"What is a Swiss Army Octopus?"
The Swiss Army Octopus is a strangely specialized creature found in the cold coastal waters of Switzerland. The Swiss Army discovered that they had an amazing affinity for wielding useful tools for every situation. A company who kept a saltwater tank with one of these babies in it never had to look for a spare can opener or screwdriver. Unfortunately for the octopus, the Swiss did not have bulletproof glass at the time.
"Are we at risk?"
Since their discontinuation after the creation of the Swiss Army knife, Swiss Army Octopi have become increasingly restless. Can you blame them? Replaced by a pocket-sized contraption and dropped back into the ocean, there's no question that some of them are still bitter. Attacks on divers are usually reported when the victim is in possession of a Swiss Army knife.
"How can we protect ourselves?"
Attacks from a territorial Swiss Army Octopus can be easily avoided in several ways: First, never carry a Swiss Army knife near their habitat. ...it's like wearing a red flag to a bull fight. Second, carry a tough-to-open can or bottle on you at all times. Toss it to the octopus to buy yourself a few seconds to escape. Third, you can show your support for the plight of these magnificent creatures by wearing one of their t-shirts. For your own safety, and the safety of your loved ones, we recommend that you preorder one of these beautiful Swiss Army Octopus t-shirts from martinwhitmore.com.
"What do they WANT?"
The Swiss Army Octopus is a proud creature. They do not want your charity. All they want is another chance! So, if you're one of the millions of people worldwide who has a portable salt-water aquarium, and you find yourself using a Swiss Army knife or other utility tool, consider adopting one of these useful animals for yourself. Never again be at a loss for a pair of scissors or a corkscrew! You'll always know that if you need a file or a knife, you'll need to look no further than your octopus. However, make sure you learn a lesson from the Swiss National Guard, 103rd platoon of 1907: Never give your octopus a gun.
Support the Swiss Army Octopus!
You can obtain your Swiss Army Octopus traditional garb by visiting the Meat Market at martinwhitmore.com and preordering your very own Swiss Army Octopus t-shirt.The cephalopods are watching, and they are grateful.
by worldmegan
Greatly a-fear'd that one lens means an inevitable many, the Megan (who is intensely interested in many subjects) has embarked upon a marvelous journe... (more)
