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Pip Penguin

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Pip Penguin Aprentice Geek and Journalist

Pip the penguin is a reformed time travelling evil dictator. He is also a penguin.

These days he spends time with his human companion Lord Matt who is teaching him the way of the geek reporter.

This is te story of Pip's first days with Matt and some of the things that Matt learned about Pengins.

Pip is a happy ninja penguin these days but once... 

Pip is a happy ninja penguin these days...

however, once pip was not a happy panguin

When Pip first arrived in the Lord Matt's home he was a pickle of the highest order. I had a hard time getting him under control and those first few weeks were not so much fun.

Without so much as an instruction manual or care plan Pip has been thrust into my life and I have determined to train my young apprentice well. With any luck Pip can do all the hard work and I can relax before the December IntFeLoMa 2009

That was my plan anyway...

We'd not been back long when I discovered that I might have to feed the apprentice. He was caught red handed in the kitchen stealing the banana chips.

Who knew penguins loved bananas?

Gotcha! Found my penguin stealing my food. 

Feeding Penguins

Penguins are actually very fussy eaters. You can't just give 'em a fish and leave to get on with it.

Later that same day my penguin got itself stuck. 

Not so long later I found Pip raiding the fridge again. Naughty penguin! 

Naughty Penguin

Stealing beer from my fridge

That was not the end of the penguin problems. After nodding off I noticed an absence of sound and went to investigate - Pip was after my beer now!

That naughty penguin was going to be a very sorry penguin if he did not leave my food alone.

I put all the food back and muttering about baked penguin I set about cooking some penguin friendly food. Now normal "wild" penguins have simple tastes and like to eat things like prawns and herring. Penguins that have, in their personal past, taken up time travel tend to have rather more complex tastes.

I thought my children were fussy but that's nothing compared to cooking for this penguin.

I finally produced a Chicken, Tomato and Chilli Pepper Soup and went to find out if this met with Pip's fussy tastes. I had my doubts as Pip likes to eat Chocolate and little else (this is probably why he is so tubby).

A short search located Pip in the bathroom with the cordless phone. The naughty little penguin was making long distance calls to cousins in Antarctica.

That explains the phone bills.

Penguin phone habits are expensive 

Penguin owners must be aware of their tendancy to party with friends 

Penguins Like to Party

Penguins are used to gathering in groups of thousands for outdoor raves in deserted locations. This habit leads them to throw big parties and call them "small gatherings".

Then I found Pip the Penguin stealing my wine gums!!! 

Pip tried to hide but I was on to him 

I tried to grab him but he made a break for it over the dishes 

Penguins - good on ice

but rubbish on dishes, it seems

Captured! I threatened Pip with becoming baked Penguin with apple! 

At last I was able to give my naughty penguin a good talking to! 

However, Pip ran and hid in a box. 

Ninja Penguin Fact

The penguin might be a ninja but it is still a penguin! Penguins are useless at hide and seek.

Pip did not know that I could still see him. 

So I flipped the box over and left a wieght on top. 

Later on Pip Penguin even offered to paint me a picture to say sorry 

Sorted the penguin out!

That braught that round of naughtiness to a close

This might have stopped Pip from eating my sweats but I had to do something about his misbehaviour.

It turns out that city penguins like to have clothes (or at least accessories)so humans can tell them apart. So I secretly sent off for a few items.

A penguin admiring himself in the mirror is unable to get into trouble 

Penguin Eyesight

It turns out that penguins have great night vision and so don't bother about things like lights.

However penguins still like to party and this time he made off with the beer. 

Apparently penguin hangovers are particularly bad. This was the last naughtiness for a long time. 

When the rest of his outfit arrived Pip swore to me that he would be a good apprentice 

Pip's Links

Pip Penguin on Facebook
Pip's facebook page - become a facebook fan of Pip right now.
Pip Penguin (PipPenguin) on Twitter
Twitter is a free social messaging utility for staying connected in real-time

Pip likes other twitter users to talk about him #PipPenguin 

Penguin Ego

Penguins love to be talked about almost as much as they love chocolate sushi.

“Feel the chocolatey goodness of the conversational madness”

Pip will make a fine blogger one day 

Mentions of Pip Penguin

Sorry, there are no matching results available from Google

The peace didn't last forever - Pip discovered cactusses are sharp! 

Penguin Ears

Penguin ears are hidden. They are not very good at listening to instructions.

Pip had to pay a visit to the nurse 

I'm not sure how impressed Pip was with the style of care 

Poor Pip has now learned about aggressive vegitation the hard way. 

Pip thanks you for reading and hopes to see you about soon. 

by

LordMatt

My name is Matt. I am also known as Lord Matt which is due to a long joke that probably is not funny enough to share anymore. I own my own business and... more »

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