by 5 people |
The Retro Sexual Woman
1. A person who has not had sex in several years, or even decades
or
2. Someone who doesn't care what he looks like, in other words the complete opposite of a metrosexual
If we apply definition #1 to the Retro Sexual, we will find she is the rarest, most delicate of flowers in the garden.
Tell Me All About Her!
...that delicate flower
- Recognizing The Retro Sexual Woman...
- Retro Sexual Hairstyles
- Retro Sexual Women Never...
- Essential to the Retro Sexual Lifestyle
- Retro Sexual Women Like...
- I Want One of These Women!
- The Retro Sexual Woman's Home
- Cook up a little retro fun
- Retro Sexual Party Foods
- Party Cheese Ball Recipe
- The Retro Sexual Kitchen
- Retro Sexual Skill Enhancers
- Retro Sexual Women are Very Clean
- Retro Sexual Accessories on eBay
- Mustard Mold Recipe
- Gelatin Molds for Every Occasion
- Tell Me Your Tips
- Do You Squidoo?
Recognizing The Retro Sexual Woman...
You've seen her at the library
1. Dresses like a character from Mad Men.2. Drinks Fresca.
3. Knows 72 different recipes for canapes that use only tuna, mayonnaise, paprika, Ritz crackers, creme cheese, and olives.
4. Cuts little diagonal slits in hot dogs when grilling them.
5. Sleeps in curlers.
Retro Sexual Women Never...
There are a lot of nevers with retro sexuals
1. Never kiss on the first date. Or the second, or the third.
2. Never watch television without knitting or other womanly work, as idle hands are the devil's workshop.
3. Never forget to write thank you cards.
4. Never divulge their secret recipe for deviled eggs.
5. Never leave the lights on.
Retro Sexual Women Like...
No, retro sexuals are not exactly exotic
1. A bracing game of scrabble.
2. Drinks with umbrellas but no alcohol.
3. Dinner parties with at least 2 other couples where everyone goes home with the same person they came in with.
4. Wearing frilly aprons when cooking.
5. Having potholders and centerpieces that match the holiday.
I Want One of These Women!
Get a retro sexual t-shirt or mug
All the kooky illustrations on this lens [and more!] can be found on a buffet of fabulous items from Cafepress.
- Retro Sexuals on Cafepress
- Designs for the Retro Sexual Woman and Man.
Cook up a little retro fun
Get your retro sexual cooking series from Amazon
Retro Cocktails: Shake It Baby! (Retro Cookbooks Series)
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009) 
List Price: $16.95
Used Price: $0.19
Hostess with the Mostess: A Galaxy of Retro Recipes (Retro Cookbooks Series)
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009)
List Price: $16.95
Used Price: $0.95
The Way to a Man's Heart: Romantic Recipes for Every Occasion (Retro Cookbooks Series)
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009)
List Price: $16.95
Used Price: $0.09
Retro Desserts: Totally Hip, Updated Classic Desserts from the '40S, '50S, 60s and '70s
Amazon Price: $24.90 (as of 11/29/2009)
List Price: $30.00
Used Price: $4.70
Usually ships in 24 hours
Party Cheese Ball Recipe
Retro Sexual women LOVE cheese balls
1/2 pound cheddar cheese, finely grated1 3 oz. package of creme cheese
1/4 cup pitted green olives, coarsely chopped
1/2 teaspoon Worchestershire sauce
Dash of celery salt
1/2 cup dried beef, coarsely snipped
Soften cheeses, add olives, Worchestershire sauce and salt. Mix thoroughly, and roll in dried beef. Wrap in foil and chill.
Serve with Ritz crackers for a real party pleaser!
Retro Sexual Skill Enhancers
Help perfect your hostessing skills
- Video Cake Baking Lessons
- The fast track to being the perfect hostess
- Top Ten Candy Recipes
- You'll be the hit of the party
- Penny Pinching Meals
- A Retro Sexual Woman is always thrifty
Retro Sexual Accessories on eBay
Not so much sexual as retro, but fun nonetheless
Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by
Mustard Mold Recipe
All retro sexual women like gelatin molds
1 envelope gelatin
1/2 cup cold water
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/2 cup heavy creme, whipped
Soften gelatin in cold water. Stir over low heat until dissolved. Cool. Combine mayonnaise, mustard, salt, and paprika. Stir in gelatin. Chill until slightly thickened. Fold in whipped creme. Pour into 1 quart mold. chill.
This recipe makes a great addition to a party table served with crackers.
Gelatin Molds for Every Occasion
Make a great gift for the retro sexual in your family
Tell Me Your Tips
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Reply
- 24websurf 24websurf May 13, 2009 @ 5:34 pm
- Thank you for defining the meaning. Now I know exactly who I am. You just reminded me, I forgot the cream cheese for my world famous cheeseball. LOL! Funny lens!
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Reply
- EditionH EditionH Feb 7, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
- It´s great to see you here Natalie, I feel you will spice this squidoo a bit not only with peppers :).
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Reply
- tandemonimom tandemonimom Jan 16, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
- But what do they DO with all the umbrellas from their alchol-less drinks?
