Experiences Of Bi-Polar Disorder And Manic Depression

Mania is an unknown quantity. It can be baffling and at the very least can be life threatening. I was diagnosed 14 years ago and am still taking medication .

Most people know very little about this illness,in fact if you mention manic depression then you find that people only pick up on the depression part. Mania being the opposite of depression.

Mania can be exciting and produces a feeling of well being and at times can be euphoric. The down side being that you cannot sleep for days or weeks. I have enjoyed delusions of grandeur and have had many adventures associated with elation.

I first took unwell in Corfu in 1993. I was 30 and full of fun. I was flight only. When I hit Corfu I hired a motorbike and strapped my bag onto it and toured staying in various locations. I met some nice people including two Dutch girls who invited me to stay with them for five days. We had a great time together and became good friends. Life was wonderful. Later I met a another girl who was fun to be with. There was so much happening. I was having the time of my life. I had a fixed grin on my face.

Something sinister was about to happen to me though, something that would change my life and my whole way of thinking. It is true that I left my baggage in Corfu and came home with only a smile and a bandana. Indeed I didn't care. Something had taken over, taken hold of me.

Much happened on the day that I returned, both police and a doctor were summoned. To be fair my family were worried about me. I was running around on a large motorcycle and was babbling a bit. There was so much happening, for instance the doctor wanted to stick a needle in me, I less than politely told him where to stick his needle. I was later shadowed by the police but they made no arrest at this point.

I had a girlfriend who was working at The Old Port. She collected me at 12am and we headed back to my place. When I got to the front door two guys came running up the stairs. I punched one in the face and managed to wrestle the two of them out the close door.

My time was getting near. I went to bed with Alison only to get out of bed again. I had been offered work in Corfu and fancied going back although I had a good job in a local factory working shifts. Switching on the kitchen light I suddenly noticed the police van. I immediately switched the light off again. the van was coming my way. I fled into the close running down the stairs, hiding in the stairwell I saw two policemen enter the close.

I heard my brother also. I had nothing to hide so came out of hiding. My mother was there too. Then the doctor reappeared. By now it must have been about 2.00am . The doctor again wanted me to take an injection. I accepted as I was just going to bed anyway. I said goodnight to the police and they were not moving, I made the doctor stand outside. I then jumped into bed with Alison. Next thing there was an ambulance crew in my bedroom beckoning me to accompany them to hospital. This was the start of my first episode of mania it lasted about three weeks.

All in I have had five bouts of mania. There was so much happening it is all too much to write down at this point. Some episodes lasted about six to eight weeks.

From the very first time back in 93 I thought that I had connected with a higher power. Ask me today 14 years on and I will tell that I had and that in fact now I have that power living in my heart, indeed I am a part of it. I am humbled by it.

I have been in my factory in the early hours with no clothes on, later crawling around the railway line naked them crawling under gorse bushes still naked, that was in March and it was raining.I was cold and discovered that there was dry grass so I covered myself and hid from everything for a couple of hours. Later to emerge at 5.00am to run home only to arrive at my front door with no key and so kicked the door in with my bare feet.

I smashed my car up as well as two others and a caravan got charged with knocking two folk down.

I was in the mountains in Corfu giving all my money away to the peasants and Later spent two weeks in a Corfu sanitoriuum.

These are only very small snippets of a very large ordeal. There is just too much to list and it is not all good.

I have to say though I have used my condition of mind and thought control to get me through very hard times. Thinking of the higher power has helped emensely. I believe that anyone can connect to it. I have been working on it for 14 years and have found it an invaluable friend. The power can help you beat manic depression.

I would like to help people with similar illness as I understand what is happening. You do not have to be ill to receive the Spirit and you can have it installed free of charge. There is more so much more. There is more to life than meets the eye. More to follow...... Scott Mackie: Burntisland On Sea,Scotland