Are We Compatible?

1. Personality: Opposites Attract

It is our differences that attract us to each other, but they can also drive a wedge between us. A classic dichotomy. My wife used to love that I could answer most of her questions with an informative response. A few years after the honeymoon she thinks I'm just blowing smoke. This law of attraction is seen in nature and in phyisics.
Animals find their opposite and mate, positive and negative ions can't keep thier hands off each other. Know your differences and celebrate them because after all they are the reason you hooked up.

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2. Family of Origin

Both partners came from different families. This may sound like an obvious statement but it is often underestimated. We have the tendency to project our "normal" behavior onto our partner. This is because of the family we were brought up in. The social norms and customs that we learned in our families are so deeply engrained in us, that we often times can not fathom why someone else doesn't do things the way we do. My wife has a filing system and I have a piling system. Her parents were organized and everthing had its place. My parents were in a constant state of chaos and things needed to be out in the open to remind them of where they were.

3. Faith and Spirituality

Some people are open about their faith or spirituality and others are not. This can be a hot button in a relationship when one or both partners never say anything about a subject that can have huge implications. This topic affects holidays, raising children, finances, etc. This was the first and most important factor in finding my life partner. We share a common faith which allows us to navigate decisions with congruency. I believe if we did not share a common belief system we would not be together today.

Would you like to know if its our differences that make a relationship work? Or is it our similarities? I say its both! Without knowing how to identify or discover these things you should know about your mate (or potential mate) you could be at a great disadvantage. Relationship compatibility is found in communicating openly who we are. That being said, we are still discovering new things about each other and will continue to do so because we are willing to ask more questions. No topic should be off limits or unmentionable. Remember the only dumb question is the one that wasn't asked.