1. List your items whenever you feel like it.

You're an early bird? Get up at 5 a.m. and that feels like a great time to list? SURE! Since, unless you pay to have your auctions start at a specified time, your auctions will start when you list AND, more importantly, END when you list (5 a.m.) and only REAL night owls/super Early Birds will be surfing the net then. You'll miss the two best chances to be seen: "Newly Listed" and "Ending Soonest".. you're more likely to get a bid when your item was just listed or when it's about to end. Why not make that 5 a.m. when the rest of the civilized world is asleep?!!

2. Choose your auction Titles a.k.a. keywords based upon what's meaningful to you.

"Uncle Phil's favorite knick knack," is a good example. Or - "Great buy! Click here!" OH! What a sales pitch! Since key words (the words in your title) are key to how buyer's find you, why not use obscure, fluffy, non-specific nonsense in your Title - WAY TO GO! Absolutely NO ONE will be searching for Uncle Phil! But don't let that deter you - you're well on your way to losing your shirt! Awesome!

3. Pay no attention to the "Going price" for your item.

Okay, you've got a newly purchased toy that you found in the Clearance bin at your favorite discount store. There are 12,000 of them currently listed on eBay for $.99 or less, but, what they hey, why not ask $27.50? Someone, somewhere is probably willing to meet your price, right? Your time is worth something, right? YOU GO! List it for whatever amount you'd like for the item - don't let the words, "What the market will bear" enter your mind!

4. Jack up the shipping - WAY UP!

Okay, so you decided maybe you'll list your item for the going price, but you've got to make a buck somewhere, right? SO, even though the item weighs 1 ounce and would fit nicely in a regular envelope and would actually only cost around $.45 to ship, why not jack up the shipping price to make a little coin, eh? You gotta make some money somewhere, right? Sure, list it with "shipping and handling" costs of $14.95 - surely the "right" buyer will come along!

5. Everyone loves a mystery - why not Mystery shipping costs?

Wait, even better than jacking up the shipping costs, why not make the shipping charges a surprise? Everyone loves a surprise, right? The unmistakable allure of the unknown, the mystique of the mystery shipping costs. Let your would-be bidders chase after you asking how much to ship. They'll enjoy sitting by their computers, waiting for your answer (why answer and ruin the fun?) so they can decide whether to bid or not to bid.

Never you mind that USPS.com has shipping calculators where you can get a realistic estimate of shipping costs. Shipping calculators are for the faint of heart! No guts, no glory (and all that)!

6. Details! Who needs stinkin' details??!!

SO, you've got this highly collectible, one-of-a-kind antique, highly-sought-after item, a real find, MUST HAVE! Why not use JUST THAT as your auction text? It's short, sweet, and explains how highly collectible, right? EVERYONE will just be dying to have it, right? No point adding boring details like what exactly that highly collectible antique item is, nor a photo or two, nor what its condition is, nor how many are thought to exist. Details! No one wants any freakin' details! YAWNS-ville!

Puh-lease don't bore your potential bidders with such details! I'm sure they are made of money and have no problem with dropping a pretty penny for your "pig in a poke." A detailed description would just bore them to tears, no doubt. So just assure them of what a deal they'll be getting, that'll do.

7. Everyone loves Gigantic, slow-to-load photos and animated GIFS

If you're going to do it, do it right: Post as many of the most gigantic photos you can in your auction. You use photobucket.com for free photo hosting, so let the sky be the limit- make your listing chock full of huge, slow-to-load photos and why not throw in some pink dancing bunnies to liven things up, too? No one is going to mind waiting 10 minutes (or an hour on dial-up) to see your fantastic auction!

8. Sell, but on YOUR TERMS.

Sick of getting kicked around? You're ready to tell the world just what to do if they want to do business with you? Why not include a laundry list (in gigantic RED font) of YOUR TERMS OR ELSE in your auctions?! Tell 'em: THEY BETTER pay up in 24 hours via wire transfer or cash, THEY BETTER not expect you to ship for 3 weeks, THEY BETTER not email you with their pathetic little questions, THEY BETTER pay for shipping insurance so you don't have to worry about the item being lost in the mail, THEY BETTER leave you shining feedback immediately after paying OR ELSE! I'm sure they'll appreciate your being up front. Good luck with that.

9. Hide your Feedback.
Back to the allure of the mystery: Why not lure buyers with your mysterious, hidden "Private" feedback? Any buyer would RUN, not walk to bid on the auction from the MYSTERY SELLER. MYSTERY SELLER is surely a fascinating person who sells only to celebrities and undercover agents so MUST have hidden feedback. No one will be concerned that you are hiding hideous feedback from the thousands you've ripped off. You are just MYSTERIOUS.

10. An offer you can't refuse!

WOW! It's your lucky day! Someone just offered you $5000 over your asking price on your $14.00 widget! They are sending you a cashier's check for $10,000 and you only need to wire transfer them back the extra $5000 and you get to keep $5000 for your trouble! YEE HA! Don't let that old saying about, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is" gnaw at you! People give away $5000 to complete strangers all the time, your day was bound to come!
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Okay, I've had a lot of fun writing this. Let's pretend the music is reversible (it's not just the Beatles anymore):

10. RUN, don't walk from any offers well above your selling price where you are to return a portion of the funds. It's a SCAM!
Forward that email to Spoof@ebay.com and DON'T CLICK ANY LINKS!
9. Let your Feedback "all hang out."
Private FB is a red flag for anyone who has been on eBay for more than a week or so. If your feedback is really bad, you're doing something wrong. If you have 1 neg and a couple hundred positive, most buyers will take a balanced view if there's a logical explanation or a unreasonable buyer. You can respond to negative feedback, but keep it factual and explanatory.
8. Terms of Sale, keep 'em nice and reasonable.
It's okay to have "Terms of Sale," in fact, it's important to protect yourself with such terms as, "Item ships 10 days after check clears for personal checks," but try to look at your Terms from a buyer's perspective and how you word it can make all the difference.
7. Be kind, resize.
PLEASE resize your photos to around 72 dpi so they don't take an hour to load! I spent years on dial up and ALWAYS hit the back button if the photos didn't load in 30 seconds or so! And those dancing bunnies? Well, they probably won't entertain anyone but you and they may slow down the load of your auction.
6. Details - collectors need 'em!
Ah, collectors. They are the ones who might treasure your first edition comic book, they are the ones who might launch a bidding war to thrill you like you've never been thrilled! They are the ones who might bid high and bid often and they need DETAILS. ALL OF THEM. Tell them everything you can about the item: All of the markings, the condition, every little knick and flub, any accompanying documentation, etc. And nice, clear, close up photos (but not too huge, see #7). They want to know what they'll get for the money.
5. State your shipping charges, please.
Please include exact shipping charges or a shipping calculator in your auctions so bidders know how much it'll cost all-told for that item. I like to buy, too, and I am loathe to email a seller for shipping cost. If they can't be bothered to say, I can't be bothered to bid.
4. Don't jack up the shipping!
C'mon, we bidders weren't born yesterday. We know your 1 ounce widget doesn't cost $19.99 to ship. Don't try to jack us up on shipping charges! Trying to make a mint by grossly overcharging on shipping is not only bad business, it's "Fee avoidance" which can get your listings yanked. Don't do it!
3. Know what the market will bear.
Do a little research before you list if you're not sure what the "going price" is for your item. You might be delighted to find it's highly collectible or you may find 12,000 other sellers selling it for $.99. But best to know up front so you can price it appropriately so it'll sell (or even not list it if you won't make any money at the end of the day).
Search "Completed items" like the one you want to list and see what they've sold for in the past.
2. Key words are KEY!
Your listing Title or key words are the key to how buyers will find you. Use the most relevant key words you can think of and don't waste any precious space with punctuation or THE, etc. For example, instead of: Cool, Neat! Barbie Good buy! Smile! Look!
Try: New Holiday Barbie Doll in Box
Or instead of, Baseball card
Try: 1968 Topps Baseball Card Rico Petrocelli Red Sox
So, Red Sox fans, Baseball Fans, Rico Petrocelli fans and Baseball card collectors will find your auction.
1. Aim your listing for "high surf"
Your "start time" will determine when you show up as "Newly Listed" and "Ending Soonest," your two best chances of getting bids - aim for high surf!
Evenings and weekends are usually high surf. Sometimes lunch time works if someone is sneaking in a bid at work, but keep the East Coast/West Coast thing in mind to try to catch as many would-be buyers surfing at once. Most importantly, don't let your auction end at a time when NO ONE is on the web.