The Road to Happiness

Aristotle said "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence". Do you agree?

Ok, in the big picture of things nearly everything we do on a daily basis is in one way or another related to obtaining happiness, or at the very least avoiding pain (some people work to not have their car repossessed!). But we all know there are different levels of happiness, many indeed. Some people may be happy because they were raised to be that way, having parents that always saw the best of any situation. Unfortunately, some people are miserable not matter how circumstances are treating them in life. Why?

I think there are several reasons for this, but mostly we are as happy as we make up our minds to be (Abraham Lincoln said that first, not me!) So why don't we all just make up our minds to be happy? Great question - I'll try to answer it.
It starts with our "version" of reality, our perceptions of what reality is to us as an individual. Now, depending on your circumstances growing up, you literally had millions of different events that influenced your reality, so every person has a different version. The way you experience a trip to the beach may be totally different than my way, due to some incident that occurred to you as a child. Say you nearly were eaten by a shark once - that probably gave you "bad taste" in your mouth when trips to the beach are mentioned. See what I mean?

Yes! But I'm an adult now, I can believe anything I want to believe! True, but think about some of the things you believe in. What do you believe would make you happy? Do you have all of those things? If not, then why not? Ah-hah! That's what I thought - very few people actually have what they feel would make them happy! Do you even know, in great detail, what would make you happy? And don't say a million dollars, because that by itself rarely makes people happy. I know, at least you could try, right? Ok, make a list!
Find out what you believe in your heart would make you happy and then go for it! what are you waiting for?

If you asked someone to name the most important aspects of happiness, what do you think would be the most common answers? Let's start with maybe the top three, that should make a little bit easier. For many people a belief in God (or a higher power) is their number one source of happiness. Others who are less inclined towards religion would probably state that their close relationships are their biggest source of happiness, especially those married with children. Even those without children may say a "loving relationship" would be near the top, which can of course be defined in different ways for different types of people. After all, we all need love, right?

After those two "biggies" that would probably leave finances in the third spot most likely, at least in most polls and studies that I've seen. Even if you don't care to be rich, you still need a certain level of comfort in order to maintain a level of happiness which lasts any length of time. I'm not certain that finances wouldn't be some peoples top choice for happiness, but of course I'm trying to base my order on reality and percentages that seem more realistic, not on the basis of a small group of money-hungry individuals. Not that there's anything wrong with that%u2026

So what comes next on the list? Most studies and polls that I've read put "good health" somewhere on that list, and for good reason! No matter how great your relationships are, or how much comfort you have in life, you pretty much have to be at least somewhat healthy to enjoy them, right? Of course there are those that argue that truly enjoying life means not having to limit the food they eat, or amount of liquor they drink, because happiness for them is doing whatever they want for the joy of the moment. I don't try to change the minds of those who express those opinions, I just don't have the time or patience to get through to them! I do admit they have a right to their opinions.

As a nation, we are probably known for our tendency to overindulge a bit, especially when it comes to food. Are we the unhealthiest people on the planet? Possibly, quite possibly. Although the jury may be out on that one, we have to admit that we're a little lax in this country when it comes to good health. Not everyone of course. There are those that run their marathons, trek faithfully to the gym every day, and have taken up the vegetarian or at least a healthy diet, realizing that we must take care of the only physical container for our spirit we have. Recent polls show that about half of all Americans exercise on a weekly basis or more, which isn't all that great.

However, is that all there is to good health? Just exercise a few days a week, and watch our diet so we don't eat too much fattening foods? I really think it's more than that, I would go so far as to add these to the list:

1. Get regular checkups - they can warn us of any disease before it may be too late
2. Make sure you get enough vitamins and minerals in your diet, most people don't
3. Don't forget to relax, get a massage, or take up meditation. Stress is a real killer!
4. Get plenty of sleep; many people have problems with this. See your doctor if you can't sleep
5. Have lots of social connections, it's great for long-term health
6. Drink plenty of water
7. Don't smoke! Pretty obvious%u2026

Anyway, these are just a few tips I like to live by. We should all make an effort to live longer, happier lives and I believe that if you are taking good care of your body you are also more likely to be happy. The mind is very much linked to the body, so if one is out of balance it isn't very long until it affects the other. So do yourself a favor and take care of both, ok?

Come join us and find more happiness in your life!

Everybody you listen to these days seems to have a plan - follow my plan and you'll make a million dollars online in a week. Follow my plan and you'll find the ultimate job of your dreams. Follow my plan and you, well you get the idea, there's a plan for everything! Whether you want to find the best relationship, or the inner peace of a Buddhist monk, or set a Guiness record for juggling car tires, somewhere, someone has a plan for you to follow that will guarantee your success.

Ok, I'm sounding a little bit skeptical probably at this point. But I really got to thinking about how hard I've been working on some things lately, and the slow progress I have been making. Is it because I'm following the wrong plan? Why aren't I rich by now, or completely happy in every way? Some of my goals have been met of course, but the larger ones seem to escape me so far. Actually I am rich, although I realize that is a very vague and relative term. So what goals haven't I met yet? Well I really wanted to be able to have more time to do what I want to do, which means not working so damn much! Oh, sorry%u2026that's a sore subject I guess. What am I doing to correct the situation? Funny you should ask. I have a plan.

Wait! It's not one of those get rich quick, or find happiness by tomorrow, or reach every goal you've ever set in 30 days kind of plans. It's a three-step plan. Yes, only three. Is it guaranteed to work? Only if you do, that's a promise. But a whole lot of thought has to go into these three steps, so if you aren't prepared to really question every value in your little basket of values, then forget it. It won't work! If you are truly ready to do the work it takes to reach your dreams in life, the very essence of a successful and fulfilling life, then I guess I can let you in on it. Here goes:

Step One: Find your true calling. What the heck does that mean you say? Well, for some it's the very essence of who they are. The one thing in life that they are so good at, it's as if it just came naturally at birth. For others, it's something that they developed after seeing someone else who was really accomplished at this particular skill, and knew it would be the best thing they could possibly do in life. Then there are people who really have to work at it and try many things before realizing what they love to do, whether it's a hobby, a job, a skill, a talent or whatever you want to call it. Don't worry about how you're going to make money at it, if you're good at something there is always a way to monetize it!

Step Two: Make a plan to follow this calling. Depending on the calling you are actually following, that can be varied. You dream of being a concert pianist? No sweat, practice, practice, practice. Actually that's the same plan for a lot of things! Funny, I recently heard that in order to master any major skill it takes approximately 10,000 hours of practice. Is that true? That's about 10 years of work, if you devote only 20 hours per week. I don't think there's been extensive research done to prove it, but I don't doubt it. Most great athletes, including Tiger Woods, worked their butts off since childhood to get where they are. And people say "oh, he was born with talent". Maybe, but the hard work brought out that talent. So if you do find something you have a "knack" for, you really think you could be great at it, take a few years and work really hard at it. If you still enjoy doing it, keep going and you probably are meant for it. If not, try something else! Don't waste your life doing something you hate to do.

Step Three: Don't quit until your reach the specified goal. That's it. I mean, once you find what you enjoy doing, and you know in your heart you can be successful at it, don't even consider quitting for any reason. It's been said that the ultimate key to success, the one ingredient nobody ever succeeds without, is persistence. If you quit, you lose. Simple enough? Ok, go out there and do my three-step plan, and in 10,000 hours (give or take) drop me a line and tell me how successful you are.

Come join us and find more happiness in your life!

There are many different things that stop us from reaching our goals - some people plead ignorance, some just plain procrastinate, and others are paralyzed by fear of the unknown. The unknown being "what would happen if I take a chance and try to go back to college and fail" or something of that nature. This brings me to the subject of risk-taking. Life can be risky, or life can be dull. You just can't have it both ways though. It's either one way or the other for the most part. The thing is that without risk we never challenge ourselves, we never try new things, we never get ahead.

I know a bit about fear, believe me. I was afraid for many years to try certain things; the risk of failure was just too great. But if you think about it we don't grow as human beings without risking something in life. We don't get new jobs without some risk, we don't get a new lover without some risk, and we just don't get much of anything good in life without some risk! So what is it that holds us back, besides fear? Besides the fear of losing, the fear of being wrong, the fear of offending someone else, the fear of other people knowing something about us that makes us vulnerable, is there possibly a larger fear? How about fear of knowing that if we don't do the things in life that really matter to us, we will die knowing we could have done more? That is one of my fears, too. If you project yourself 40, 50, 60 years into the future (depending on your current age) and see yourself in the future, what do you want others to think of you? What accomplishments do you want to be able to brag about to your grand kids? What can you think of that if not master or accomplished, will leave you feeling shorted in life?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we have to strike a balance between the things we're most afraid of doing, and the things we will eventually regret if we don't do them. After all, by the time we're adults we realize that taking risks rarely results in death or dismemberment. This does not apply to the crew of Jackass, of course. For most people, taking risks involves the possibility of being embarrassed, or losing money, or breaking up a relationship, something that stings but rarely is fatal. I like to say, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" If you balance that with the best thing that could happen, the best possible outcome of your risk-taking, it's almost always worth it. Or is it? You decide for yourself, but let's look at some comparisons that I totally made up just now:

Risk #1 - Certain baseball players are notorious for their ability to get hits consistently, most notably Reggie Jackson. How often do we associate great sluggers with being risk-takers though? They are, if they want to be known as homerun kings, because it's a fact that most homerun kings also have the most strikeouts. Why? The only way to hit a homer is to fully commit to swinging as hard as you can at the pitch. Most players are too tentative, and are lucky to get a single or double. Jackson struck out 2,597 times while getting 563 home runs. Not a bad average, eh?

Risk #2 - The founding fathers of our country! Yes, our founding fathers were risking everything to break away from Great Britain. They all knew that when they gathered to write the Declaration of Independence back in 1776, if they were caught they would all most likely hang. But the risk was obviously worth it, since founding this new country was they only way to break free from the tyranny of England and arise a free nation. Great risk, great reward! I'm so glad they did, too.

Risk #3 - How about Donald Trump? Love him or hate him, he lost nearly everything back in the late 1980's but came back to score bigger than ever. How did he do it? He risked it all by telling the banks they better renegotiate his loans with them, or they would lose it all. (And that worked?) He knows that only risk-takers make it big, although sometimes they lose big too. What is the difference? Guys like Trump don't mind risking it again, starting over if necessary, trying something new, despite the odds.

Ok, those are just a few of the risky people I can mention here. I'm sure if you think about it you can name more, but what about you? Are you willing to take a risk, to start that business, or go back to college, or train for a marathon, or finally meet that women at the library you can't help thinking about (yes, I saw you checking her out)? We have to if we want to stretch ourselves, to move beyond our ordinary lives. Another way to look at it is why not go for the reward, rather than think about the risk? If you can focus on what you stand to gain the chances you will finally just "go for it" are much greater. So go ahead, get out there and take some chances, the odds are with you! Besides, I know you can do it.