Lucy's Story: Sisterhood Explained

Maddy was always just my little sister. The one who dominated our parents' attention when she was a baby. The one who broke my toys, stole my lollies, drew in my books and put her hand right in the middle of my birthday cake.
Granted, she did improve as she got older. She was a great playmate, someone to build sandcastles with, to make dress-ups and dolls more fun. But, of course, she was the first to kick over the sandcastles, to monopolize the best dress-up clothes and she had a terrible habit of ripping the legs off my Barbies. As we grew, she always wanted to tag along when I went out with my friends, try on my clothes and experiment with my make-up. She was just my little sister, someone to complain to my friends about, to tease mercilessly and to tease back.

It's true, you never really appreciate something until you're faced with the possibility of losing it. I was sixteen when I came home from school to find Mum crying. "They think Maddy's got cancer," she told me. I was stunned. I knew Maddy had been having trouble with her leg, and I'd seen the swelling on her thigh. But I'd never entertained the possiblity of cancer.

Over the next few weeks, my vocabulary exploded. I learned all manner of new words, like "MRI", "metastases", "port-a-cath" and worst of all, "Ewing's sarcoma".

We were told that Maddy's chances of survival were around 40%. And that she had eighteen months of chemotherapy to look forward to. Chemotherapy was very rough on Maddy. Mum stayed at the hospital with her more or less permanently. My baby brother, Benjamin, who was only eleven weeks old when Maddy was diagnosed, became one of the youngest babies in the child care center. And I became the only eleventh grader who had to hurry from school to collect a baby from child care, hurry home to clean the house, feed the baby and start dinner, all before I visited my sister or started my homework.

Every time I thought about the stress I was experiencing, and complained to myself, I immediately felt incredibly guilty. How could I complain when Maddy was going through so much? Guilt became a big part of my life. Why did Maddy have the cancer, not me? How could I be so petty as to complain about anything? And worst, I was haunted be everything mean or cruel I'd ever done to Maddy. Every punch, hair pull, kick, pinch, prank, every time I'd teased her or taken her favorite cookie or snapped at her took on mammoth proportions.

Maddy's cancer brought us much closer together. Maddy was never one to dwell on her illness or what it was doing to her. Right from the start, when we were in shock and expecting her to die, she seemed to be telling us, "Get over it, I'm going to live." She was always eager for little bits of school gossip, funny stories, anything from the "outside world". We'd sit watching videos, either laughing hysterically or being the most obnoxious film critics in existence. I was enlisted in planning various pranks to play on the hospital staff. Granted, it is a little off putting to try to tell a joke to someone who is throwing up between hysterical giggles, but it's amazing how quickly these things start to seem normal.

I realized how little I'd known Maddy before. How much I'd taken it for granted that she'd always be there, just being my sister. And once I knew that, the months of treatment that followed nearly broke my heart. Sometimes, I do get annoyed when people assume that Maddy's cancer has had no effect on me at all. I know how much Maddy suffered, but it hurt me, too. That's what I sometimes wish people would realize. I'm still terrified of the possibility of losing my sister. But I'm inspired by her courage, and the spirit with which she faces her challenges. I'm certainly closer to both of my siblings now, and only occasionally resentful.

I've lost a lot of my youth, and missed a few teen age experiences because of our family's journey through the cancer maze. But anything I've lost can't come close to matching the degree of Maddy's losses. I'm simply thankful to have her.

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well," said the Scout. "Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby sister have it."

Mother: "Jared, get your little sister's hat out of that puddle."
Jared: "I can't mum, she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!"

Why did your sister jump out the window ?
Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" their father and mother," the Sunday school teacher asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

A friend once complained to my sister about the difficulties contained in child rearing, especially the lack of peace and quite rest. "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," my sister suggested. So my sister's friend bought a playpen. A few days later, my sister called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," she replied. "I get in the pen with a good book and the kids don't bother me one bit!"

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garretty

Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister. ~Alice Walker

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. ~Charles M. Schulz

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine

You can kid the world. But not your sister. ~Charlotte Gray

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five. ~Pam Brown

Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet. ~Vietnamese Proverb

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. ~Toni Morrison

What's the good of news if you haven't a sister to share it? ~Jenny DeVries

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. ~Linda Sunshine

If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma." ~Linda Sunshine

My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time. ~Linda Sunshine

I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends. ~James Boswell

If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater. ~Pam Brown

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. ~Author Unknown

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips. ~Author Unknown

When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us? ~Pam Brown

The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in trouble. ~Clara Ortega

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child. ~Barbara Alpert

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