Online Dating Coach - Dating and Relationship Coaching, Online Dating Coach, April Braswell

Dating After Divorce Tips

by April Braswell

I was drivng north on 101 recently on a Wednesday morning to my office in Silicon Valley when I heard the DJs on the radio talking about some poor lady who was recently divorced who had been on her first date on Saturday night after being divorced for two years.

It had been a MISERY.

I'm thinking, "This dear lady needs some concrete help with dating after divorce tips." I really wanted just to pull over to the side of the road and phone the radio station and give the dear thing my email and phone number. "Have her call me. I can help. Please let me help her because she needs building up after an experience like that."

Divorce is a misery to begin with. You feel rejected and dejected. It's a mess and a mess emotionally.

And now you're back in the dating world. Wouldn't YOU want to know some dating after divorce tips before relaunching yourself into the meet and meat market of dating? Who wouldn't!

Well, here goes.

1. GO SLOW!
Take it easy with yourself. Try some coffee with others. A lunch date, some very casual get-togethers. Do NOT go out on a Saturday night or a Friday night date to gegin with. Those are like PROM night. There is so much pressure at the beginning. You haven't been on a date in years. You will first need to rebuild your dating skill set before venturing out on a Friday or Saturday night date. Please go slowly with yourself and build up some reventuring social skills.

2. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF!
Give yourself time and space to ease back into this. Go simple and easy for your first several dates. Yes DO dress up nicely and look your best, just remember this is not the Opening Night Gala at the San Francisco Opera. So you don't have to dress up to THAT extent. Nor should you be wearing just your jeans, t shirt and Merrels. Something in between. Dressing up and looking your best is part of the practice which you are practicing feeling comfortable doing. Don't stint yourself. Look fabulous. You will FEEL fabulous when you do so.

3. DO DATE LOTS!
OK, when you fall off of a horse, what do they recommend you do? Get right back on. Same thing with dating. When you are looking to learn a new skill, what is one of the most effective learning methodologies? Repetition of fundamentals. Do you just through the ball one time and think you are now good at football? Or do you throw, and throw, and throw, and throw, and THROW! Yes. Precisely. You PRACTICE. Same principle in dating. Go on a LOT of first dates when you first get back in the game. You are simply looking to meet some lovely people and to practice feeling comfortable confident and poised meeting and making small talk with strangers.