Fable Rewrite

(illus: A surprised and amused looking cartoonish white rabbit [the hare] looked at the tortoise as the tortoise went by, oblivious.)

(illus: Hare laughing and pointing at the tortoise, who is looking dejectedly at the ground. They are in a lightly forested area with some trees, grass and flowers but you can see a bit of a dirt road in the background. There are a squirrel and a couple of birds in the trees, squirrel was holding his hands over his mouth while laughing, the birds were twittering at each other and pointing their wings at the tortoise. A raccoon was halfway out of a knothole on his back, grasping his stomach and laughing at the tortoise. A fox just visible between trees and grass was grinning, his tongue lolling out, a skunk was in the flowers watching, and a deer near the edge of picture, standing in the background [too small to see facial expression])

(illus: The scene is similar to page one except the animals are now all listening intently)

(illus: The skunk holds the black and white checkered flag as he stands next to the dirt road. It's obvious the skunk has just waved the flag to signal the start of a race. The rest of the woodland animals are now gathered on the edge of the road at the start of the race as well. The hare, who is grinning , has started taking off down the road, and is a good five or ten paces in front of the tortoise, who has taken just about one step past the skunk. The tortoise looks utterly unconcerned.)

(illus: The rabbit is hiding behind a tree on the side of the road, peeking around to see if he can see the tortoise. The rabbit is wearing an inquisitive expression. The rabbit has blue droplets of sweat on his white fur and his cheeks are flushed. The tortoise is very small from this perspective because he is far away.)

(illus: The tortoise has just plodded past the tree and is looking straight ahead, focused on the finish line, determined. The rabbit is laying on his back with his head and the tops of his shoulders resting against the tree, his long legs are crossed, his "fingers" laced across his chest, and his eyes closed. Maybe there are little z's rising from his head.)

(illus: All of the woodland animals that were at the starting line appear again at the finish. The tortoise is just crossing the finish line, he's just broken the ribbon strung across the road and the ribbon is trailing slightly behind him at the ends [only slightly, since he's just broken it]. He has a contented smile on his face. Behind him, the rabbit is sitting up, still under the tree, rubbing his eyes, which have nearly popped out of his head, in disbelief. His ears are standing straight up and his mouth forms an "O")

(illus: Just black words on a white page. Maybe a tortoise with no background).

(illus: The scene is much like that on page one [woodland animals included, but not laughing] except that instead of pointing and laughing at the tortoise, the hare is standing with one arm thrown over the tortoises shell, and for the first time in the book the tortoise is smiling with more than just content, and the rabbit looks happy but solemn.)