Parental Alienation

Take Care of Yourself:

Tend to your own physical, emotional and mental health needs.

Why?

You need to be of sound mind and body to be there for your kids.

This also represents 'modeling', a term used to describe setting a
good example for your children - In turn they will learn

To take care of themselves
That, they too, can handle difficult situations as adults

Parental alienation is a social dynamic, generally occurring due to divorce or separation, when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible.

These feelings may be influenced by negative comments by the other parent and by the characteristics, such as lack of empathy and warmth, of the rejected parent. The term does not apply in cases of actual child abuse, when the child rejects the abusing parent to protect themselves.

Parental alienation is controversial in legal and mental health professions, both generally and in specific situations.[1] Terms related to parental alienation include child alienation, pathological alignments, visitation refusal, pathological alienation, the toxic parent and parental alienation syndrome[2] though the last term is a specific formulation of a medical syndrome proposed by psychiatrist Richard Gardner that is not well accepted

Pain
Heartbreak
Depression
Even suicide has been linked to parental alienation

PLEASE seek emotional support and clarity as this action represents 'taking care of yourself', a very important element to incorporate into your life.

Joining a Support Group, A Men's group, A Women's group or Divorce support group can prove extremely beneficial, for you and ultimately your child/ren

1. Anger is a common reaction of many children to the process of alienation.
2. Loss or a lack of impulse control in conduct/ behavior
3. Loss of self confidence and self esteem.
4. Clinging and separation anxiety.
5. Developing fears and phobias.
6. Depression and suicidal ideation.
7. Sleep disorders
8. Eating disorders.
9. Educational problems.
10. Enuresis and Encopresis.
11. Drug abuse and self destructive behavior
12. Obsessive compulsive behavior.
13. Anxiety and panic attacks a
14. Damaged sexual identity problems.
15. Poor peer relationships
16. Excessive feelings of guilt.

MAINTAIN CLEAR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES -

This will help protect against the influences of the alienating parent.

Find A Way To STOP FEELING INTIMIDATED BY THE ALIENATING PARENT -

The alienating parent gets their power from frightening, threatening and intimidating the targeted parent.

FOCUS ON ALTERING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR AND NOT THAT OF THE ALIENATING PARENT -

When the targeted parent makes small changes such as not accepting phone calls from the alienating parent, that in itself may help mediate some of their negatives influences.

BECOME PROACTIVE RATHER THAN REACTIVE TO THE ALIENATING PARENT'S BEHAVIOR -

Many targeted parents invest tremendous energy and time in attempts to convince the alienating parent that what they are doing is harmful and unfair to the children and themselves. This is a complete waste and in most cases, it actually makes things worse because it provides more opportunities to create conflict.

FOCUS ON YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR AND NOT THAT OF THE ALIENATING PARENT -

By making changes in how you respond or react to the alienating parent, this in turn will have a direct impact on the alienating parent. For example, if you limit contact with the alienating parent and reframe from responding to threats and criticisms, this will limit the power the alienating parent will have.

KEEP BEING A PARENT -

Do not succumb to pressures to overlook childrens poor or inappropriate behavior. Be loving, consistent and firm in your expectations of your children.

Remain even-tempered, logical and keep your emotions under control. Never retaliate. A person who reacts in anger is proving the alienator's point that he or she is unstable.

Don't live a victim's life

Persevere in demonstrating that you are rational, reasonable, and have the best interest of the children at heart.

Always call or show up to pick up the children, even if you knew that the children won't be there. This is often very painful, but then you would document that you tried, when the alienator alleged that this parent had no interest in the child.

Having thoughts of giving up is not uncommon - stay the course

Help from a skilled family lawyer who has experience with parent alienation syndrome is good advise

Keep a diary or journal of key events, describing what happened and when.

Focus on enjoying your childrens company

Recognize and Understand -

Coping with parental alienation syndrome is a challenge there is no guarantee that your efforts will be successful.

Stay or Leave?

However, to completely walk out of your childrens lives not only makes the alienating parent's efforts a success but more importantly, it leaves your children completely devoid of the love they deserve (even if they are not in a position to receive it).

Just For Right Now

Everything changes, nothing stays the same. Try viewing your current difficulties and struggles as being Just For Right Now. Things won't always be this way because change is inevitable.