I Like Fruitcake!

I found out in my teens that most people do not like fruitcake - or, at least, they don't admit that they like it. Poor fruitcake. It's really gotten a bad rap. Many, many times, I laughed, joked, or insulted that poor fruitcake so as not to appear "different" or god forbid "un-cool". I would only eat it with my immediate family or hiding out in my closet.

Then, I met my husband and he likes fruitcake too! I couldn't believe it. He likes it and he's proud of it. I have heard him defend the dessert on numerous occassions to friends that say "people don't really eat that, do they?" or "I thought fruitcake was just a gag gift".

My mother makes several cakes for him every Christmas. In fact, we just picked up a large loaf and two small loaves yesterday at Thanksgiving, with the promise of more to come.

So now my husband and I can sit right in the middle of our livingroom eating fruitcake with shameless abandon.

Fruitcake (or fruit cake) is a cake made with chopped candied fruit and/or dried fruit, nuts, and spices, and (optionally) soaked in spirits. A cake that simply has fruit in it as an ingredient can also be, colloquially, called a fruitcake. In the United Kingdom, certain rich versions may be iced and decorated. Fruitcakes are often served in celebration of weddings and Christmas.

According to Wikipedia

The earliest recipe from ancient Rome lists pomegranate seeds, pine nuts, and raisins that were mixed into barley mash. In the Middle Ages, honey, spices, and preserved fruits were added.

Fruitcakes soon proliferated all over Europe. Recipes varied greatly in different countries throughout the ages, depending on the available ingredients, as well as, (in some instances) church regulations forbidding the use of butter, regarding the observance of fast. Pope Innocent VIII (1432-1492) finally granted the use of butter, in a written permission known as the 'Butter Letter' or Butterbrief in 1490, giving permission to Saxony to use milk and butter in the North German Stollen fruitcakes.

Starting in the 16th century, sugar from the American Colonies (and the discovery that high concentrations of sugar could preserve fruits) created an excess of candied fruit, thus making fruitcakes more affordable and popular.

Preheat oven 300 degrees

2 1/2 Cups un-sifted flour
1 tsp. baking soda
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 - 28 oz. jar None-Such Ready to Use Mincemeat (Bordens brand)
1 - 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated)
2 cups (1 lb.) mixed candied fruit (this would be the green and red cherries and yellow pineapple)
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans

Grease and flour 9 or 10 inch tube pan. Sift together flour and baking soda - set aside. In large bowl, combine remaining ingredients, then blend in dry ingredients. Pour into prepared pan. Bake 1 hour 50 minutes or until toothpick inserted near center is clean. Cool 15 minutes. Turn out on plate. Cool completely.

If you don't want to use a tube pan, this recipe will make a large loaf and 2 small loaves.

1. Use as a doorstop
2. Use as a paper weigh
3. Use to clean your pots and pans
4. Use as boat anchor
5. Use as bricks in fireplace
6. Build a house with them
7. Use it to hold up your Christmas tree
8. Use as a pencil holder
9. Give it to the cat for a scratching post
10. Put it in the back yard to feed the birds and squirrels
11. Hold up your car when changing tires
12. Slice and use for poker chips
13. Use it to carve your turkey on
14. Use as replacement for Duraflame log
15. Take it camping with you...use it to weigh down the tent
16. Use it as a seat at a stadium event
17. Stand on it when you change a lightbulb
18. Put it in the back of your car/truck for snow/ice driving
19. Replaces free weights when you work out
20. Use as book ends at the school library

"Why do fruitcakes make ideal gifts? Because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them".

Ha Ha Ha!

Why all of the fruitcake jokes? Many think that it started because elderly people would buy them and re-gift them, until some of them had been passed around to every house in a neighborhood. Because the fruit was candied and their was usually liquor added, the fruitcake could last quite a while.

According to eHow.com, "Some blame the beginning of this trend with Tonight Show host Johnny Carson. He would joke that there really is only one fruitcake in the world, passed from family to family. After Carson's death, the tradition continued with "The Fruitcake Lady" (Marie Rudisill), who made appearances on the show and offered her "fruitcake" opinions. Since 1995, Manitou Springs, Colorado, has hosted the Great Fruitcake Toss on the first Saturday of every January . "We encourage the use of recycled fruitcakes," says Leslie Lewis of the Manitou Springs Chamber of Commerce. The all-time Great Fruitcake Toss record is 1,420 feet, set in January 2007 by a group of eight Boeing engineers who built the "Omega 380," a mock artillery piece fueled by compressed air pumped by an exercise bike"

Instructions

1. Consider what is funny about fruitcake. Look for unusual perspectives on the dessert, like its density, alcohol content, alternate uses, social placement, etc.

2. Decide what type of joke structure to use. A knock-knock joke, a 'What's the difference between a fruitcake and a ...' joke, a situational joke (So there's this fruitcake...) or a denominational joke (A priest, a rabbi and a fruitcake are on an island...). Read other jokes for ideas of structure
and see how a fruitcake fits in.

3. Write the setup, or introduction. The introduction should not be longer than one or two lines. Use short words and keep your syllable count low.

4. Write the punch line. The punch-word, or word that contains the central concept of the punch line, should be placed at the end of the punch line. In this case, it just may be "fruitcake."

5. Say the joke out loud to yourself a few times, then try it out on a trusted friend. We cannot emphasize "trusted" enough. Ask your friend if the joke is funny. Demand an honest opinion.

6. Take your finished fruitcake joke into the world. Publish it on the Web or send it around in an email. Share it with your friends and family during the holidays.

Bahamas - In the Bahamas, not only is the fruitcake drenched with rum, but the ingredients are as well. All of the candied fruit, walnuts, and raisins are placed in an enclosed container and are soaked with the darkest variety of rum, anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months in advance. The cake ingredients are mixed, and once the cake has finished baking, rum is poured onto it while it is still hot.

Canada - The fruitcake is commonly known as a Christmas Cake in Canada and eaten during the Christmas season. Rarely is it seen during other times of the year. The Canadian fruitcake is similar in style to the UK version, as it is in most Commonwealth countries. However, there is rarely icing on the cake and alcohol is not commonly put in Christmas cakes that are sold. The cakes also tend to be void of any decorations and are shaped like a small loaf of bread. Dark, moist and rich Christmas cakes are the most frequently consumed, with white Christmas cake rarely seen. These cakes tend to be made in mid-November to early December when the weather starts to cool down. They are a staple during Christmas dinner and a gift generally exchanged between business associates and close friends/family.

France - In French, as in some other non-English speaking countries, it is simply called "Cake".

Germany - The Stollen, a traditional German fruitcake usually eaten during the Christmas season, is loaf-shaped and powdered with icing sugar on the outside. It is usually made with yeast, butter, water, flour, zest, raisins, and almonds. The most famous Stollen is the Dresdner Stollen, sold at the local Christmas market.

Italy - Panforte is a chewy, dense Tuscan fruitcake dating back to 13th-century Siena. Panforte is strongly flavored with spices and baked in a shallow form. Panettone is a Milan fruitcake. Genoa's fruitcake, a lower, denser but still crumbly variety, is called Pandolce.

Romania - Cozonac is a fruitcake mostly made for every major holiday (Christmas, Easter, New Year).

Switzerland - Birnenbrot is a light, fluffy sweet Swiss fruitcake with candied fruits and nuts.

Trinidad and Tobago - Fruit cake, also called black cake is a traditional part of the Christmas celebration. The cake incorporates a large quantity of raisins and rum and becomes a staple dinner item between the Christmas season and New Years'.

United Kingdom - In the UK, fruitcakes come in many varieties, from extremely light to rich and moist. The traditional Christmas cake is a round fruitcake covered in marzipan and then in white satin or royal icing (a hard white icing made with softly beaten egg whites). They are often further decorated with snow scenes, holly leaves, and berries (real or artificial), or tiny decorative robins or snowmen. In Yorkshire, it is often served accompanied with cheese. One type of cake that originated in Scotland is the Dundee Cake. This is a fruit cake that is decorated with almonds, and which owes its name to Keiller's marmalade.

United States - Typical American fruitcakes are rich in fruit and nuts. Mail-order fruitcakes in America began in 1913. Some well-known American bakers of fruitcake include Collin Street Bakery in Corsicana, Texas, and The Claxton Bakery in Claxton, Georgia. Both Collin Street and Claxton are southern companies with access to cheap nuts, for which the expression "nutty as a fruitcake" was derived in 1935. Commercial fruitcakes are often sold from catalogs by charities as a fund raiser. Most American mass-produced fruitcakes are alcohol-free, but traditional recipes are saturated with liqueurs or brandy and covered in powdered sugar, both of which prevent mold. Brandy- or wine-soaked linens can be used to store the fruitcakes, and some people feel that fruitcakes improve with age. In the United States, the fruitcake has been a ridiculed dessert.