May we always remember those who lost a loved one on this day 5 years ago. May we soon find out the truth of what really happened on this day and the one's responsible for this action...

I remember the time that I did a wedding on the beach with a nice young couple in their early twenty's. They were married on valentines day, so how romantic is that...?

The bride had mentioned to me that her groom to be was somewhat forgetful. They were dressed in clothes that you would expect in a church wedding. He was in a suit and She was in a beautiful flowing white dress. In the wind, the ladies always fight to keep the hair nice and then give up. a few steps on the sand and off come the fancy shoes of the brides...happens everytime!

After the ceremony was over I told the groom that he was getting married on valentines day and that

HE HAD BETTER NOT EVER - EVER - EVER FORGET HIS WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!

He started laughing....

I put my finger in his face and I said

" Look you had better not ever forget your anniversary"

He laughed even more.

I said to the groom " If you forget your anniversary - you know your wife will kill you"

He continued laughing.....

I said" you know your wife will kill you and she will get an all woman jury at the murder trial"

"The all woman jury will say that you deserved to die and your wife will get off scott free - NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR."

The groom thought that this was Hilarious....

I said " I am not joking" She will kill you, get off scott free and collect your life insurance and find another man"

Hmmm...

some guys just don't get it....

I suppose that He still thinks I was kidding....maybe I should check the obituary section of the newspaper on valentines day....

Bob

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Your wedding day should be a joyous occasion.
I have seen too many wedding where the family fights and it is not too happy. I know why alot of bride's and groom's elope to Florida and get married on the beach.

I have seen bride's and grooms get stressed out and can not even repeat vows to each other.

I always match my behavior to the mood of the wedding. If they are very serious and somber, then I act appropriately.

Formal weddings are usually very serious and I act accordingly.

If the couple are light and playful telling jokes, then I am happy to match the mood of the marriage party.

I always try to put the bride and groom at ease in as many ways as possible.

I try to be one of the first to arrive as there is no sense in stressing the bride by having her worry if the officiant is going to show up....NO OFFICIANT MEANS NO WEDDING!

Church Humor:

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

"Pray" is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).

I met the perfect women once... Sadly, she was looking for the perfect man!!!!!!!!

I have "great" news for you The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Marriage studies findings A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"
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Wine at Weddings

And there should not be any whine at weddings

I am the wedding minister at a rehearsal and was graciously invited to the dinner afterwards.

Someone close to the groom asked me if I wanted a glass of wine, a beer or something harder to drink, as He was buying for the party.

Just as the groom's friend finished asking me for the drink, the groom introduced me to this friend as the chaplain performing the wedding ceremony.

He apologised to me profusely about offending me with the offer of alcohol.

I told him that I attended a Baptist Seminary and that they are strongly against drinking.

I asked the friend of the groom, who offered me a drink, if he knew what the very first recorded miracle of Jesus was in the Holy Bible.

I could see the look in his eyes as he was thinking...

"Great, I offer the wedding preacher a drink, and now He is asking me a Bible question."

I told the groom's friend that the first recorded miracle of Jesus was when Jesus was at the wedding and

JESUS TURNED THE WATER INTO WINE!

The grooms friend did not feel ashamed that He offered me a drink and He thought that the miracle of the wine was awesome.

Humor - Church

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human, because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell?
The little girl replied, Then you ask him.

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
Daddy, what happened to him? the son asked.
He died and went to Heaven, the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
Did God throw him back down?

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor,
When I grow up, I am going to give you some money.
Well, thank you, the pastor replied, but why?
Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had.

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

posted by Chaplain Bob Walker B.Th.

Why the groom wears black

So why does the groom wear black...?

And we are not talking about Johnny Cash, who was known as the man in black.

The Bridal Party was gathered at the church with many guests in attendance.

The Groom and his best man were dressed in black and were standing with the wedding minister at the alter waiting for the bride to appear.

As the wedding march started, the bride appeared in her beautiful white flowing dress.

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,

"Why is the bride dressed in white?"

The mother answered the girl:

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"