Surviving Emotions

Rating: 1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic (by 19 people)   Your rating: 1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic

WHEN YOU ARE READY

Moving toward feeling better

While in the midst of an emotional meltdown or crisis, struggling with a new & troubling issue or the re-ocurrance of a chronic issue - it is common to feel hopeless or helpless. What may help is talking with someone about what is going on... a trusted friend, family member or professional (therapist, clergy, doctor...)

This provides the opportunity to partially "release" the grip the situation has on you and allow room for hope. Hope, options and choices, along with identifying things you can "do" all play an important role in shifting from feeling hopeless to feeling better, and even hopeful.

 

FREE COUNSELING FOR METROLINK ACCIDENT - TRAUMA 

For anyone suffering in the aftermath of this terrible tragedy

Ashley is offering 8 free sessions to individuals and their families affected by the recent Metrolink accident.

(805) 484-7868 EXT 8#

 

SEEKING SUPPORT 

THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN SEEKING SUPPORT

You want to look for someone trained in dealing with emotional issues this would include an MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist) as MFT's are specially trained in these areas. Be realistic, acknowledge that not every person you meet may not instantly be a good fit. Give it a chance 3-5 sessions minimum, is my recommendation. If you find that it is not a good fit, discuss this in what you deem to be your final session and ask for referrals (you can expect 3 referrals).

It's not you, it was just not a good match.

What is NOT OK when it comes to the client/therapist working relationship includes;

Any sexual or romantic gestures and
breaking confidentiality, to name just two big issues.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR:

*Feeling comfortable and safe
*Feeling Heard and Understood
*Getting your needs met; learning, discovering, understanding, self awareness, options...

For anyone suffering from emotional pain, if you are in the vacinity of Ventura County, California you can call Ashley's office for a FREE assessment - mention Squidoo.
805-484-7868 ext 8#.

In other areas and for other options - check with your health insurance, try dialing 211, a trusted friend or your primary care doctor all of whom may be able to provide you with the information you need.

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Webfetti.com

ANXIETY 

The Anxiety Wheel

One can be suffering with anxiety and not be fully aware of it.

HOW CAN THIS BE?

Do you or a loved one have a habit of counting, picking, checking and rechecking, always cleaning or struggle in social situations or driving, maybe leaving the house? What do your closets look like, extremely organized? Ever feel detached, like you're outside of yourself?

These can often be attributed to anxiety.
Have you ever been called a "worrier", struggle with insomnia or depression? There are also physical symptoms associated with anxiety.

Anxiety can reek havoc on our physical well being, weaken our immune systems, heart muscle and other vital organs.

It's not uncommon for individuals suffering from various forms of anxiety and even depression to turn to 'self medicating'. This may take the form of alcohol and or drugs, self destructive patterns of behavior and negative self talk.

To have a quiet mind, what might that be like and how can you achieve this - It is possible!

Focusing on one thing helps calm the mind, it does take practice to train your mind to focus. Breathing can be a good focal point.
(This was copied from another of my lenses at:Squidoo.com/AshleyBrettingMS)

For further help, support or guidance you may want to consider joining a support group, I facilitate several in the Ventura, CA area. Or you may contact your local social services agency.

Ashley Bretting, M.S.
Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Intern #IMF51514
Supervised by Lynn M. Jones, Ph.D.
Lic # MFC021739
Morbrook Institute A non-profit agency
in collaboration with Camarillo Health Care District

(805) 204-7315 (Cell)

AshleyBretting.com

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Webfetti.com

RELAXING 

As we grow older and carry the burdens of every day life on our shoulders - we often forget to take time to relax. Often we need to 'learn to relax'.

 

Self Talk

OMG - You Talk To Yourself?!?

Yes, we all do.

Becoming 'aware' of our self talk is a BIG start in changing how we are in the world and how we feel about ourselves

WHAT IS SELF TALK? 

Self-talk is our internal dialog - the words we use when we talk to ourselves, Reflecting and creating our emotional states.

You can feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. Your self-talk can influence your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, relationships with others and how you experience life. It can even affect your health, determining, for example, how you handle stressful events, or how easily you replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

Examples of change:

Focusing only on problems: This is the essence of complaining. We dwell on the problem, instead of solutions. Instead: Assume most problems have solutions, and ask "How do I want this situation to be different?"

Catastrophizing: Every bad thing that happens is a horrible disaster. Instead: Be realistic in your assessment and stop scaring yourself. Yes, bad things do happen, and many bad things are often inconveniences, mistakes, and foul-ups---not necessarily traumas, tragedies, or disasters.

Expecting the worst: "What if he doesn't like me?" "What if I don't pass the exam?" Expecting the worst does not encourage you to behave effectively. Expecting the worst only promotes anxiety. Instead: Ask questions that presuppose positive outcomes. "How can I make a favorable impression?" "How can I prepare for the exam?"

Stereotyping: By putting others, and ourselves, into preconceived categories, we avoid thinking of people as unique individuals. This leads to strained relationships, and gives us an undeserved sense of superiority or inferiority. It also often deprives us of opportunities to know and understand the giftedness of those whom we stereotype. Instead: Remind yourself that we are all human beings, with unique personalities, each having qualities and shortcomings.

Shoulds: Should, ought, must, have to... used carelessly, these words presuppose rules and standards for behavior that do not exist in reality. They imply a consequence for noncompliance, and often evoke quilt. For example, according to the law, we "should" obey posted speed limits, or pay a fine. Is it equally true that "I should be smarter than I am." or "I ought to be married by now."?--Of course not! Instead: Replace the words should, ought, or must with the word "COULD" and realize the gift of choices.

Thinking in Absolutes: We exaggerate reality with words like "always," "never," and "everyone," as in "I always eat too much--I will never be slim." Instead: Replace exaggeration with words that more accurately reflect reality. Example "I often eat more than I need, but I can change that."

All or Nothing Thinking: We distort reality by thinking only in extremes. Our efforts become total failures or complete successes---with nothing in between. Example: "Either I lose two pounds by Sunday, or I quit exercising." Instead: Chunk down your perceptions to see the parts of the whole, which can be positive, negative, and in-between. Give yourself options or choices whenever possible. Example: "I want to lose two pounds by Sunday. Even one pound would indicate that exercise is helping. If my weight stays the same, I'll experiment with variations in nutrition and exercise until I reach my goal."

Negative labels: Negative labels are the tools we use to lower self-esteem in ourselves and others. Example: "I'm stupid," or "I'm fat." When we say phrases like these often, they become a part of our identity and we can begin to dislike who we are. Instead: Remember, people are not their faults or shortcomings. You may engage in stupid behavior occasionally, but that doesn't make you a stupid person. Change your negative "I-am" statement into a statement about behaviors. Example: "I make unhealthy choices when it comes to food." It's easier to change a behavior, than to change your identity.

Blaming: We assign guilt, instead of solving the problem. If we can blame others, then we can feel vindicated in a wrong-doing, and avoid responsibility. Instead: Focus on what YOU can do to promote a solution to the problem.

"Yes but..." Arguments: When someone offers a possible solution to our problems, we "yes but..." and list reasons why the proposed solution won't work. "Yes but..." says "I'm really not listening to you right now." Instead: Open up to new possibilities and consider alternatives. Really listen to advice and give it a fair hearing, before dismissing it so quickly.

Overgeneralizing: This is similar to stereotyping and thinking in absolutes. It means that we take a single instance or occurrence, and generalize it to numerous other situations. Example: "Joe is a nice man, and he doesn't want to date me. Therefore: No nice man will ever want to date me." When misused, this kind of generalizing can lead to illogical conclusions. Instead: Ask yourself whether there could be exceptions to your generalization. Does a single occurrence mean it will happen every time?

Now you know what negative self-talk sounds like. Negative self-talk is usually a mixture of half-truths, poor logic, and distortions of reality that perpetuates negative emotions, such as pessimism, guilt, fear, and anxiety. It often occurs when in times of emotional turmoil, or when we are going through stress or a personal transition.

When you catch your negative self-talk, take a deep breath, relax, and remove yourself from the situation. Get up and stretch, or take a walk, or get a drink of water, in order to interrupt your train of thought and get out of the negative rut. Write down some of your negative thoughts and then ask yourself "Are the things I'm saying true? Are there other possibilities and meanings that I could get from these circumstances?" Then replace your negative thoughts with realistic, positive thoughts---and write those down too. Soon you'll stop that self-talk in mid-sentence.

If you need help with your own self talk - I am happy to provided you the opportunity to explore this more thoroughly.

 

SLEEP 

Up to about one-third of the population have symptoms of insomnia.

Lack of sleep can become a chronic problem or a once in a while event. Not getting enough sleep can have devastating effects on one's cognitive (thinking/ reasoning) abilities as well as emotional and physical well being.

Sleep problems, unable to quiet your mind, depression and physical upset can often be attributed to uncontrolled anxiety. To have a quiet mind means everything to the individual suffering from sleepless nights.

SLEEP HYGIENE 

An odd phrase with a powerful punch

Looking at your bedtime habits may reveal why sleep is elusive. Here are a few strategies to help improve your chances of getting a good nights sleep:

Dim the lights an hour before bedtime, this can help trigger the brain that "rest time" is approaching

Resist watching t.v. in bed

Avoid eating/ snacking in bed

Only use your bed for sex and sleep

Listen to some relaxing music

A warm bath or shower helps some individuals

Make yourself a nice warm cup of tea (decaffeinated)

Focusing on one thing helps calm the mind, it does take practice to train your mind to focus...

Breathing can be a good focal point, for further help and individualized strategies make an appointment for your free assessment.

Ashley Bretting, M.S.
Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Intern #IMF51514
Supervised by Lynn M. Jones, Ph.D.
Lic # MFC021739
Morbrook Institute A non-profit agency
in collaboration with Camarillo Health Care District

Cell: (805) 204-7315
Office: (805) 484-7868 ext 8#
www.ashleybretting.com

SLEEP STUDIES 

If you wake early, have trouble falling asleep, feel sluggish throughout your day these may signs of insomnia. What is going on? While our emotional state plays a significant role in how we sleep, it is good to rule out any physical causes such as sleep apnea (Sleep apnea is when breathing is disrupted).

Which came first?
Tricky question - Emotional struggles can interfere with sleep, on the other hand, lack of proper sleep can create changes in mood.

You may consider asking your doctor for a referral to a sleep study.

Where is the Sandman? 

You know yourself better than anyone!

Have you fallen into bad habits that interfere with your peaceful slumber, or are working the night shift? Is your inner clock off? Does your mind not want to shut off?

Maybe sleep hygiene is something worth checking out below, if this sounds like you.

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GRIEF & LOSS 

A Normal Life Process

At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.

Five Stages Of Grief

1. Denial
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

2. Anger
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

3. Bargaining
The grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

4. Depression
Feeling down, numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

5. Acceptance
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Grief And Stress - During periods of grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings: sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt.

Denying ourself these feelings, failing to work through the different stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them.

Help is available to assist you through this difficult time. (805) 204-7315

The Most Important Thing

Be Kind To Yourself
Because You Matter!


- Ashley

 

SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER 

Is it me or is it the time of year?



While Autumn is a favorite time of year for many, it is often associated with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

What is SAD? It is a reaction to the onset of shorter days and less available sunlight. This can be associated with a biological reaction often resulting in low mood, lethargy, depression and more. Geographic areas that experience few sunny days and rainy regions (Seattle, Washington for example) can result in a higher population with similar symptoms.

There is help and guidance, contact me or a local professional for further assistance.

Take This Poll - Just For Fun 

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Helpful Books Focusing On Emotional Issues 

Self education is always a good thing!

Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick by David Carbonell

Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick by David Carbonell

With methods and exercises based on the author's e more...0 points

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook by Glenn R. Schiraldi

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook by Glenn R. Schiraldi

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Coping With OCD: Practical Strategies for Living Well With Obsessive-compulsive Disorder by Bruce M., Ph.D. Hyman, Troy Dufrene

Coping With OCD: Practical Strategies for Living Well With Obsessive-compulsive Disorder by Bruce M., Ph.D. Hyman, Troy Dufrene

Do you know about the Doomsayer? He's the guy dres more...0 points

Your Opportunity To Interact 

Providing ideas to help other readers

Whether it is a panic attack or anxiety - Other readers who may be suffering from similar symptoms may find some relief in the examples you provide.

HOW DO YOU COPE/ MANAGE YOUR ANXIETY?

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Most helpful to me

getbackup says:

I don't manage it very well sometimes. I do on the outside, but now how I feel on the inside. I have a drink, clean, talk to myself or my husband.

nvmommyx6 says:

Breathing, quietly thinking on places and things, times or people who were calming to me, and peaceful to me!

AshleyBretting-M.S. says:

Deep breathing

Heard of but never tired

camilla says:

yoga and meditation

 
 
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Bipolar - Up's and Down's  

Bipolar (Manic Depression)

Bipolar is a psychological disorder affecting an estimated 6 percent of the population. Bipolar disorder equally affects people of all races and backgrounds.

What is Bipolar ?

An imbalance of hormones (seratonin, noradrenline and
dopamine. There is a strong genetic link which most often can be traced back to a parent or grand-parent.
Bipolar disorder is a condition in which periods of extreme euphoria, called mania,alternate with periods of severe depression. Bipolar disorder is sometimes also called manic depression.

Diagnoses

Diagnoses is difficult and on average takes 8 years after initial consultation. One reason for this is that the afflicated rarely seek medical intervention when in a "Manic State". Medical help is generally sort during a "Depressive State" when antidepressive medication is prescribed. Unfortunately, antidepressants can initiate a manic episode and cause a cycle of mania/depression.
During a manic episode, an overwhelming feeling of wellbeing is experienced but judgement is impaired. Instances of overspending, sexual infidelity, gambling and eratic sleep patterns occur.

Treatment.

Bipolar can be managed with medication, psychological treatment and caring from family and friends.
Medications can consist of: anti-psychotics, mood stablizers and antidepressants. Reaching the correct balance of drugs is usually difficult but can be achieved within 2 months providing correct doses are prescribed.

Prognosis

The prognosis today is extremely better than previous times because the stigma of the disease is deminishing.
Early intervention by a Psychiatrist will alleviate an enormous amount of pain and suffering.

Summary

Bipolar can be managed but not cured. Sufferers can live a rewarding life. Education, acceptance and early medical intervention are keynotes for the best management practices of Bipolar Disorder.

CLINICAL TRIALS - NATIONWIDE 

Know someone who may benefit from a new investigational treatment? Maybe you're just curious to see what new horizons are being explored in the medical field...



ClinicalConnection.com

Clinicaltrials.gov

Centerwatch.com

Clinicaltrials.ucla.edu

Gift Ideas 

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To Twitter Or Not To Twitter 

You decide

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    Books That May Provide Some Insight Into How Ashley Works. May also be helpful for you or a loved one 

    Emotional Enlightenment Through Knowledge

    Ashley use an eclectic approach to counseling based on what each individual needs.

    Ashley typically employs the Cognitive Behavioral approach in general, finding it more "hands on" and interactive in terms of assigning clients, assigning homework, active participation and more. Ashley doesn't believe in just sitting back and nodding her head for a 50 minute session.

    While these books may or may not address your particular issues, Ashley wanted to provide you with some immediate resources.

    The Client's Guide to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: How to Live a Healthy, Happy Life...No Matter What!

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    DVD's and CD's 

    Don't care much for reading?
    That's ok!

    Journey of Loss... Discovery of Hope - Volume 1

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    Peace: Pure Classical Calm

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    Men Get Depression

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    LAUGHTER IS HEALING 

    Never underestimate the power of laughter. If we can find the humor in everyday life and the silly, sometimes dumb things we do - it can lighten our load and be uplifting... knowing that we all have blond moments or as I like to call them "I Love Lucy Moments".

    Some of my own can be found at the lens listed below, I hope they make you smile :)

    squidoo.com/EverydayHumor

    CafePress Funny Mental Health Stuff 

    Copy & Paste into browser for Mental Health products and funnies

    Copy and paste this link

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    Places I visit 

    Houndsville: A place for dogs
    Do you share your life with dogs?
    Interesting intel by Ashley & others - Qassia United States
    Example: About 1,000 children from Ventura County will be involved in an unprecedented study that monitors their health from before they're born - before s
    Laughs & Giggles
    Need a smile? Get one here.
    Technorati Favorites
    Technorati - Why? I forget!
    UBDGKSSYUVNH
    .

     

    Describe your day to day life: 

    This was my own response to the following question

    Describe your day to day life:

    I wake each day of late, with joy and purpose - this was not always the case.

    I bring hope and reason to the distraught and disillusioned, offer to hold anothers pain while they are in the room - giving them a rest and reprieve from from their burdens and hurt, their shame or guilt and whatever else they carry in their heart & soul.

    I've found my purpose, am living my dream, experience incredible joy when my clients are healing and feel blessed for all that I have survived to be here for them.

    Strange how life works out, isn't it...



    Ashley B 22-Oct-2008

    Go Play 

    Online games

    Go Play, have some fun, enjoy your life!

    Live Search Club is a new way to play fun online casual games and earn great prizes! We're changing the game so that everybody wins!

    EXPLORE MORE! ...by Ashley 

    Various Postings & Useful Links

    WARNING: THESE LINKS WILL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM THIS PAGE.

    You can "right click" to open a link in a new window or tab. Better yet, save this page so you can return for updates and news.

    Ashley's Published Materials - Newspaper
    Ventura County Star Newspaper - local newspaper articles and listing that may be of some help.
    http://www.venturacountystar.com/search/?q=ASHLEY+BRETTING
    My Official Blog
    My Official Blog
    Seeing the humor in everyday life can make a difference in how we experience the world around us
    Random things that happen, quirky experiences and a funny perspective by Ashley Bretting
    Twitter
    Have you ever Twittered?
    You can follow me on Twitter my name there is PSYCHOTHERAPI. Easier yet, scroll down to a direct Twitter link marked "Follow Psychotherapi"
    Welcome to PPARx.org
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    Topic: Perscription help
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    Topic: You & Your Mental Health By Ashley Bretting
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    Topic: Mental Health Weblog
    Newest Work In Progress
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    Facebook
    Topic: Social Network Site
    LIMITED INFO HERE by Ashley Bretting
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    Ventura Star newspaper blog and articles
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    Online Games
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    YOUR INVITATION TO COMMENT 

    The last thing to see here - you're invited to add your comment

    Please vote for this lens if you found it helpful in anyway.

    When you click "next page", you will see more comments

    Frankster wrote...

    Excellent lens. Thanks for sharing this valuable information and great resources. 5 stars! Bear hugs, Frankster

    ReplyPosted November 24, 2008

    Lensmaster

    Camilla wrote

    love this lens

    Reply Posted November 20, 2008

    rms wrote...

    Wow, thank you for sharing this important info!

    ReplyPosted November 19, 2008

    AshleyBretting-M.S. wrote...

    in reply to getbackup Thank you :)

    ReplyPosted November 14, 2008

     
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