5 Super Questions to Start a Conversation

Starting a conversation with someone you don't know well is a scary business. You probably stand and watch the room full of strangers, hoping desperately that someone will talk first - anyone but you. You don't know if you'll be ignored or what reception your words will get. That's why using questions to start a conversation is a good idea. A question lets the person you're talking to know exactly what you want to get back from them. Because that makes it easy for them to respond, they're likely to answer you and then you're in business; you've got the conversation started.

So what's so scary about breaking the ice?

1. You're scared of being rejected.
If I say hello, they won't say hello back to me. Hello
doesn't take much effort - but it can also be responded to
by a simple smile or a nod. That's not much good if you're
hoping to start a conversation.

2. "I haven't anything good to say."
Who said you had to start a conversation with something
fascinating and exciting? That's too much pressure to put
on yourself, so get that idea out of your head right now.

Your questions should be open-ended so that they invite the
person you're asking to give more of a response than a
simple 'yes' or 'no'. That's not going to start a very long
conversation - is it!

So now you know why questions are a good way to start a
conversation and you know they don't have to be anything
too clever or intellectual, let's have a look at some good
questions to start conversations:

1. "How was your day?" is always a nice conversation opener.
It's easy to answer and the person you ask is bound to have
some opinion on it. Giving the other person a chance to talk
about him or herself and focusing on them shows that you are
polite and caring. Also, it gives you an opportunity to
learn more about the other person. You'll hear what they did
with their day and that might also give you clues about any
family, work or hobbies that have. You can then pick up on
any of these things to develop your conversation with them.

2. "What do you do in your spare time?" is a great question
to start conversations with. It helps both of you see how
much you have in common - and that gives you a whole raft of
ideas to continue the conversation. You can both talk about
why you love the hobby and how long you've been doing it.

3. "What do you do for a living?" will give you fertile
ground for finding out about the other person and asking
more questions.

4. "Have you been on holiday this year" will give you plenty
to talk about. Most people have either recently been on a
holiday or they're planning one. Good or bad, they'll love
to share their holkiday stories with you.

5. "Do you have any family?" is a gentle, sensitive way of
opening up a potentially easy subject for conversation.
Phrasing the question like that also avoids potential
embarrassment over divorce, sexuality or childlessness.

The 'trick' if there is any, with asking questions to start
conversations is to ask an open-ended question on a normal,
everyday topic that the person you're talking to will find
it easy to answer on. You're trying to get to know them, not
interrogate them. A conversation needs to be a two-way
process and asking an easy question is the perfect way to
draw in the other person and make it a conversation. As soon
as you can get a response from the other person that goes
somewhere and gives you an idea for something else t say,
you've got the conversation going. That's why using questions
to start conversations is a great idea.

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