me know!

The Latest Addition To The Family 

A Break From the Kitchen

Or What Happens When You Ask Your Daughter To Cook

On Friday nights, it's customary for my daughter (she's 10) and I to pile up in my king sized bed and watch movies. Kind of like a weekend pajama party.
Well, on Saturday morning as we are laying there wondering who is going to get up first, Melody tells me that's she's hungry (what's new?) and that she hopes that I'll fix pancakes.

I am so toasty and warm that I don't even want to think about getting up, let alone get up and cook, so I ask her, "When are YOU going to get up and fix ME pancakes?" (thought I could turn it around on her... alas, I was wrong.)
She replies back with " Mooooom. I'm TEEEEEENNN. I can't cook!"
I assure her that she can. I reminded her of flipping the pancakes last Saturday morning.

She ponders that for a moment and then lays back and snuggles against me and says, (in her best whiny, pleading voice), "But I don't know how to mix it up. All I know is egg, and milk and pancake stuff."
I told her "That's all you need!"
She says, "But how much of the pancake STUFF do I use?"

At this point, I'm thinking I have HER talked into making the pancakes, so as I am turning over onto my side (to get really comfortable) I say, "All you need is a cupful."
Next thing I know I get a slap across my rear and a VERY loud reprimand from Melody saying:

"MOM! DON'T CALL ME A FOOL! IT'S NOT VERY NICE!"

Funny Kids Videos

Some of the funniest videos I've seen.
Loading
Child's Perspective on Retirement
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:

"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.

"They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.

They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.

At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.

My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it potluck.

My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren."

MAKE MONEY WITH YOUR WEB PAGES!


Put your content on Redgage and they will pay you each time someone clicks on your page! Click the box and join me there!

Bookmark This Lens

If you enjoyed reading this lens, then why not share it with your friends.

Add this to your lens »

Bookmark and Share

Love Kid's Humor?

If you would like to rate this lens,
then you can do so here (Squidoo members only).
Not a member? Sign up!

SquiDirectory - Visit the SquiDirectory Squidoo directory, and find something interesting to read about!




The Laugh Away group at Squidoo is home to the funniest lenses - click on the laughing manThe Laugh Away group at Squidoo is home to the funniest lenses - click on the laughing man to start yourself laughing. This group is for all lenses related to Humor, Jokes, Funny Pictures, Funny Videos, Amusing Stories etc.


This module only appears with actual data when viewed on a live lens. The favorite and lensroll options will appear on a live lens if the viewer is a member of Squidoo and logged in.

Add this to your lens »

GRAB A CRAYOLA AND SIGN HERE!

Rate my lense while you are here! Click on the stars up top!

  • jgelien Dec 11, 2010 @ 1:29 am | delete
    That's one thing I enjoyed the most about having children, the totally unexpected and hilarious things that came out of their mouths. Very cute lens.
Show All

PROTECT THE ONES

Who are protecting us

They give their lives in order that we might be free. It's the least you can do!

Operation Helmet is a 100% volunteer, non-partisan, charitable organization that provides helmet upgrade kits free of charge to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as to those ordered to deploy in the near future.

ALL ABOUT ME

What Little I Know

BASKETOFCANDLES.COM

CLICK TO WIN

More Things To See On Kids

Lenses and sites I run across that you might find useful too!
Teaching Your Kids To Cook
Every week I receive emails from parents interested in finding cooking and baking classes for their kids. Some are interested in a one time cooking lesson, some want to hold a birthday party, some are looking for a summer cooking camp.Then there is a group with teenagers who are interested in attend
Squidoo : Lensmaster Page
Cool Lensmasters
Share your knowledge. Make a difference.
Return Department for Children
I love my children - really I do. It's just sometimes . . . well they do something that makes you wonder. We were never like that when we were younger. Not that we were perfect, but we NEVER would cause our parents to wonder - is there a Return Department? Could I get a replacement - one that is mor
Funny Things Kids Say, Submit Yours Today!
Funny Things Kids Say
featured on BlessingsforLife.com Don't you just love the
funny things our children can come up with sometimes? 
They speak the most innocent and precious words that either warm our hearts or make us laugh with delight.  If a child you know has said something
that
crazy funny kids
A lens filled with my own stories of motherhood, and the craziness my young kids put me through and submissions from you!*PLEASE**EMAIL me at the.poess@gmail.comor send me a MESSAGE through here with a funny story about your kids and I will post it promptly with credit to you, just let me know what
Mom (and Dad) Humor Headquarters
Mom (and Dad) Humor This group will focus on lenses that deal with the humor that happens in families. Please keep it family friendly!Do you have a lens that shows how you deal with your teenagers? The only requirements - show how you use humor to get through being a Mom or Dad and maybe some suggest

Lost Something? Look For It Here!

by

Lori_Lee-Ray

Hi! I hope everything is going well for you! My name is Lori Lee Ray and I'm the owner of Basket Of Candles, located in the pineywoods of East Texas in... more »

Feeling creative? Create a Lens!

Explore related pages

Related Tags