Things Women DO NOT Like About Men

Okay, so men are always asking what women want when it comes to men, well, that's what this lens is. It's a general list of thing women like and dislike about men. Or more to the point, I can't speak for every woman out there, I can only speak for myself, so you are getting this from my personal point of view. So, while these things may or may not hold true for all women, they hold true for me and women like me, and that will at least give you some glimpse inside the female brain and how it sees men.

That's a biggie! You start using the F-word and I'm out of there, and you'll be looking for a new girlfriend. Mild cursing, doesn't bother me, but if you start talking like a sailor... NO WAY!

You will have a very hard time finding a women who will put up with a lot of cursing and swearing.

My ex-boyfriend turned me into a woman who hates sports. How? He had 7 television sets in his living room, so that he could watch every game on every channel all at once. He had another tv in the bathroom, so that he wouldn't miss anything in there. There was a tv in the kitchen, just in case he had to get a drink during the game. There was a tv in the car, just in case the game came on while he was stuck in traffic. If he was home, the tvs were on: every single one of them, all tuned into the sports channels which played sports 24 hours a day.

Before I met him, my interest in sports was limited at best, but I didn't dislike sports. Fifteen years of sports 24 hours a day playing on 10 tv sets: I HATE sports now.

Was the problem too much sports? No, actually it wasn't. The problem was the zombie zoned out in front of the tvs. If you spoke he didn't hear you. He didn't hear me, he didn't hear his friends, he didn't know anything existed outside of the tv screens. If he did hear you speak, he would suddenly go from zoned out zombie to mega-grouch and snap a quick, hot tempered "Shut up, I'm watching the game!"

While this guy was a bit extreme with his sports addiction, sadly, he was far from the worst sports addicted man I've seen. I know another man, who is ten times worse, and this man was so much worse that he refused to go to his own father's funeral, because the game he was watching went into overtime.

These two men are not unusual either. It is one of the most common complaints made by girlfriends and wives:

"I can't get him to come to supper, because the game is on."

"His boss called, but I had to take a message because the game was on."

"The kids had another play at school yesterday, but he missed it again, because the game was on; he hasn't been to a single one of the kids activities yet, because there's always a game on."

"I had to reschedule his doctor's appointment because there was a game that day."

The problem, is not that the guy wants to watch sports, the problem is that he ignores his family, his friends, his health, and his entire life, for the sake of something that has zero real importance at all.

You know what? I really have to worry about a man who claims to be straight and yet he's obsessed with watching a bunch of half naked men in tights chasing balls. Sounds pretty gay to me.

I've noticed men do this, and I don't like it. I don't know of any other women who likes it either. It seems common for men to zone out in front of the sports channel and act like the rest of the world doesn't exist. Not good. A lazy guy with no hobbies will not find women as easy as the one who's active and enjoying hobbies. Women like hobbies. Women have lots of hobbies going at once. Women like men with hobbies, because women can relate to hobbies.

It's worse when the guy once was active and had hobbies, but now is married and zoned out in front of the tv. Most women have an extreme hatred for laziness. A woman who married a man who wasn't a couch potato, but now he is a couch potato, is likely to start complaining.

Women change every second, but they are active, they want to be doing busy work, and they usually want someone to do things with. Women don't mind that men change, but they don't like it when Mr. Athlete becomes a slug on the couch.

That's a BIG turnoff. Women like to talk, and they don't want a guy jumping on them about how everything they say is wrong. I've met a lot of men with a problem with this. They get all authoritative and start saying stuff to raise themselves up, by putting the gal down, than they can't understand why she gives him the silent treatment.

Women tend to react to men. In other words, she'll remain emotionless until the guy says something, and than her emotions respond. If he sounds mean and defensive, she'll be quick to react even more defensively than he was. If he's kind, she'll be just as kind back.

This is the biggest cause of nagging. A woman who nags, rarely nagged first. The guy may have only nagged once, but it was enough, and once nagged a woman may very well nag back for weeks.

Women have very high strung emotions, which change constantly, and change to match the emotions of whoever they are with. Men who get upset because the woman was defensive at them, should look in the mirror, or rather should remember that when talking to a woman, they ARE looking in the mirror, because a woman's emotions are usually determined by the emotion you sent out first.

You are reading the morning paper and your wife has been talking for the last hour but you have no idea what she said, because you couldn't be bothered to listen, than suddenly you find a pink dress and a blue dress flung across you breakfast plate and a your wife asking which one she should wear today.

You are blankly wondering why she is asking you, when she knows you have no fashion sense and think either will look good on her.

Ah! But there is where you have missed the point. She knows you think both look good on her, and no matter what you say, she is going to wear the pink one because just five minutes ago she told you she was going to wear the pink one. But you didn't know that because you zoned out and wasn't listening when she told you she was going to wear the pink one.

She is NOT asking you to choose for her, because she already knows what she wants to wear. She is asking because she knows that for the past 10 minutes you haven't heard a word she said, and now she's proving the point.

Women just want reassurance that they are chosen the right thing/color/etc. They don't really want an opinion, they want the guy to agree with them, to justify their choice.

Also though, the gal may just be testing her guy to see if he's really paying attention. She likely just told him she liked the pink dress better than the blue one, so now asking him which one she should buy, is a test to see if her heard her say she liked the pink one.

Men zone out when women talk, women ask questions to reassure themselves that their man cares enough about them, to actually listen to want she was saying. She doesn't want his opinion, she wants his undivided attention.

Personally, I prefer my guys on the thin side, so yep, overweight is another turnoff. Why? Well, different women are going to have different reasons.

To me it says: This guy is lazy and doesn't care about his health. If he's lazy about his personal health than he's very likely to be lazy in other areas in life as well. I take staying healthy very seriously, I want my guy to do the same.

I do not know a single man who does not do this:

Walk in the house and leave a trail of dirty cloths behind them.

Coat on the door knob.
Jacket on the kitchen floor.
Tie in the cat's water dish.
Shirt in the hall.
Pants in the bathtub.
Underwear on the lampshade.
Shoes in front of the tv
Socks on the table...

...and why do men walk back and forth through the house taking their cloths off, but they always take their muddy shoes off last?

The wife gets sick of picking up dirty cloths so she stops picking them up, thinking he'll pick up after himself and what happens? Before long there are no cloths left in the closet, they are all on the floor. Does he pick them up or wash them? No. He goes out and buys new cloths and they soon get added to the pile on the floor.

Why do they do this? According to my ex, he said it was easier to buy new cloths than pick up the old ones.

O... K... but now you can't see the floor.

Men ask women why this kind of thing bothers them.
Women ask men how they can be such lazy slobs.

Fact of the matter is, women tend to like everything neat and clean. Women usually live by the policy that everything has it's place, and when it's not in it's proper place, chaos ensues.

Women see men messing the house up like this, and think:

"This man doesn't care about me. He doesn't care about his home. He doesn't care that these cloths on the floor are a health hazard. He doesn't care that this is a fire hazard. He doesn't care about his kids or he wouldn't force them to live in this mess. He doesn't care that it took me 8 hours to clean the mess he made yesterday. He just doesn't care. Why am I with this uncaring slob? He is such a jerk."

The man, is now zoned out in front of the tv and is completely clueless as to why his woman is now in a rage and ready to throw a vacuum cleaner at his head.

Men always seem to be asking what to do about flowers. Should I buy her flowers? Will she love them or hate them? Will she think I've done something wrong and bought flowers to make up for it? Will she call me an old fashioned pig for buying flowers? Does she expect flowers? Will she throw them at me?

Wither or not to buy a woman flowers has to be the most asked question I hear men asking. Which is weird really, considering how many other questions they could be asking about women.

Flowers are a case of knowing the woman in question. Some women will get mad if you give her flowers. Some women will question your motives for giving them flowers. Some women don't care one way or the other. Some women will get mad if you DO NOT give them flowers. Some women will get mad if you get her flowers and they were not the type she expected to receive (you bought asters instead of roses, etc.) No two women are alike when it comes to flowers, so really there is no one size fits all answer here.

When in doubt, just ask her:

"Do you like men buying flowers for women?"

"What type of flowers do you like?"

It's simple and too the point, and unless your girl is pretty freaky, she's not going to get mad at you for asking.

Some liberated girls may say it's old fashioned and out dated to buy flowers, but hey, you're talking to a girl who dresses like she was in the 1500's and I like a man with 1500's romantics as well.

I'm a gardener... flowers are everywhere: roses, irises, lilies, you name it I probable grow it. In short: I love flowers! Flowers are good. Lavish me with flowers, I will not complain that they are cliche` or outdated.

And here's a tip: if your gal grows flowers, than she probably like me about this:

Cut flowers are good, I can put them in a vase and they'll brighten my room for a few day, however, potted flowers are better, because I can put it in my garden and it'll brighten my yard for years to come.

Extra tip: a dozen cut roses will cost you $50 or more and last about 2 weeks, but a rose bush costs about$30, and lasts for years. You save money, and you get more for your money.

How many years will a rose bush last? Well, the on in my garden belonged to my great grand mother and is over 200 years old. Now that's a gift that really lasted!

Note, however, that some girls really don't want flowers and if your girl is one of them, don't worry about it.

GAG! Not THIS woman! Give me a guy in a Victorian suit, a 1920's gangster, an Edwardian frock and top hat, 1500's robes and jerkin, or Japanese kimono and hakama any day! I prefer a man who lives in Gothic or ethnic fashions.

That is an easy answer. I know exactly the one thing I hate most about men. I hate secrets. Not the surprise secrets, like "I've got a birthday secret", but real secrets; big secrets; bad secrets. You want an example of what I mean? I had a boyfriend whom I was with for 15 years. He was notorious for secrets and lies. We never went on a date. I asked once about that, and his reason, so he said was because we could spend more time together if we stayed at my house. I believed him for several years, and did not ask about this again. One day however, we went to the store together, to the Maine Mall. Seventy-three stores under one roof, 10,000 shoppers a day, biggest mall in New England. So me and bf were walking down the hall, when suddenly he grabbed my arm and shoved me aside, telling me to walk the other way and pretend not to know him. I refused and demanded to know why. He said he could not be seen in public with me, because it would ruin his reputation, adding that some people he knew from work were coming this way. Because I refused to leave his side, he grabbed my arm again, and forcibly dragged me out of the Mall, only a few minutes after we had arrived. He took me home, and than gave me the silent treatment for over a week.

When I did hear from him again, he acted like nothing had happened. When I asked him why he acted the way he had, he said "Because I'm the man, I'm in charge." That was the end of it. Over the course of the 15 years we were together, this happened about twice per month. One time, a woman with a baby came up to him and started to talk to him, but he grabbed my arm and rushed me to the next aisle, ignoring the woman. A few minutes later she walked by, dropped a piece of paper on the ground, which I went to pick up, but he made a mad dash for it and than took it unfolded it with one hand over it, and than, disappeared down the aisle next to us. I followed him, to see him, rush up to the women with the baby, say something, and than rushed her towards the other side of the store. He returned to me. When I asked what was going on, he pretended not to hear me and changed to subject by saying "I think we need to buy some milk."

The one time a man he knew did catch us together, was when a man came up behind us who took bf by surprise. The man asked who I was, and bf (who by this time I was now engaged too) introduced me by saying: "Oh, she's nobody, her dad is a friend of mine from church, I'm just giving her a ride." I'm nobody. We had been together for 15 years. We were getting married in less than a month, and he introduced me to his friends as: nobody, the daughter of a friend. You could not even begin to imagine how much his words hurt me. I wanted to die right than and there. I have never felt so betrayed, so unloved, I couldn't believe he had said those words. A few weeks later, I found out, I was one of four women in this man's life, a man who confessed to be a proud supporter of polygamy. I haven't been able to trust men since than.

These sorts of events were frequent, and today, looking back, I have no idea why I ignored them or put up with them. As a result of the 15 years I had put up with this, I grew to develop a deep hatred for lies, secrets, and cheaters.

Don't be ashamed to be seen in public with me: Either you want to be with me or you do not want to be with me. If you can't let your friends know you associate with me, that tells me than that I am not one of your friends, nor do you truly consider me to be one of your friends, otherwise you would not be hiding me from your friends, but rather including me with them. If you can't include me as one of your friends, than you have no business be with me at all.

You can't even begin to image how much it hurts to be told you ae not good enough to be seen in public with the man who claims he loves you.