How To Become An Internet Mogul

One may think that knowledge of how to program a computer is necessary to become an internet mogul. You may have even bought some mysql, html, javascript, and php books. Well, take em all back. No progamming knowledge is necessary. If you need proof, look at Mark Cuban. He sold broadcast.com to yahoo for $5.9 billion, and he couldn't program his way out of a paper sack. (Yea, that's him in the bag with a computer). He failed his only computer coarse at Indiana University.

That's right, poke a little fun at someone famous in some article (see above). Hopefully, they will read the article, and poke a little fun back at you. Then next thing you know, you are famous.

There is no where that this strategy is more used than hip hop. Hey, it worked for Cool Mo Dee. He sold a ton of albums just poking fun at LL Cool J. Also, Canibus has made four albums after his beef with LL Cool J.

Heck, you know what, if you want to be an internet mogul, call out LL Cool J. It seems to work for everyone else.

If you want to make it big on the internet, you have to have a interesting profile picture that people will remember. And no, your myspace page picture or your hotornot picture probably doesn't cut it.

You are going to be an internet mogul, and you want people to take you seriously, so flexing your guns or trying to show as much cleavage as possible won't work.

Seriously, which of these people are you going to believe information from?

(Hint: The guy in the middle has a couple of lenses on squidoo.)

Take a little time and think of something good for your profile pic. (I should probably redo mine).

How about now? Stumble It!

If you have ever read Seth Godin's Blog you know that he can't go a week without posting some list. I would imagine at some point he has made himself a list of things to do in the morning that looks something like this:

1. Brush Teeth
2. Shave Head
3. Take Shower
4. Eat Breakfast
5. Make list of things to do today

The guy just loves lists. And it works for him. Afterall, he IS an internet mogul.

People who read on the internet love lists, top 10 this or top 5 that, they (we) just eat it up. I mean check out Digg at any time of the day, and you will see one or two lists.

Thus, write a couple articles in list form if you want to get noticed on the internet, and check it twice for bad spelling. (Some people really hate bad spelling. They point it out on my articles all the time.)

You are probably asking, "What is mesothelioma, and what am I talking about?" The truth is, I have no idea what it is, but lawyers do, and they are willing to pay ton's of money for click through adds about it. In fact, at one point lawyers were willing to pay as much as $25 per advertisement click. Thus, almost every person writing on the internet thought it would be a good idea to write an article about it to see if they could make some serious money. It is now estimated that the number of poorly written mesothelioma web pages have passed the number of x-rated web pages on the internet. (It has also been estimated that 47.3% of all statistics are made up.) Some people have even resorted to buying adds about similar words in the hope that someone will click on an add on their page. Don't waste your time.

Write articles about things that interest you and that you have something to say about. Don't just put out pages with the hot keywords that have no real content to make money. It just doesn't work.

(And don't bother posting your link for mesothelioma lawyers here. It will get deleted.)

One thing I learned on my way to becoming an internet mogul is that it is impossible to find any good information about search engine optimization on google. Don't get me wrong, there are ton's of websites on SEO, but the ones you find on google, by and large, will just be trying to sell you a book about SEO. Those guys are obviously good at SEO, but they are not giving the information away. To find good information on how to get people reading your site use Stumbleupon's search feature. The advantage of searching there is that you will only get sites that someone else liked.

It is natural to want to get the word out about how you are going to be an internet mogul. One way to do it is to comment on other people's sites, which is okay, but spam is not. It is like TYPING IN ALL CAPS or yelling in someone's ear. It is just not cool. Make sure you only comment on relevant things. Then and only then is it ok to include your link.

So how do you know if you are relevant? Well, you can use the 2 degrees of comments rule. It is kinda like the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game, but with less steps. Here's an example. If you are thinking...

1. Well his post is about hamsters. 2. And hamsters are mammals. 3. And dogs are mammals 4. And my site is about dogs.

then you just went 2 steps too far. You are spamming.

If you think...

1. His post is about ways to clean out hamster cages and 2. I have a better way.

then explain it, and provide a link with more details. You may even get a thank you.

A good place to find relevant nofollow places to comment is the Followtopia search engine. Also, be sure to tell your friends on the social networking sites like Digg.

Seriously? How did you get here without knowing this one? And why would you want to be an internet mogul if you didn't know what the internet is?

This kinda reminds me of the movie Zoolander.

"They're in the computer."