"Reconciled by the Light" - Book Review

This is a true story about a teen suicide. Why would I want to read such a book, let alone write a review of it? It's really not a pleasant topic, and the description of how he died is quite unsettling.

Well, first of all, I know the author. Not his family, just him, the father of the boy who died. That's enough really.

And I know some of the people mentioned in the book, including the family of the teenage son who was killed in a car accident. They live in the same town as us, and my daughter knew him. We went to his memorial service. So this book reminds me of that experience.

And why did I choose to give a summary of the book, in this review? Usually I just introduce the characters and setting and encourage others to read it for themselves. In this case, the title and sub-title of the book really tell the story. There are no plot twists. That's it.

So here's the book, and my review. I can say that parts of the book are disturbing, but others are heartwarming. My review is the same; just to give you fair warning.

"Reconciled by the Light" was written by Ron Pappalardo, whose teenage son Joshua completed his suicide by self-immolation - he went outside into the woods behind their house, poured a can of gasoline over himself and lit a match. He was engulfed in flames that burned a large tree. He said he felt no pain as his body burned, since he had an out of body experience where he saw the scene from above. He then walked back to his home where his younger siblings called 911 and waited with him, his clothes still smoldering, till the ambulance came. A few hours later at the burn unit of the local hospital he passed away in the company of his parents.

While many families fall apart under such circumstances, this family was able to survive. Josh's father, believing that there is life after death and that his son still exists in some spiritual form, sought ways to help his son ascend to a higher place in the spirit world. He was able to contact a minister who was spiritually sensitive. This minister received the first communication from Joshua while preparing to speak at the memorial service. It was through him that Joshua whispered his first four words to those he left behind: "Don't ... ever ... do ... this."

Helped by the many friends who attended the memorial service, another parent who had lost her son to an accident, and several mediums who were able to communicate with Joshua, Ron Pappalardo was able to overcome the trauma and accompanying guilt of the tragedy. Joshua's communications expressed his deep sorrow that he had caused so much pain. Ron found himself able to forgive both his son and himself. Hearing that Josh was proud to be his son allowed the barriers to come down, the tears to flow, and the reconciliation to begin.

Ron believes that his son has reached a place of light and beauty, a place where he is free to be the happy person he used to be in his early childhood. So this book provides great comfort to those who have lost a loved one in a tragic way, such as suicide.

Back to the Light by dequilla on zazzle.com

This is how I imagine the return journey to the Divine, to the Light, to God. Travelling through the veils that separate us from the divine light, the splendour of that light finally bursts through and engulfs us in its mercy, love and comfort. It is a journey I look forward to making, 'Back to the Light.' Ruth J. Jamieson

However, this book does not in any way suggest that suicide or tragic sudden death is a good thing. According to the spiritual communications Ron received more recently, Joshua is dedicating himself to helping others who are going through similar struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, not just in the world of spirit but those on the earth who might follow his path.

I found this book to have a great balance in its message. It provides comfort to those left behind, in the form of understanding that even suicidal death is not the end - where there is love there is always hope.

At the same time it encourages teens (and anyone seriously depressed) to seek options other than suicide. Taking the gift of life and snuffing it out "in a moment of thoughtlessness" as Joshua did is not the answer.

Here are some of the things readers of this book have been saying:

• "If you miss or long for someone who has passed from this life -- a spouse, a parent, a brother or sister, a friend -- you need to read this book." Clark Eberly


• "I came to this book with no particular belief in the efficacy of mediums or communication with the dead. But the sincerity and genuineness of Ron's story will convince almost anyone that there are possibilities even scientists and empiricists ought to consider. ... If you've ever lost a loved one, you will look upon that experience in a new and uplifting way after reading Reconciled by the Light." Diana Lawrence


• "This book goes far beyond 'coping' with suicide and loss to a powerful reaffirmation of just who we truly are and why each of us is here." Rev. David Hose


• "I finished reading Reconciled by the Light, and I want to thank Ron Pappalardo for writing what must have been so difficult to even face without agony. Work like that is not for the faint of heart, and we, but especially the newly bereaved, can be encouraged that there is light at the end of a long, painful journey." Celia Roomet

Selections from Reviews of Reconciled by the Light.

Copyright © Jennifer P. Tanabe, 2010.
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