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Save My Marriage Today Secrets

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Saving My Marriage Today Secrets

I have been a counselor working with perpatrators of domestic violence for eleven years now, and have seen over and over the results of power and control tactics in human relationships. Sometimes those consequences involve the death of a spouse or significant other.

Sadly, the most difficult consequences happen for the children in a marraige/relationship where the adults refuse to practice the basic skills spoken to in Save My Marriage Today.

But perhaps you are not experiencing domestic violence or power and control tactics.

Your marriage just is not as vibrant and alive as you want.

Or you are looking for tools to Save Your Marriage Today.

Well, the folks who put this manual together provide thoughtful and topical ideas and a philosophy that is encouraging and hopeful.

I was actually quite surprised at the breadth and depth of their knowledge. I guess I expected an online manual titled Save My Marriage Today to be not like what I would use in my practice with troubled clients.

But several times I found myself saying, "Wow, why hasn't somebody said it like that before?"

For example, on page 39, Amy Waterman and her co-authors write this.

"One important difference between negotiation and argument is that negotiation

removes the emotion while arguments heighten it. When you argue, your heart rate

goes up, and emotions feel more intense. You'll do anything to be right, to get your

way, to show the other person how much they're wrong. Under the intoxicating effect

of emotions, you may say or do things that you later regret."

In fact, John Gottman in his work on marriage, has his clients learn to take their pulse rate, and if their pulse goes over 95 beats per minute, they are to take a time out, which might last 20 minutes.

I really like Gottman's work, and when I see a similarity in Save My Marriagege Today, I am elated.

Click here for more information on Save My Marriage Today.

Contents at a Glance

Save My Marriage Today Free Newsletter
Brain Brightening
How do I love you? Let me count the ways...
Amy Waterman's Day 1 Newsletter
Ask Your Question Here About Save Your M...
What is Your Favorite Online Marriage En...

Priceless Tips in Your Mail Box From Amy Waterman

In my mini-course, this is what you will learn.

Part 1 - Risk Factors for Divorce and Why You Should Ignore Them

- The top six predictors of divorce. Be aware of the statistics so that you can confront them head-on!
- The top six predictors of a long-lasting marriage. Are the odds in your favor?
- The keys to a successful marriage (hint: they're not being in love or always happy).
- Who tends to initiate divorce. Your partner may be contemplating divorce right now and you don't even know it!
- Who has the real power in your relationship. I'll tell you exactly who can turn your relationship around and how to do it!

Part 2 - The Real Marriage Killer: Loss of Love and Intimacy

- How to recognize when your relationship is in danger. Hint: it's not when you're arguing all the time!
- What to do if the love is gone. You'll be astounded at this advice!
- 25 Relationship Killers. Keep these from poisoning your relationship!
- The double 'D's. How disillusionment and disappointment can eat away at your marriage.

Part 3 - Affairs: How to Spot Them and Prevent Them Before They Occur

- When affairs are likely to occur. The stress points in your marriage that you have to watch out for.
- Where affairs happen. Prevent an affair before it happens by watching these troublesome areas.
- Will an affair destroy your marriage? What to consider.
- What to do if you suspect an affair. Hint: it's not to come out straight and accuse him/her.

Part 4 - Poor Communication: Getting Touchy Feely with Your Partner

- Getting your partner to open up. Some powerful strategies to get the communication flowing again.
- The Dos and Don'ts of Communication. Are bad communication patterns keeping your spouse from sharing with you?
- The Rules of Arguing. It's not a free-for-all!
- The Silent Poison. How resentment can destroy your marriage and how communication can help.

Part 5 - Lack of Commitment: If You're Involved in Something (or Someone) Else, You're Not Involved with Your Spouse

- How modern attitudes towards marriage work against commitment. How generational attitudes towards marriage can sabotage commitment before it starts.
- The danger of being a workaholic.
- How children can divide a marriage.
- The danger of the Internet.

Part 6 - Growing Apart: Keep It from Happening to You!

- Incompatibility. Spot it before incompatibility splits you up.
- Your Partner is a Book. Read him/her, even if you haven't shared in the past!
- Mid-Life Crises. The danger zone of middle age.

This mini course will give you some basic tools to deal with a dissolving marriage, but I can't possibly tell you everything in just six emails. That's why I put everything into my e-book, Save My Marriage Today! It's got so, so much more. It's chockfull of useful exercises designed to give you a better understanding of what's causing problems with your marriage and how to fix them. You'll learn about conflict resolution, increasing intimacy, how to deal with an affair, and much, much more. Click on the link below to see exactly how I can help your marriage get back on its feet again!

(Not to change the subject, but would you like to craft your own Squidoo Lens? Learn from the master,
Bob The Teacher).

Brain Brightening

Quick-Fun-Simple-Online

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.

Do You Freemind? Mind Mapping Software for Your Marriage Goals with a tutorial from...

Bob Jenkins aka Bob The Teacher.

What if you and your partner had a tool to track and/or plan the course of your marriage, or marital finances? And you could work on it together. Here it is.

Amy Waterman's Day 1 Newsletter

Risk Factors For Divorce and Why You Should Ignore Them

SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY 6-PART MINI-COURSE - DAY 1

Risk Factors for Divorce and Why You Should Ignore Them
by Amy Waterman

If your marriage is struggling, unhappy, or on the verge of divorce, you need to have the best information available at your fingertips. You need to know what factors could be working against your marriage right now, even if you see nothing wrong. Many people believe that their marriage is working fine until their spouse gives them the wake-up call.

Marriages either grow or weaken: they don't stay static. That means that a secure marriage isn't one where things are always the same. A solid marriage is one in which you never stop putting in effort to make it better and better.

You wouldn't be visiting the Save My Marriage Today! website unless your marriage was in crisis. This six-part course is intended as an eye-opener to show you why your marriage may have gotten to this point and what behaviors may be leading you further down the path to divorce. If you're going to restore, heal, and strengthen your marriage, you HAVE to think frankly about the reasons your marriage isn't satisfying both you and your partner. That's where this course can help.

Top Six Predictors of Divorce

Let's start out with the things that you can't change. Some marriages start off with a number of challenges arrayed against them; other marriages have factors in their favor. If any of the following situations apply to you and your partner, don't despair. These are risk factors--not determining factors. It may just mean
that you need extra help (such as professional counseling) to work through the issues that you and your partner are facing.

1. You married in your teens.

Study after study shows that age at marriage is one of the most powerful and consistent predictors of marital stability. If you marry before you turn twenty, you are much likely to divorce.

2. You lived together before marriage.

Many young people today believe that living together before marrying will test their compatibility and keep them from making a mistake by marrying someone they don't know fully. Despite the widespread prevalence of this belief, the evidence just doesn't back it up. Even though over half of all first marriages are preceded by a period of living together, don't do it just because everyone else is doing it. Living together before marriage
considerably increases your chances of eventually divorcing--unless you were already engaged beforehand and marry soon after moving in together.

3. Your parents or your partner's parents were divorced.

Children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce themselves (as well as less likely to marry in the first place). This risk can be mitigated if one of you comes from a happy, intact family. If both you and your partner come from broken homes, the divorce risk soars.

4. You have a child together before marriage.

On a positive note, couples with children have a slightly lower risk of divorce than childless couples, if their first child is born seven months or more after they marry. Having a child together before that period will increases your risk of divorce.

5. You haven't been married long.

The first two years of a marriage are critical, and half of all divorces occur by the seventh year of a marriage. The longer you've been married, the more likely you are to stay married.

6. Your annual income is under $25,000.

Money matters. Financial strains often break up marriages, as when money is tight, arguments and marital tensions increase. In fact, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers considers financial problems to be one of the five most common reasons for divorce (along with poor communication, lack of marital commitment,
infidelity, and a dramatic change in priorities.)

Top Six Predictors of a Long-Lasting Marriage

If you're facing challenges in your marriage, it may be comforting to know that you have some factors in your favor. These predictors are limited to factors that were set in place when you married and don't include aspects like good communication and conflict resolution skills.

1. You were both older when you married.

Getting married over the age of twenty-five (as opposed to your teens) will decrease your chances of divorce. This is because older individuals tend to be more mature, clearer about what they're looking for in a partner, and have more economic stability.

2. You share the same religion or belief system.

Sharing a religion is a powerful bond, because it brings you and your partner together on a spiritual level and gives your marriage a sense of a higher purpose. When you are both active in a religion, you have counseling and a strong support network available to foster you through difficult times in your marriage.
Too, your shared values and life goals sustain your marriage and keep you growing together rather than apart.

3. You have some higher education.

A college degree isn't necessary to increase your chances of a long-lasting marriage, but some higher education will decrease your chances of divorce considerably with comparison to a high-school dropout.

4. Your parents are still together.

If you grew up in an intact family, your chances of divorce are less in comparison to someone who grew up with divorced parents. This is because so much of what we learn about marriage and marital behavior comes from watching our parents. If our parents developed strategies for staying together, we'll absorb those strategies in childhood and be able to use them ourselves in our adult relationships.

5. Your income is above $50,000.

Couples with medium to high incomes tend to experience less strife over money management. They have the financial security to worry less about making a living and more about making a life.

6. You have a child together.

Couples with children have a lower risk of divorce compared to childless couples. However, be warned: the most stressful time in a marriage is after the birth of the first child. That's why it's so important that the first child is born only after the marriage has developed a strong foundation.

The Keys to a Successful Marriage

According to Michael P. Johnson, professor of sociology at Penn State, there are three things that keep a person in a marriage: people want to stay, they feel they ought to stay, and/or they have to stay. This combination of personal, moral, and structural commitment serves to keep people in marriages.

Notice that commitment keeps people in marriage--not happiness. Dr. Ted Huston of the University of Texas Austin studied couples from courtship to marriage. His ten-year-plus study exploded many popular misconceptions about love. For example, he found that many recently wed couples did not experience newlywed bliss; in fact, couples whose marriages began with "Hollywood romance" intensity soon burned out. A couple expecting wedded bliss every day of their lives was actually more likely to divorce than a couple with
a less exciting relationship, because they were more likely to consider divorce when those intense feelings subsided. Does that mean that less exciting, even lackluster relationships last? They do indeed, perhaps because they have less far to fall.

mbers may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team--not on their individual success.

When Marriage Fails ... Who and How

Contrary to popular belief, it's not men who seek divorce. It's women, by an overwhelming majority. The reasons for this are varied. Part of it is the nature of divorce laws; another part is the fact that men tend to have more problems with marriage-destroying behaviors like alcoholism, affairs, and substance abuse, that cause their wives to seek separation.

Divorce is hard on everyone. The damage divorce causes to children is usually worse than the damage caused by living in a two-parent home with marital difficulties. pular belief that children are better off if their parents divorce rather than live together. Studies show that only in a minority of
high-conflict situations is this true.

After a divorce, a woman's standard of living can be expected to drop while a man's standard of living may actually improve. Yet men suffer in other ways. Divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. This is partially due to the fact that men, unlike women, are less likely to have a strong support network to share their feelings. Whether

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Margaret Dec 27, 2007 @ 11:01 am | delete

How to have a productive fight. My husband won't work through difficulty and I want to talk things out.

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What is Your Favorite Online Marriage Enhancement Tool

Tell Me Your Online Favorite Marriage Saver

Online Marriage Saving Tools

Save My Marriage Today Secrets

Saving My Marriage Today Secrets

Contents at a Glance

Contents at a Glance

Save My Marriage Today Free Newsletter

Priceless Tips in Your Mail Box From Amy Waterman

Brain Brightening

Quick-Fun-Simple-Online

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.

Do You Freemind? Mind Mapping Software for Your Marriage Goals with a tutorial from...

Amy Waterman's Day 1 Newsletter

Risk Factors For Divorce and Why You Should Ignore Them

Ask Your Question Here About Save Your Marriage Tools

Is There a Secret For You

What is Your Favorite Online Marriage Enhancement Tool

Tell Me Your Online Favorite Marriage Saver

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Save Your Marriage Today Secrets

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