No man alive has ever witnessed the struggles I survived" that should be my theme. Its been about 6 years now since my motorcycle accident. I was in a coma for several months. I suffered a fatal injury to the left side of my brain. The doctors on this island told my family I would never be able to walk. Before for that I was on top of my world. This is now my journey to go back in time, to as much as I can remember before my accident, during my accident, and now surviving my accident. I want everyone to know and maybe learn from my experience. I must warn everyone, this will take alot out of me emotionally and there maybe times you can absolutely see the emotions come out. I apologize to anyone reading this waaay before hand of some of the graphic language that may spew out onto this entry. Welcome to my survival!! Please continue reading my experience on my blog on this website. And please do comment. I know there are many out there that have had been in accidents far worst and or lesser than mine. There are memories in my life that are completely wiped out. Feelings I can't ever remember feeling which could have been a good thing. Indeed it was. Ex-relationships, friends, people I may have encountered, as the old me.
I feed upon the vibe I get from those that knew the old me. You get that stare that stand offish feeling. It can be awkward. To some I was the coolest guy, to others I was a ***** and to the ladies, well coming out of the coma with 2 butts, 2 bellybuttons and 4 eyes, I still look good. (Thanks Mom).
I've been on my own for awhile, since being out of the coma. I think I might have surprised everyone. I was able to drive again and get my driver's license, I was able to go back to the ocean on a boogieboard. I tried to balance on a surfboard once with my sister. THAT WAS A THRILL, AN AWESOME THRILL!!! To me yes, because balance for me has been a challenge. I can walk fine and I can run, (which I try to be consistent everyday). Balance was something that I knew I had BC (before COMA). My parents had me in shotokan karate when I young. There are days when I wished I had that part of me back. But then again I was too prideful and too punchy. I have certain apprehensions. The doctors had to reconstruct facial parts and place titanium plates in the cranium area. That would not be a good thing if I got into a fight now would it.
During my recovering my mom did suggest to me to keep a journal. I did for awhile. Maybe I might just go back into it and publish it back here. It has mainly to do with alot thoughts of my relationships with women in my past. Unfortunately, fleshly things. Hmm, it just seems too easy to revert to that. Its easier if I didn't have so much feelings invested in them. I'm learning the price of having a love that I know I would never ever find in a very long time. Like the song says, "In Too Deep" by Phil Collins.
On the lighter side of things, I enjoyed watching "Friends" when I was recovering. To this day I will record it on DVR when its on. Yes, I know every episode storyline. "Joey" is the man. "Chandler" -- Gotta admire the sarcasm. "Ross" well, just a nerd. I'm one. In the closet nerd. Most of the time, those that know me, say I'm too punchy and I lose it too much. I blame it on the head injury. Fact of the matter is: I got the looks like Joey, sarcasm like Chandler and a tincture of nerdiness like Ross. I crack myself up. I gotta have comedy. That is a must for me. Otherwise I would be beating someone down. The last time I got to see a good movie was "PS I Love You." It was definitely worth watching. Lisa Kudrow made the show for me. The woman in the real world has brains to be a neuro-surgeon but yet plays a dumb blonde. Can't get any better than that.

As a person with certain limitations, boogieboarding has not hindered me from experiencing the adrenaline I get from being barreled. What am I talking about? I am talking about riding a wave in Maui. I live on this island for a reason. One of my biggest joys is checking out the southside of Maui and going to certain places with my board and catching oceanwaves. The surge flows through my body. It's an excitement that you can only explain by just pure energy. When I am in the water, it's as if I have no fear of things. Just to allow "Mother Nature" to have her way with me is plenty enough. This hobby of mind allows me to be uninhibited of fear. There are certain fears I would rather not admit. Pride, I guess. But this activity gives me that freedom from fear. I endeavor to workout at our local gym, but it never is the same. Every chance I get, you'll catch me on the south side of Maui, in the Summer time catching a wave. I'll be out till there is no sunlight. Am I crazy? No... just in love with the ocean.

I'm pulling things out from the past now as I sit here. I don't fully remember waking up, I just remember not having full use of the right side of my body. My right arm was curled into my body for about 2 months. The nurses and the therapist massaged, pulled, even pinched my right arm. I did not feel a thing. Interestingly there was no pain, nor feeling in my arm. My speech was messed up, I could not express my feelings. Writing was a problem since I had to use my left hand. Everything I did with my right hand, my left hand had to learn. Wiping my butt, shaving my "butt" (I have a cleft), brushing my teeth, eating my food, even spanking my monkey. Yes, this is going to be a brutal lens to read, but I feel the need to let everyone know what I had to do in order to get back to living a "normal" life. My family went through alot of emotional turmoil during this period. Even to this day, my mother does not want to go by the medical center I went for physical rehabilitation. I feel very blessed with all the help I had from everyone. It was a grueling 10 months of swearing, frustration, and anger to want to strive to be "normal" again. I didn't even recognize my own mother when I came out of the coma. I know that it must have hurt her, but the doctors reassured her that it was temporary and all part of the brain injury. My injury was on the left side of my head. They had to reconstruct my face with titanium. Now, thanks to that, my nose is straight. I crack myself up. But seriously, I need the comedy in my life. I blame it on genetics, Puerto Rican and high blood pressure. Thanks DAD...