The Art of Small Talk

Don't throw yourself into the situation blind. Prepare for the event.

If it's a party, learn what you can about the people on the guest list.

Read. Don't limit yourself to the newspaper. Read magazines, flyers, even cookbooks can be a source of small talk topics.

Pay attention. How does the chatty girl down the hall manage to draw you into a conversation every time you see her?

Small talk is a skill and as with any skill, it take time and practice to develop. Chat with the person next to you in line at the grocery store. Carry on a three-minute conversation with the librarian as you check out your books. Talk to the clerks as you make purchases. Stop and chat with your neighbor before escaping into your house. Use a mirror and talk to yourself. If you're normally a mouse in the corner, there's little risk that you'll turn into a Chatty Patty, but watch it. Excessive chatter is worse than silence.

Don't wait for the person you are expected to chat with to start the conversation. Putting them at ease will put you at ease. There are the classic conversation starters such as the weather, the game televised the night before, what their wearing. They're classics because they usually work. Striking up a conversation about the food you're sharing is another option. There are a million options, the picture on the wall, the setting, the usual traffic snarl on the freeway at five...

Once the conversation is rolling, keep it going. Be an attentive listener. Make eye contact and don't forget to smile.