How to Overcome the Stress of Shyness

So what if you don't know how to talk to people: who says you have to?

See, one of the big things I have against our society's adaptations and interpretations of 'modern psychology' is this "categorizing" of people. We take things out of context, label people all kinds of names, group them in categories and use their most beautiful assets against them.

Look: you are not a 'shy person' but a person who expresses yourself in a quiet reserved way, which is a little different from most others. Some people are boisterous, some chit-chatty and some are quiet. What's the big deal!? Why should you have to be put in any category?

But forget the categorizing of people for now. I'll demonstrate to you why I believe you are among the people who this world is in dire need of.

As I said before, you're not a "shy" person, you just don't care to be as expressive as some other people.

But you have some powerful assets: you are a damn good listener and you're an extremely good observer. Some people talk, others listen. And what does almost anyone need more than everything? They need to have someone hear what they have to say. They don't need someone to just listen to them: they need someone to really hear them and appreciate them.

People like to be liked, need to be heard and desperately want to be appreciated. Reason why their most favorite subject of conversation is: THEM. That's where you come in as the listener and observer.

Most people are so full of themselves and like the world to know how great they are. This seems to be totally acceptable by our society, since society goes by the majority rules' premise. But the majority's rules SUCK!

Okay, listen to this one. I'll need to side track just a minute here, so bear with me. Have you ever heard of what Henrik Johan Ibsen had to say about "the majority"?

You probably have not a clue who Henrik Johan Ibsen was, do you? You'll love what he had to say though.

Henrik Johan Ibsen was a powerful Norwegian writer. To date, he is held as the greatest Norwegian play writer and author of all times with an outstanding biography. Some say his plays are only second to Shakespeare's.

Earl Nightingale even quoted his saying: "The Majority is Always Wrong!"

I totally agree with Mr. Ibsen: in many ways I am sorry to say - the society is always wrong.

You have such a great advantage as a listener, you know. People who know how to listen, learn the most. Those who apply what they learn become the most respected people in the world. Good leaders are among the people who care to see others progress and be heard.

The opposite is also true: those who manipulate others the hardest, just to get things done their way, become the most repulsive [and often feared] people in the world. For example: bullies.

Need I say more?

Back to you. Regardless of what the society says about you, they need you more than anyone else. Everyone has a need to be heard, yet, there are only a few who care to listen. You are one of the few who do.

When you listen, though, interject some remarks and questions to let the talker that you are intently listening and very interested in what she has to say. Say things like: " Oh my gosh! That must have been awful!" when they tell you about a nasty experience they had. Or, nod and say "Uh-huh" as they to along telling their story.

Focus on them and do it sincerely. Know that THIS is what they want more than anything else: to be heard.

Give them your complete attention. They will love you for it! This way you get to be your quiet self and a caring listener and they get to be heard. This way, everyone is comfortable.

Sometimes it gives a little self esteem boost to know there are famous shy men and women who suffered the same fate you are. Just to let you get a sense of the company you're in, go over the list of celebrities and see with whom you mostly resonate. If you have not seen this list before, you'll be pleasantly shocked, a little surprised, and mostly pleased.

Before you read on, please accept my sincere apologies for not adding your name to this list. Had I known you sooner, no doubt your name would be right here for the world to admire.

This list came from Renée Gilbert, Ph.D's website titled: Shake Your Shyness This is only a little part of a long list Dr. Gilbert has compiled, and I am thankful for all the work that was put into researching this long list of names.

Anyway, here is the list of some famous shy people (minus you) and shy people in history:

Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt,Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Edison, Brad Pitt, Cathy Rigby, David Letterman, Diane Schuur, Donny Osmond, Erin Brockovitch, Gene Hackman, Gloria Estefan, Gloria Estefan, Gloria Estefan, Lucille Ball, Nicole Kidman, Robert De Niro, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks

If you want to see the whole list, go to: Shake Your Shyness and scroll down just a tad. Read what some of those celebs went through and what came of them.

As you practice this, you will become less and less self-conscious about 'being shy' and more aware about "Fulfilling an Important Role in Your World".

Keep up your practice and continuously remind yourself that sometimes, most of the time, we have a hard time accepting each other for what we are and want too much to change the other person into what we think is best for them.

So, from now on, whenever you hear remarks, such as: " Shy people are selfish." don't let it infuriate you, but realize that the very person that said that needs your compassionate ear more than she thinks.

As you practice this way and gently learn to redirect your shyness into a much needed strength, you will notice your stress slowly diminishing and your confidence steadily getting stronger.

In the business world this will greatly benefit you, as you will definitely be able to apply it while you're taking the home study course on Networking and Recruiting for Shy People

I guarantee you that, in little time, you'll have no problem even listening and interacting with strangers - if this is what you're aspiring to do, as you shift your mindset from a 'shy' person to a person who has a compassionate ear for those in need to be heard.

Have fun with this and, hey, drop me a line to tell me how it goes for you.

Now go back to the top or continue reading Networking and Recruiting for Shy People