Introduction
Oppositional defiant disorder is a psychiatric disorder affecting mainly children. It is characterized by defiant and disruptive behaviors towards authority figures (parents and teachers) greater than would be normal for a child of that developmental age and which causes social problems. These behaviors are typified by regular intense and prolonged tantrums.
What is ODD
Parents report seeing their children with oppositional defiant disorder as rigid and demanding even when very little.
Behaviors typically exhibited by children with oppositional defiant disorder include:
- Often gets angry
- Often argues with adults
- Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
- Often deliberately annoys people
- Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
- Is often super sensitive or easily bothered by others
- Is often angry and resentful
- Is often spiteful or vindictive
ODD children become frustrated and angry when they do not get their way. They lose their tempers easily, and having a tantrum can occur suddenly and with very little warning.
What to Do During a Tantrum
It is important to remain neutral when dealing with tantrums as becoming frustrated and angry yourself will just increase the intensity of the tantrum.
If your intervention is not helping or exacerbating the situation then use a "time out" to calm the situation down. Praise and support your child if they decide to take a time out from a confrontation. Give them the space to relax and calm themselves.
Preventing Tantrums
Pick your battles in order to avoid unnecessary confrontation, focus on what you want your child to do rather than getting sidetracked onto other issues. Consequences should be limited to those that can be consistently reinforced and last for the least amount of time possible.
For example having given a time out for disruptive behavior doesn't add time for arguing. Concentrate on carrying out the time out. Trying to discuss the problem rationally can often retrigger the argument. It is therefore important to avoid doing this once the tantrum is over, as it may cause further confrontation.
Praise and reinforce positive behavior. Recognizing good behavior is just as important as discipline for disruptive behavior. Praise is not only a positive experience for both you and the child but helps to teach your child what is acceptable and how they should behave. Praising even minor behaviors such as cooperation and flexibility can help to build self-esteem.
Find ways to interact positively with your child, while teaching them to communicate their emotions in a calm way. This can be done through fun word games and games where the child is the leader and gets to play the authority figure they often rebel against. This will help the child to better understand his parents and teachers view points and help them to become more cooperative.
Parenting Resources
- Free Parenting Tips
- Link to a free parenting E-letter which focuses on helping parents of difficult children and teens
- Child Behavior Help
- Program for parents of difficult defiant children ages 2-11.
- Defiant Teen Behavior help
- Program for parents of difficult defiant teenagers ages 12 and older
- Treating Your Child's Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
- What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is one of the three disruptive behavior disorders listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is...
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder Screening Test
- Online screening test for ODD
Taking Care of Yourself
Many parents feel they neglect their partners and other children because they have to focus all their attention on managing their child's behavior. Taking a break doesn't mean you are neglecting your child. By taking a break you will be better able to deal with your child's behavior than if you didn't take time to relax occasionally.
Seeking help and advice from professionals and other parents with children that have oppositional defiant disorder allows you to build up an essential support network to help you better cope with your child's behavior.
Rather than feeling you and your partner have been left to raise and deal with your child's behavior alone, you will gain advice and knowledge about how to treat and improve your child's condition. You will consequently be better equipped to cope with your child's tantrums.
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