Does Your Child Have Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

Allison wrote

in reply to Christine Don't beat yourself up so much. I can tell from the way you write about him that you love him alot- many parents don't even love their kids. You ARE a good parent who perhaps has made a few missteps (who hasn't?) I don't have alot of advice for you since my kid also gives me hell but hang in there and be more positive about yourself!

Posted June 24, 2009

Christine wrote

I'm so relieved to have found this place. Tonight I put my 7 yr old ADHD/ODD to bed with a lot of anger. He fights, cries, screams and refuses to listen to whatever it is I try to explain to him. I am a single mom and his dad is (has never been) involved. That breaks my heart but as Carol said, I'm exhausted and worn out. I often dream of putting him in a foster home for a break but the horror stories of those terrify me. I could never go through with it, anyway, I know it.

He is SO intelligent (they want to test him for gifted this coming school year) and I love him to pieces (as we all love out defiant children!) but geez.... my concern is that I've already done irrepairable damage in things I've said in a heated moment or that I've spanked him too many times (I wish I never would again and have vowed NOT to, sooo many times...but then he pushes an intense button and I fly off the handle). I feel just awful. I want to wipe the board clean :-(

Posted June 15, 2009

Amy wrote

I really believe that these kids need to find something that motivates them. What gets them excited? What positive thing in their life makes them happy? Find it. Look for it! and ACT on it! I feel like my daughter may have this disorder, although has never been diagnose with it. She was always getting written up in school. referrals, In school suspension, suspension..... the list goes on and on. It seemed for a while that Everytime the phone rang, It was the school and she was in trouble... She is in the 8th grade and has been struggling all year! I don't ask for straight "A's I just want her to do her very best and still that was a struggle. Then a miracle happend. She had decided to take on a sport! Volleyball. Now she knows that she needs to pass the grade to play. For 3 months straight all she talked about was volleyball ! Volleyball! I noticed a huge behavoir change! No calls from the school. No bad reports. She was actually showing that she gave a shit about her grades! WHY?!

Posted May 29, 2009

Carol wrote

I am here, looking for advice. My 13 year old son has ODD. It, I believe, is genetic, from his dad, and got worse after his dad and I divorced. I divorced my ex, because I was walking on egg shells. I am still, walking on egg shells. If things go my son's way, the world is peaceful. If not, watch out. He can argue anyone to the point where you are mentally exhausted and pretty much forgot what the argument was about! Everything is always everyone else's fault. If he is not listening, he is refusing to do chores, he is bugging his siblings or arguing a point. If he is in trouble, it is much worse! He debates and cries in order to get back what was lost. I am at a loss as to what to do. His dad refuses to agree to counseling. He, of course, blames me for not being able to control our son. He is a perfect angel at school, all the teachers love him. He is able to turn the switch off and on and that is what bothers me. Where he is most comfortable, he is his worst! Someone, please advise!

Posted May 25, 2009

Andrew wrote

My son is 13 years old now and was originally diagnosed with ADHD and ODD concurrently at age 10. His history in school and in relationship forming throughout his life has been based on manipulative excercises in trust and guilt with a hint of violence. His high level of charisma has me seriously concerned for the potential of a cult type leader of an extreme flavour should this not be remedied immediately. He hits an 8/8 on the above list with the more serious issues coming up at a rate 3-5 times what could be considered problematic.
The availability of resources is near nil from any agency of any flavour. As a single father, attempts to break into single parent groups have been met with near catastrophic failure due to the prevalence single mother support groups who view any 'man' as the enemy, with a near zero rate of single father support groups or their perspective as parents.
I am simply at a loss as to how to impart basic life lessons of consequence to someone who doesn'tcare

Posted May 20, 2009

Jen wrote

in reply to Brandi It is so nice to know I am not alone. My son is 10 and ever since he was 4 he has been on ADHD meds. Throughout his life though he became more and more defiant, he is so bad now the school calls me everyday. I have been to counseling, phscologists, takin away any privalages, he tells me he doesn't care if all he can do after school is read a book, In the am before school EVERYDAY we fight, I am so stressed out and fed up with him, I dont hate my child but I cant wait to get away from him. I cant take him anywhere he embnarrasses me constantly, and My friends are like " OH hes just a normal child, let him stay with me I will work with him," That just ends up them not wanting to be around him in the long run. It breaks my heart, and angers me I truelly don't know what to do with this child. If he is this bad now at 10 how will he be at 12 or 14.?????

Posted May 03, 2009