Can you Make Small Talk, or Are You Usually Tongue Tied?
We have all been in situations that call for Small Talk. Your supervisor invites you to a little soiree. No one else in the office was invited. Did it mean you're slotted for the promotion? You know you need to go, you want to go, but your boss is the only one you will know.
Your husband comes home from work waving an embossed invitation to his boss's annual Christmas party. Receiving the invitation was an honor and your husband RSVP'd on the spot. You only met his boss once and he intimidated the devil out of you, but an accident resulting in a full body cast and a team of doctors won't get you out of attending the party.
The guy you've been drooling over for the last six months finally asks you out, or the guy you've been dating for six months is finally taking you home to meet his mama.
For some, Small Talk is easy, but for the shy or the socially inept, expecting them to make small talk is akin to asking a teenager to keep his room clean. They can do it, but it's not easy.
I'm not easy in social situations but I've found that following these simple guidelines can make all the difference in the world.
Contents at a Glance
Small Talk is conversation for its own sake. It is a social skill and one that can be mastered. It's worth the effort. Master the skill and you will come across as an open and friendly person rather than standoffish or shy.
Don't throw yourself into the situation blind. Prepare for the event.
If it's a party, learn what you can about the people on the guest list.
Read. Don't limit yourself to the newspaper. Read magazines, flyers, even cookbooks can be a source of small talk topics.
Pay attention. How does the chatty girl down the hall manage to draw you into a conversation every time you see her?
Small Talk: The Art of Socialising
Small Talk: The Art of Socialising
Amazon Price: $5.95 (as of 12/22/2009)
Small Talk: The Art of Successful Socialising provides all the practical information you need to boost your confidence and be prepared to embrace any social gathering.
Practice! Practice! Practice!
Practice Makes Perfect
Small talk is a skill and as with any skill, it take time and practice to develop. Chat with the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Carry on a three-minute conversation with the librarian as you check out your books. Talk to the clerks as you make purchases. Stop and chat with your neighbor before escaping into your house. Use a mirror and talk to yourself. If you're normally a mouse in the corner, there's little risk that you'll turn into a Chatty Patty, but watch it. Excessive chatter is worse than silence. The Fine Art of Small Talk
The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills -- and Leave a Positive Impression!
Amazon Price: $13.56 (as of 12/22/2009)
The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine an excellent book for anyone who is tired of feeling awkward and tongue-tied in social situations. It offers tips on starting, maintaining, and ending a conversation. It is an excellent resource for anyone looking to improve their social skills.
Conversation Starters
Don't wait for the person you are expected to chat with to start the conversation. Putting them at ease will put you at ease. There are the classic conversation starters such as the weather, the game televised the night before, what their wearing. They're classics because they usually work. Striking up a conversation about the food you're sharing is another option. There are a million options, the picture on the wall, the setting, the usual traffic snarl on the freeway at five%u2026Once the conversation is rolling, keep it going. Be an attentive listener. Make eye contact and don't forget to smile.
Communication Skills
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Learn How to Listen
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Most people assume they are good listeners. They hear what is being said and some can even repeat it back verbatim. Unfortunately hearing what was said does not make you a good listener. Listening means paying attention and making a conscious effort...
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Developing Effective Communication Skills
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We learn to speak as toddlers and communicate with our world from there on out. Our ability to Communicate Effectively with the people around us has a profound impact on our lives. It sets the tone in interpersonal relationships. It affects how our s...
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Nonverbal Communication: Reading the Signals
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When we interpret the meaning of someone's statement, it is not just the words we need to tune into. The nonverbal factors such as gestures, tone, and facial expressions tell us so much more. Words can be manipulated but nonverbal cues are hard t...
Are you at ease in large social gatherings?
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Reply
- sam3erry sam3erry Sep 10, 2009 @ 6:46 am
- very nice lens ;)
quite cool 5*
cheers
sam
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Reply
- WindyWinters WindyWinters Jul 26, 2009 @ 2:44 am
- It seems I'm the only one here that will admit that they are good at small talk. I worked in customer service & front-line office work for 35 years! I had no choice, lol! :)
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- paperfacets paperfacets Apr 2, 2009 @ 6:08 pm
- I sometimes even freeze. My mind actually goes blank and I always think the conversation stalling is my fault. I avoid large parties.
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- kab kab Mar 21, 2009 @ 11:01 am
- I am awful at small talk. I just cannot seem to pretend to be interested if I am not.
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- monarch13 monarch13 Mar 19, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
- I get bored easily, but I have learned how to appear interested in the mundane...
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About the Author
Lensmaster ElizabethJeanAllen has been a member since March 16 2008, has rated 4,015 lenses, favorited 445, and has created 200 lenses from scratch. Lizzy Jean donates their royalties to Squidoo Charity Fund. This member's top-ranked page is "2009 Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments". See all my lenses
What Every BODY is Saying
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People
Amazon Price: $13.59 (as of 12/22/2009)
Understanding nonverbal messages is vital in many jobs today. Mr. Navarro provides a practical and constructive guide to reading body language. Not only will it help you read others, it will help you control the nonverbal messages we inadvertently send. What Every BODY is Saying is an excellent resource in the workplace and in everyday life.
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by ElizabethJeanAllen
I tell my students to Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, and Plan for the Future. With Squidoo I can do all three.
