Pammy Grammy~All about me

I was born in CA and lived there until the middle of 9th grade. I loved So. Cal. The weather was mostly always glorious. Flowers practically year round. My Dad owned a lawnmower and bike shop. Which makes it even more natural that I was riding my own race bike at 2 years old. Had my first wipe out at 3 lol. (I apparently decided that the fence was NOT needed where it was.) We hosted many 'Poker Runs' in the deserts surrounding, were regulars at Bakersfield (this was before all the fancy tracks they have now).

I had 2 older brothers, and like any little sister I decided from early on that anything they could do I could do, and do it better. Imagine my disappointment when my Dad was the Scout leader and I was told that No, I could not be a Cub Scout or Boy Scout! They let me join the Brownies and then Girl Scouts, but my heart wasn't into it. My Brothers were in the scouts I wanted to be in. They did MUCH funner stuff. Of course I was allowed to help sell Scout-a-rama tickets and things, and always outsold ALL the boys, but they still wouldn't let me join.

On weekends that we didn't have motorcycle runs or Scouts, we liked to go plunking in the desert, hiking in the mountains, camping in either, and sometimes to the beach. I may have lived in the city, but my heart was always happiest in the country. Give me wide open spaces!

When my parents decided we would move, we checked out many places, all out of State. Several of which still stick in my mind with the beautiful forests, snaking rivers or creeks, the smell of freshness. But being in 9th grade and used to all the conveniences of the city and the hours they keep, moving to a small rural town in Arkansas of a couple thousand who just in the past few years got their State Highways paved, didn't have a Cinema Plex of 10 or more movies, where NOTHING was open on a Sunday, and everything closed by 6pm and the town rolled up everything including sidewalks was a true culture shock. Shoot, there was one theater in town that may have seated 50 people and it only showed 1 movie and that was on the weekend. We went once, and within about 2 months it closed and there is still to this day no movie theater in the town!

So you want to grab dinner out? You had 2 choices Sonic or A & W Rootbeer drive in. (And the Sonic wasn't even called Sonic back then.) But hey, being the home to Wal-Mart, they had 2 regular ole Wal-Mart stores. But, like the theater, they closed one down a couple years later.

When I lived in the City, I loved riding the school buses and going on field trips to the Dolly Madison Factory, Buena Vista and other places. But when we moved to the country and had to ride the bus to and from school....it wasn't nearly as fun.

Yes, I liked the country, but this was extreme!

Summer of 2002 I had one son who was 17 and going into Senior year in High School. We lived and survived a lot in his 17 years. We survived having and lost his sister a month before his 2nd Birthday which changed his life and personality dramatically. My then husband, his father, was a control freak who turned easily into an abusive alcoholic. At 16 my son finally convinced me to leave him, and that it would be best for us. By this point my son was living at my parents house and hated seeing me stay in that environment. (It's an eye opening experience to have your child telling you to divorce their other parent!) My parents never knew till long after what was happening in the house, I didn't want to disapoint them. It was Halloween 2001 when we celebrated our divorce. I swore to myself I'd never get into another relationship with a man. (I know....silly.) But a new day was dawning, and I was doing ok.

On our first "date" he was already asking me to marry him. I didn't think he was serious. I could feel there was definitely something there, but gosh, that's moving fast. We've now been married 6 years. My husband is more than a husband, he's my best friend. We enjoy farming together, taking care of the wildlife in the area, making food plots for them, and gardening. My husband is a Bowyer. He makes long bows from scratch. He goes to the woods, selects the tree he wants to use, brings it home and spends so much quality time in making them that a person could think at times that he's married to them. But I know better. He's currently working on one for me. You can look at it and tell that it is a womans bow, so much character and personality. It is custom fit to my small hand.

In 2007 we were involved in an auto accident that changed our lives forever. The safety mechanisms in the vehicle didn't work and as small as I am I was tossed like a rag doll repeatedly to the extent of the seat belts and back many times. At the hospital they did some ex-rays, gave me some meds and told me to check in with my family Doctor in a few days. Come to find out, I'm allergic to the med they gave me.

By Monday I was in so much pain. I went to White Oaks my family Doctor's Office, who tried telling me how normal this is after an accident and all. But when it didn't go away, she started me putting me on different meds, and sent me to a "Specialist". What a horror, they made us wait 2 1/2 hours in the waiting room, then put us in the exam room where we waited...and waited....and finally I was so upset, I opened the room to catch the next person by to see what the hold up was. What I saw was that it was quitting time, most of the staff already left, and we found out what a quack the Dr was quickly!

Over the next year I was poked, prodded, stuck, ex-rayed, MRI'd....my husband said as many as I had I should be glowing. I also went from being an extremely energetic person able to do anything, to living in a state of total exhaustion having walking become a challenge to me. I was forgetting things, not being able to focus mentally, my arms and hands were numb and tingly all the time and would sometimes lose function. This was particularly unfortunate one morning as I went to get out of bed, arms went limb and I fell cracking 5 ribs in 2 places.

I was sent to the Pain Clinic where they injected me in the back of the skull and into the nerves and spinal column, but that didn't help. I was sent to the major physical therapy clinic to be assessed for rehab and was told that the condition my body is in and all my conditions I'm not a candidate for physical therapy. That was hard to hear, but I had noticed I couldn't pick things up like I used to or move around like I used to. It was a shock when my Doctor pointed out that mentally I could never hold a job again. I can't even count money.

They were giving me muscle relaxers and meds for pain. I'd feel better, but it made it so I would think I was 'ok' and do something and end up hurting myself. Due to the combinations and many different types of meds/injections, I gained over 125 pounds. I was working with my Doctor on all this, and she seemed to really care about what I was going through, but at the time wasn't nearly as concerned with my swelling and weight gain as I was. I felt like a beached whale. I was getting nowhere and I kept being sent to more and more 'specialists' but none could do anything. The last straw was when the Doctors Office got a new Doctor in and before I could continue with the one I was seeing, I had to see the new one. I had a 3 1/2 hour wait. Another person who was waiting went to get a drink across the street and brought me a coke as well. It wasn't too long until I was taken to the back. Before she looked at my chart or how I've been being treated, I was explaining that my Dr wanted me to talk to her about my weight and swelling issues as well as my pain meds. This Doctor cut me off and told me I'm fat and lazy and need to exercise and get my fat lazy (you know what) off the couch and do something. Said that I couldn't sit around drinking pop and eating all the time (which I don't do at home, this coke was my first in I couldn't say how long). Told me no more pain meds, no muscle relaxers, and no treatment to help. She didn't believe in Fibromyalgia and called it a Medical cop out. Yes, I turned her in to the Owners of this Medical Chain, but my report fell on deaf ears. I did lots and lots of research to find a new Dr.

When the Doctors started to give me bits and pieces of answers, I started to look things up online. I spent so much time searching the web. Looking everywhere possible to get answers. I am the kind of person that wants to "know" what I have. I feel once I know, I can figure things out and figure out what to do about it, how to handle it.

I had a few people tell me that what I was experiencing was along the lines of Fibromyalgia, but that I had a lot more going on that just that. They were right. I asked for over 5 months if they were leaning in the direction of Fibromyalgia, because so many of my symptoms pointed towards it. Finally after months of this, and the Specialists all talking 'around' me to my husband, and sending me to a Psychologist to see why I "Thought" I was in pain, I found out that yes, they were leaning that way. I had exams with 3 Doctors one day. Each of them pushed on me in places that were so tender and hurt so much. I found out they are the trigger points they check for when concreting down Fibromyalgia. So from that day on I knew with certainty that was what I had. None of the Doctors had conferred with the others and all came to the same conclusion. I was diagnosed finally with Fibro, Chronic Pain Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Scoliosis, PTSD, IBS-C, Tremors, Joint Issues, Nerve Issues, a Paraumbilical Hernia, a Cyst on one kidney from them bleeding so long, Severe Whiplash, Chronic Migraines, My muscles are always in tight knots, can't sit, stand walk or lay long, RLS, Night Terrors, Chronic Depression, Herniated, Compressed and Buldging Disks, Myofascial Pain, Insulin Resistance, I now have Chronic Sleep Apnea but the C-Pap won't work for me, I have to use the Bi-Pap.....and the list goes on. A bad one that I have to work hard on is swelling. My legs, ankles and feet will swell so much when I walk it feels like the skin is splitting and I can't bend my ankles or knees. My hands get so bad I can't make a fist, my fingertips won't even meet my hand at all. It has been a long road, for me, my husband and my family.

I can see what they 'say' a person with Fibromyaliga can't do, where it hurts, common other conditions that go along with it. And I know I have a whole list of conditions I deal with everyday. If I listened to the Doctors and Specialists though I'd never be out of bed. I have always been an active person, and I was not taking this lightly. It was hard enough getting used to the things my BODY would let me know I couldn't do any longer, but to read it, and have the Doctors confirm it, that made it so real. According to all the information I had I wouldn't be doing anything. I can't even stand to take it easy with the flu or something and that's a week, how will I do it FOREVER? So I determined to myself that from this day on I would challenge myself. Whether it be weekly or daily, I would not let these conditions win over my life. I kept researching. Finally I came to the conclusion that finding information relevant to Fibromyalgia that was informative was hard to find.

There are Doctors, and then there are Doctors. Some you know immediately that you don't like them, and yet a small few you just know immediately when you meet them for the first time that they are it, the perfect Doctor for you. You are able to take a deep sigh of relief, the search is over!

When I was taken in to the Exam room, I was visiting with the Nurse and found out that her husband has Fibromyalgia and gets treated by the Doctor there. When the Doctor came in a few minutes later, we visited and he asked if I'm really on all the meds listed. I unhappily said yes. He told me that would be our first task, getting me off all those meds. That sounded great to us. We got set on a plan of action and all agreed that if there is any way possible, I want to have my pain controlled by means other than narcotics. My Doctor has lived up to all my expectations and wishes in a Doctor.When I started seeing him I was on over 30 medicines, now I'm on 6. One for Blood Pressure, one for a vitamin K deficiency, one for my osteopenia, one for my blood insulin issue....you can see that I am now only on 2 medicines for my Fibromyalgia!!

One day I was thinking about all the information I was able to come across, and how much I've always liked to research things (especially when I'm actually finding what I'm looking for) and came to the conclusion that as stressful as it was for me to find answers, I was sure I wasn't alone. I began working on a site to help people find answers. Not just for Fibromyalgia, but also for other things they term "invisible illnesses". It is constantly a work in progress as I add new information and things.

Something I found really helpful was a support group online where others actually have the same things and you can talk with them and share stories, helps, and all kinds of information. I have a link for this also on the web site. I have found lots of relief, a peace of sorts to see that I'm not the only one dealing with this. I enjoy talking to people. I love to help people. I have found that even though I didn't realize it I do have a lot of good information to pass on to fellow sufferers as well as their families and friends. I have been so blessed with emails from people about this, that makes it so rewarding to me.

I have an online Store with Cafe Press to help pay the costs on keeping the site open. I make no money off this. Anything over operating cost I will be forwarding for further research to help to find a cure. That link is also on the web site. Here is the link to the web site for help and info: InvisABLE Illness