Teen Dating

The time has come in your life when you are ready to start dating. For most teenagers, dating can be a fun time, or a dreaded time. Feelings can get easily hurt by lust, infatuation, and love. For teenagers with raging hormones, emotions can be confused quickly. Many teenagers look at dating as their "rite of passage" into losing their virginity. Most parents will quickly disagree that their teenager is sexually active, and refuse to even discuss proper dating with their child. If you have a teenager, or you are a teenager, here are some tips about teen dating:

Know the Difference
While your emotions can be confused from friendship to love, you need to clear your head and start thinking logically. Lust is purely an emotion of attraction (often sexual attraction). Infatuation includes lust and allowing an obsession with the person to control your thoughts and actions. Finally, there is love. Love must be a mutual feeling between two people. Teenager often confuse love with sex. Claiming that the person they lost their virginity to is their true love. Of course with all these emotions you are bound to experience happiness, joy and excitement. Don't let these feelings cloud your judgment into believing you are truly in love. With love you can also experience feelings of anger, jealousy and frustration. Teenagers who believe they are in love will usually experience these emotions along with the happy ones. This is not love. When you are jealous that your boyfriend or girlfriend is going on a family vacation, this is called infatuation.

What happens to teenagers who think they are in love is the desire to become physically intimate with that person. If you are not careful about taking this step, you can wind up with a few problems such as: pregnancy, STDs, stalkers, and hurt feelings. Some teenagers become obsessed with the individual they slept with and pursue them too heavily. This is why it is important to wait before you have sex. You need to build a strong relationship with a person and really get to know them before you sleep with them. Decide if you really want to have sex before you feel pressured into having sex. Love and sex should not be forced upon anyone; they should come when you are ready.

Start dating by being honest. Be upfront about your values and your desires. If your feelings of love are rejected, you may be deeply hurt. This is common among many teenagers, who wind up trying to find ways to hurt the other person. Reality says that you are a teenager who just needs to have fun when dating and not get too emotionally attached to anyone. Try to have group dates versus single dates, so you don't develop false hope when you are asked out by one individual.

Parental Rules for Teen Dating
The scary age for many parents is when their teenagers want to begin dating. By this age, they are attracted to other teenagers and probably hang out with friends of both sexes. Before your teenager begins dating, it is important to discuss a few things with them.
Many parents have found that it is easy to discuss rules for dating in regular conversation. Teen dating is a great way to build relationships, learn how to make decisions, and learn how to become assertive. The skills teens learn when dating will help them as they prepare to become adults. Here is some advice to help you as a parent with your teen that is dating. Start by setting the ground rules. Although dating allows teens freedom to make their own decisions, they should also have ground rules about dating. Establish rules with your teen together. You may be the type of parent who wants to know who your child is hanging out with; this is a great rule to start with. This way, if something bad does happen on the date, you know how to contact the parents of the other teen.

Your teen should inform you about the details of the date, who he/she is, where they are going, what they will be doing, who else will be there, and what time they will be home. This is also a time you should discuss alcohol and drug use. If your teen find themselves in an uncomfortable situation, you should discuss that you will be available to pick them up.

Another thing you should do for your teenager is make yourself available to talk to them after their date. Dating is very important to teens and it is important for you as a parent to stay involved and make sure they are building healthy relationships.

Teen dating tips
Now that you have established the basics with your parents, its time to hit the dating scene. Here are some great tips to keep in mind when you begin dating:
1. Your date deserves respect.
2. Be upbeat and positive. No one likes being with someone who is considered a "downer".
3. Never force your date to do anything they are uncomfortable with doing. This doesn't just mean kissing or sex, this can mean swimming, bungee-jumping, or other activities they may not feel comfortable doing. (Drug and alcohol abuse are included here too)
4. Plan the date before you go on it. The worst thing you can do is pick up your date and then say "so what do you want to do?"
5. Ask questions and actually listen to what your date is saying. This will help you both get to know each other better.
6. Never give into peer pressure.
7. Be comfortable with who you are and radiate confidence in yourself. You have to believe in yourself if you hope to be successful.

Another great way to start dating is to begin with group dating. This allows for a low-pressure environment for each party involved. It is also safer for teens to be in group setting than one on one. You are able to enlist the help of your friends if you are shy, this way you don't just stare at your date all night! Parents also love group dating as they don't have to worry about their child being alone with just one person.

If you think you would like to take your teen dating experience into a relationship, here are a couple tips to keep in mind:

Ask yourself how comfortable you feel with that person. Do they treat you with respect? Do you have fun with this person? Dating should be an enjoyable experience that doesn't include pressure to do anything you don't want to do. If the person you are dating is pressuring you to do something you do not feel comfortable with, you should get out of the relationship before it develops into something you do not want.

Do you feel safe when you are with this person? This is a big concern for many parents of teens. You should always feel comfortable and safe around the person you are involved with. If you feel like the person could do something to you, or could hurt you, then you should cease dating them immediately.

Going along with having fun, you should share similar interests and hobbies. It is always easier to talk to someone who enjoys the same things you do.

If you aren't sure what to do on a date, here are some tips to help you plan the date before you pick them up:
1. Go hiking, swimming, bowling, or to a comedy club. Each of these activities will allow you a chance to actually talk to your date.
2. Get a group together and play beach volleyball.
3. Charades is another fun game to play with a group.
4. Take your date to an outdoor movie. This is fun because you can set up a little picnic and watch the movie together, while cuddling in a blanket.
5. Gather a group and have a cookout in the mountains. Cooking hot dogs over a fire is actually a lot of fun and then you can make tasty smores after!
6. Play laser tag, paintball, or hit softballs. We aware that paint balling may involve getting painful bruises, so be sure to tell your date and her/his parents before you go.
7. Play miniature golf
8. Go to a theme park or carnival
9. Race car driving is another fun activity
10. Ice skating or roller skating
11. Go to a concert or sporting event
No matter what type of activity you do, be sure to keep it pressure free for everyone involved. Remember, dating should be fun, not scary or stressful. As long as you plan out the date, respect them, and go into the date with self confidence, you will have a great time.

For parents, don't be too pushy on your teen about sex and dating advice. Things have changed from when you were a teenager! Be sure to be upfront and honest with your teen, and listen to them when they want to talk.