Surviving Anxiety, Depression & More

HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF THIS QUESTION?

Let's look at what you are doing to take care of yourself, we all need to take care of ourselves not just those with emotional upset.

* Are you receiving the support you deserve?
* Are you using the appropriate tools? Do you have tools to use?
* Are you choosing to feel this way? And if so, how does this benefit you?
* Is it time to consider an Rx or have your Rx re-evaluated?
* Could updating your coping skills be of benefit?

A therapist is there to provide: support, perspective, tools, healthy coping skills and more. Your job is to put into practice what you are learning and discovering.

I am happy to report that the recent launch of 805Therapy.com
is proving to be a new and exciting success

http://www.805Therapy.com

Loneliness is a state of mind, being alone is in relation to the physical proximity of others. For those struggling with loneliness, you know what it feels like to be in a relationship or room full of people and still feel lonely.

Contributors to that lonely feeling include:

Negative self talk
Low mood or depression
Poor self esteem
Difficulty adjusting ( to a loss )
Grief
Isolating

What can you do?
It is important to combat tate negative self talk, get a check-up with your physician to rule out and underlying medical issues that may be contributing to your low mood or depression, and consider joining a therapeutic support group or individual counseling. This is a means in which to explore many other options that help combat loneliness and begin to feel better and connected. It takes work and you are worthy of the effort!

What is available
In terms of groups:: Men's Group, Women's Group, Anxiety & Depression Group and more!

*Free initial assessment and affordable group fees. Camarillo, CA

Ashley Bretting, M.S.
Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Intern #IMF51514
Supervised by Lynn M. Jones, Ph.D.
Lic # MFC021739
Morbrook Institute A non-profit agency
in collaboration with Camarillo Health Care District

(805) 204-7315

AshleyBretting.com

*Limitations apply to this offer, as outlined on AshleyBretting.com

To Find Joy in your Solitude Is A Worthy Accomplishment.

Suicide is a permanent action in response to a temporary problem.

Yes, difficult economic times such as these can have a profound effect on our emotional well being. Suicide is not the solution.

Recent and ongoing news coverage of suicide and family massacres, may be caused by feeling fearful about the future. Help is available!

Depressed, despair, seeing no way out, feeling hopeless, riddled with anxiety?
Support, guidance and a safe therapeutic support group can help with these overriding emotions.Please consider this alternative before taking drastic, irreversible measures.

Weather Economic Storm Together (W.E.S.T. Support Group)
*Free Initial Consultation & Affordable Group Fees

(805) 204-7315 Camarillo, CA

*Limitations apply to this offer, as outlined at AshleyBretting.com

Ashley continues to provide 8 free sessions to individuals and their families affected by the September 2008 Metrolink accident.

This was a traumatic, life changing event for all involved, either directly or indirectly. Time and talk therapy that addresses post traumatic stress may be just what you need. You may also want to consider the use of an appropriate medication, however this is not a requirement for this free service.

(805) 204-7315
(805) 484-7868 EXT 8#

AshleyBretting.com

THINGS TO CONSIDER

First thing: Not All Therapists Are Alike! Different training, life experiences, personalities, therapeutic approaches and having done their own therapeutic work comes into play.

You want to look for someone trained in dealing with emotional issues this would include an MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist) as MFT's are specially trained in these areas, relationship conflicts and more.

Be realistic, acknowledge that not every person you meet may not instantly be a good fit. Give it a chance 3-5 sessions minimum, is my recommendation. If you find that it is not a good fit, discuss this in what you deem to be your final session and ask for referrals (you can expect 3 referrals). Acknowledge it was just not a good match, and not your fault!

What is NOT OK when it comes to the client/therapist working relationship includes:
* The therapist is a business client or you interact in another professional or personal manner
* Any sexual or romantic gestures
* Breaking confidentiality - To name just a couple of big issues, there are more.

What To Look For:
* Feeling comfortable and safe
* Feeling Heard and Understood
* Getting your needs met, learning, discovering, understanding, self awareness, options...

For anyone suffering from emotional pain, relationship problems, loneliness or life transitions such as divorce, losing your income or home, struggling with anxiety and/or depression as well as issues of panic, self harm or loss and you are in the vicinity of Ventura County, California you can call Ashley's office for a *FREE assessment and help - mention Squidoo.
805-204-7315.

In other areas and for other options - check with your health insurance, try dialing 211, a trusted friend or your primary care doctor all of whom may be able to provide you with the information you need.

*Limitations apply
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serving Ventura County, California

*Free assessment prior to attending group or individual sessions. Affordable fees.
These groups are professionally facilitated.

Anger Management
Monday Afternoons
4::00 - 5:00 pm

Men's Group ( Camarillo )
Monday Evenings
6:15 - 7:30 pm

Other groups are available, please inquire

Available for presentations and talks

*Limitations apply

The Anxiety Wheel

One can be suffering with anxiety and not be fully aware of it.

HOW CAN THIS BE?

Do you or a loved one have a habit of counting, picking, checking and rechecking, always cleaning or struggle in social situations or driving, maybe leaving the house? What do your closets look like, extremely organized? Ever feel detached, like you're outside of yourself?

These can often be attributed to anxiety.
Have you ever been called a "worrier", struggle with insomnia or depression? There are also physical symptoms associated with anxiety.

Anxiety can reek havoc on our physical well being, weaken our immune systems, heart muscle and other vital organs.

It's not uncommon for individuals suffering from various forms of anxiety and even depression to turn to 'self medicating'. This may take the form of alcohol and or drugs, self destructive patterns of behavior and negative self talk.

To have a quiet mind, what might that be like and how can you achieve this - It is possible!

Focusing on one thing helps calm the mind, it does take practice to train your mind to focus. Breathing can be a good focal point.
(This was copied from another of my lenses at:Squidoo.com/AshleyBrettingMS)

For further help, support or guidance you may want to consider joining a support group, I facilitate several in the Ventura, CA area. Or you may contact your local social services agency.

Ashley Bretting, M.S.
Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Intern #IMF51514
Supervised by Lynn M. Jones, Ph.D.
Lic # MFC021739
Morbrook Institute A non-profit agency
in collaboration with Camarillo Health Care District

(805) 204-7315 (Cell)

AshleyBretting.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony",Gandhi

Self-talk is our internal dialogue - the words we use when we talk to ourselves, Reflecting and creating our emotional states.

You can feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. Your self-talk can influence your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, relationships with others and how you experience life. It can even affect your health, determining, for example, how you handle stressful events, or how easily you replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

Examples :

Focusing only on problems: This is the essence of complaining. We dwell on the problem, instead of solutions. Instead: Assume most problems have solutions, and ask "How do I want this situation to be different?"

Catastrophizing: Every bad thing that happens is a horrible disaster. Instead: Be realistic ...

Expecting the worst: "What if he doesn't like me?" "What if I don't pass the exam?" Expecting the worst does not encourage you to behave effectively. Expecting the worst only promotes anxiety. Instead:...

(There are so many more )

If you are interested in seeking help with your own inner dialogue/ self talk, want to change it and need some assistance, do not hesitate to get in touch... (805) 204-7315

Ahem, mumbling not encouraged :)
.

Are You A Sleepy Head?

Looking at your bedtime habits may reveal why sleep is elusive. Here are a few strategies to help improve your chances of getting a good nights sleep:

Dim the lights an hour before bedtime, this can help trigger the brain that "rest time" is approaching

Resist watching t.v. in bed

Avoid eating/ snacking in bed

Only use your bed for sex and sleep

Listen to some relaxing music

A warm bath or shower helps some individuals

Make yourself a nice warm cup of tea (decaffeinated)

Focusing on one thing helps calm the mind, it does take practice to train your mind to focus...

Breathing can be a good focal point, the use of a 'white noise' machine has been found helpful for many - this item can be found under Helpful Tools at a reasonable price.

For further help and individualized strategies make an appointment for your *free assessment.

Ashley Bretting, M.S.
Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Intern #IMF51514
Supervised by Lynn M. Jones, Ph.D.
Lic # MFC021739
Morbrook Institute A non-profit agency
in collaboration with Camarillo Health Care District

Cell: (805) 204-7315
Office: (805) 484-7868 ext 8#
www.ashleybretting.com

*Limitations apply, see AshleyBretting.com

If you wake early, have trouble falling asleep, feel sluggish throughout your day these may signs of insomnia. What is going on? While our emotional state plays a significant role in how we sleep, it is good to rule out any physical causes such as sleep apnea (Sleep apnea is when breathing is disrupted).

Which came first?
Tricky question - Emotional struggles can interfere with sleep, on the other hand, lack of proper sleep can create changes in mood.

You may consider asking your doctor for a referral to a sleep study.

In Victorian times depression was referred to as hysteria. Even earlier the symptoms of depression are described under one of the 7 deadly sins as Sloth, where they thought depression and melancholy was a 'choice'.

Only in recent history and with the giant steps of scientific advancements was the culprit identified as that of a chemical imbalance. In the 1980's with the introduction of (SSRI's) Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors was the chemical imbalance properly addressed, in part.

I support each clients decision whether they choose to use medication or not. As was the case during the Victorian era, talk therapy has tremendous benefits and continues to evolve into more useful styles as is the case with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This is an interactive, effective and current day approach used by many, including myself to help with depression, anxiety, relational issues, self esteem matters, addiction, self harm and much more.

Depression Symptoms Include:

Deep sadness
Emptiness
Hopeless
Helpless
Changes in sleep
Changes in appetite
Suicidal thoughts
Exhaustion
isolating yourself

You can survive depression. Reach out for help, even though you don't feel like it. Because you are worth it and help is available.

At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.

Five Stages Of Grief

1. Denial
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

2. Anger
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

3. Bargaining
The grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

4. Depression
Feeling down, numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

5. Acceptance
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Grief And Stress - During periods of grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings: sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt.

Denying yourself these feelings, failing to work through the different stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them.

Help is available to assist you through this difficult time. (805) 204-7315

Beyond The Stages Of Mourning

* If you are mourning for a recent loss make sure to make time for feeling the emotions that arise, whether they are anger, sadness, or pain. There is no need to judge these emotions as good or bad and know that it is Ok to feel these and they will not last forever as all things come and go. You may even create a little ritual where you spend time with the picture or object connected to the person who has passed.

* Friends sometimes get uncomfortable around grief and if they try and make you feel better in the moment, thank them for this, and let them know it is normal and natural to feel how you feel.

* Make sure to also take care of yourself during this time, go out on a walk, make sure to eat healthy.

* Try and open your eyes to the delights around you. It could be a smile on a child's face or your own. Smelling a wonderful flower or maybe tasting your own favorite food. Even in the midst of grief we can be open to the wonders of life.

* Know your limits and allow yourself to take a break from feeling when it's becoming overwhelming, but make sure to let your grief know that you will come back. Make a time to revisit it otherwise it will occupy you all day.

* Being altruistic can be a great way to move through grief. Maybe you would like to volunteer at a homeless shelter or make some things for those you care about.

* Support has been known to be very helpful and so joining a grief or support group either online or in person can be enormously supportive.

Bipolar (Manic Depression)

Bipolar is a psychological disorder affecting an estimated 6 percent of the population. Bipolar disorder equally affects people of all races and backgrounds.

What is Bipolar ?

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which periods of extreme euphoria, called mania, alternate with periods of severe depression. Bipolar disorder is sometimes also called manic depression.

Learn what you need to know to stay healthy.
.

Know someone who may benefit from a new investigational treatment?
Maybe you're just curious to see what new horizons are being explored in the medical field...

ClinicalConnection.com

Clinicaltrials.gov

Centerwatch.com

Clinicaltrials.ucla.edu

Never underestimate the power of laughter. If we can find the humor in everyday life and the silly, sometimes dumb things we do - it can lighten our load and be uplifting... knowing that we all have blond moments or as I like to call them "I Love Lucy Moments".

Some of my own can be found at the lens listed below, I hope they make you smile :)

squidoo.com/EverydayHumor

Next, Stuff To Get

7 Ways to Mindfully Boost Self-Esteem
By Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
May 1, 2009

In an earlier blog on boosting self esteem, I explored one of the fundamental issues we have with feeling self worth and cultivating self acceptance. Underneath it all, I believe there is a fundamental break in our ability to love ourselves. If we are able to accept ourselves as we are and care for ourselves when the inner tyrant raises its voice, our self esteem issues would dissipate. And, I followed this by saying, "easier said than done." One comment from this blog was about giving some more "nuts and bolts" in relation to boosting self esteem using mindfulness.

For those who are just tuning in, mindfulness is an approach that is about paying attention, on purpose, in a non-judgmental way. So, you might say, "great, so I notice my mind judging myself, I let that be, and then what?" Good question. Some might say, "that's it, recognize thoughts as thoughts, don't take them personally, they are just mental events in the mind that come and go, they aren't facts." Let's take it a step further:

Here are a list of 7 things you can do to mindfully boost self-esteem:

1. Write it down - In working with erroneous negative self-judgments, it is a great idea to actually write them down. Writing them down on paper separates them from the emotion and also creates a pause so you can reflect on the meaning of whether this judgment is even accurate or not. We also can come to a place where we don't have to ruminate about it because we already have it down.
2. Ask the question - Is this just a well worn habit of my mind to think this way? Do the facts of the situation support this? Are there alternative thoughts here?
3. Question your mood - Be aware of how you are feeling. Ask yourself, if I were feeling well right now, would I see this the same way? This gets at the heart of thoughts being just transient mental events and not facts. This helps the thought not be quite as sticky.
4. Question the source - Where did I originally get this message? Sometimes we can look back to our earliest relationships or traumas and notice that where having this thought and attitude helped us cope as children, it is an old coping habit that is no longer effective or helpful right now. Gaining this perspective can support us in letting go of it.
5. Make a list of what you like about yourself - This may be a difficult one, but after each thought you write down, take a moment with it and notice what it feels like to even write it down. Expand this list by taking anothe perspective. Ask what your friends would say about you? If you have difficulty with this, ask them in person, by phone, email or text.
6. Create a file - Therese Borchard writes about how her therapist suggested she create a self-esteem file. Each time people say something positive about you, put it in the file. Make it a practice to look at this file daily. To add some mindfulness to it, notice your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that arise while writing in the file and also while re-reading it.
7. Lovingkindness - Many people wish they were well, happy, healthy, free from fear, free from the torment of that inner critic. So add to this list what you wish for yourself and say it like this, "May I be healthy, may I be happy, may I be free from fear, may I be free from my harsh inner critic." After reading the list over each day, pause, and then intentionally repeat these words and aspirations of lovingkindness to yourself.

Know that this is a practice in loving yourself. Allow yourself to settle into whatever arises for you in this process. When you wander off and don't stick to this, that is perfectly fine. As soon as you notice that you've wandered from the path, you are present and can now invite yourself to start it up again.

Please share your thoughts and comments about self-esteem, self worth, and self acceptance. Your interaction here provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

This was my own response to the prompt

Describe your day to day life:

I wake each day of late, with joy and purpose - this was not always the case.

I bring hope and reason to the distraught and disillusioned, offer to hold anothers pain while they are in the room - giving them a rest and reprieve from from their burdens and hurt, their shame or guilt and whatever else they carry in their heart & soul.

I've found my purpose, am living my dream, experience incredible joy when my clients are healing and feel blessed for all that I have survived to be here for them.

Strange how life works out, isn't it...

Ashley B 22-Oct-2008