Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket

A Series Of Unfortunate Events is childrens book series that is also popular with parents writen by Daniel Handler, or as you probably know him by his pen name Lemony Snicket.

Lemony Snicket Posters

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - It Gets Worse

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - Will Find You

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (Advance)

Series of Unfortunate Events - The First Book: The Bad Beginning

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The First Book: The Bad Beginning

Dear Customer,

I am sorry to tell you that this audio is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. One might say that they are magnets for misfortune.
On this recording alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast.
It is my sad duty to record these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from ignoring this audio completely and choosing something happy instead, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Second Book: The Reptile Room

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Second Book: The Reptile Room

Dear Customer,

If you reading this, you have probably not read the warning so clearly outlined in my prior message. This story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire orphans spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle. But don't be fooled.

The three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odour, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp and the reappearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again.
I have made a solemn vow to present this information to the public, but there is nothing stopping you from tearing up this paper and pretending you've never heard of this audio. Then you can sell something that is less unpleasant.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Third Book: The Wide Window

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Third Book: The Wide Window

Dear Customer,

If you have not heard anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you listen to even one sentence you should know this: Violet, Klaus and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I'm sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.

If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this audiobook will probably fill you with despair.

I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly bear the responsibility of exposing others to this miserable story.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Fourth Book: The Miserable Mill

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Fourth Book: The Miserable Mill

Dear Customer,

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this audio because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the volumes describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, this might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumbermill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.

These include, I'm sorry to inform you, such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.

I have promised to record the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if your customers prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Fifth Book: The Austere Academy

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Fifth Book: The Austere Academy

Dear Customer,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. You might expect that Violet, Klaus and Sunny would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives.

Within the chapters of this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and recording the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other tape.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Sixth Book: The Ersatz Elevator

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Sixth Book: The Ersatz Elevator

Dear Customer,

Like the previous downloads in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be found in this narration but misery, despair and discomfort. This time, Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway and parsley soda.

I have sworn to record these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to listen to something else instead you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Seventh Book: The Vile Village

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Seventh Book: The Vile Village

You have undoubtedly picked up information about this audio by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would listen to this particular story about the lives of Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on our audiobook.

We can think of no single reason why anyone would want to listen to an audiobook containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats.

It is our solemn and sacred occupation to research and publish each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and record them all, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as stocking another audiobook instead.

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Eighth Book: The Hostile Hospital

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Eighth Book: The Hostile Hospital

Before you throw this awful audio to the ground and run as far away from it as possible, ou should probably know why. This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it ont of the most dreadful audios in the world.

There are many pleasant things to listen to, but this audio contains not one of them. Within it are such burdensome details as a suspicious shop-keeper, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to hear about such things.

I have sworn to research this story, and to record it as best I can, so I should know that this audio is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Ninth Book: The Carnivorous Carnival

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Ninth Book: The Carnivorous Carnival

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this audiobook, means "meat-eating", and once you have heard such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to listen any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby.

Sadly our time is filled with researching and recording the displeasing and disenchanting lives of the Baudelaire orphans. But your time might be better filled with something more palatable, such as eating your vegetables, or feeding them to someone else.

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Tenth Book: The Slippery Slope

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Tenth Book: The Slippery Slope

Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over.

The tenth book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details, such as snow gnats, an organized troupe of youngsters, an evil villain with a dastardly plan, a secret headquarters, and some dangerous antics you should not try at home.

This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.

Series of Unfortunate Events - The Eleventh Book: The Grim Grotto

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Series of Unfortunate Events - The Eleventh Book: The Grim Grotto

Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over.

The eleventh book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details.

This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.

Series of Unfortunate Events - Book The Twelfth: The Penultimate Peril

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Series of Unfortunate Events - Book The Twelfth: The Penultimate Peril

Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over.

The twelth book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details.

This is one chilling recording you would be better off without.