Urban Legends of "Where Missing Socks Go" Revealed.
Over the years far-fetched theories have formed and circulated like ghost stories. Tall-tales that provoke thought and wonder of the most common question known to man:
"Where did my sock go?"
The mystery of missing socks has gathered quite a collection of irrational stories and false beliefs, and we thought that it was about time someone stepped up and separated fact from fiction. We've uncovered the most common "sock myths" of all time and disproved each one, because there really is only one true explanation: the dryer is eating your socks.
Myth:
"Tiny gnomes live in caverns underneath your laundry appliances and collect socks to use for trade/currency."
Gnomes, really? The heinous act of spreading this horrifying story around when children are present should be punishable. Even if "sock-stealing gnomes" did exist, the dryer would eat them, too. Myth:
"There is a black hole inside of the dryer hose that sucks them in and shoots them to the Island of Lost Socks."
Let's pretend, for a moment, that this was even physically possible. A black hole is a region of space resulting from the collapse of a star. So, unless there are also stars in your appliances, I would say this myth is completely ludicrous. Myth:
"There is a sock monster that lives in the dryer."
It lives in the dryer in the day, and crawls under your bed in the night. It slithers under your blankets with it's razor sharp teeth while you're sleeping. It feasts on your socks, and waits for you to reach your hand into the dryer... it's THE SOCK MONSTER!This myth is just stupid. Next...
Myth:
"There is a one-legged burglar running around."
This story began circulating in 1962, after a man named Robert Hughes was arrested for stealing his neighbor's socks while they were away. He only had one leg and was reported to only have been stealing left socks from their dresser drawers. In 1995, Robert passed away, and his tombstone read, "The One-legged Burglar". After his passing, socks have continued to go missing on a daily basis all around the world and dryers have reaped the benefits of people believing that there is still a crazy man responsible for this crime. Myth:
"They get stuck inside of the washing drain and the dryer hose."
This myth is so far-fetched that we held ourselves to a higher standard and refused to even touch such a ridiculous "explanation". Dryers eat socks. Period. Myth:
"Socks become cannibalistic when exposed to heat."
This is quite an entertaining theory, but it doesn't have any scientific-based facts to back it up. So, to prove this claim as untrue, we hired a highly qualified team of experts to perform studies on this subject. After feeding all of the socks until they were about to bust their stitches, they were exposed to high levels of heat inside of a typical house-dryer. The end result once again proved that socks don't eat socks, dryers do. Answer the Question
..or a giant bird will come through your window and peck you in the head. (We have connections).
Where's the strangest place you've found your socks? (Comment, vote on the best ones, whatever you fancy).
My Friend's House
I'd been missing my cozy pair of socks my friend h more...1 point
Behind the Dryer
My husband and I were cleaning the apartment befor more...1 point
Oh, and By the Way..
...comments make the world a safer place to live.
submit
-
Reply
- Treasures-By-Brenda Treasures-By-Brenda Nov 7, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
- I'm sorry to have to disagree but I think that socks do just go missing! Welcome to Squidoo. Your lens is well done and blessed by a SquidAngel.
-
Reply
- SacrificialSock SacrificialSock Oct 29, 2009 @ 5:30 pm
- Yeah, we were pretty entertained by the Sock Monster theory. We're still shaking in our boots.
-
Reply
- Calexis Calexis Oct 29, 2009 @ 1:55 pm
- This is too funny! THE SOCK MONSTER! HAHA!
by SacrificialSock
Reading our bio is a $5 fee. We accept PayPal or cash only. (more)
Explore related pages
Funny T-shirts!!!!!!!! :)- T-shirts that might make you smile and/or laugh.
All Things Chuck Norris- Millions of people worldwide know Chuck Norris as the star of more than twenty m...
Are Clotheslines an Eyesore or an Energy Saver?- Clotheslines are gaining in popularity Hanging your clothes on a line may bring...
Is There a Lack of Interest in Helping Lost and Found Pets and Worried Owners?- Owners are at their wits end when their pet goes missing. There are lost pet sit...
The Sacrificial Sock
- Let's face it-- at the end of the day we're exhausted. Whether we spent...
How-To Guide to De-cluttering Your Laundry Room
- A laundry room is the one place that most commonly goes to the dumps. With littl...
