My Opinion/The Good Old Days

When I was young, I use to hear my Aunt Katie say to my Nanny, "Things were different when we were growing up". Hearing that as a child, I use to roll my eyes (without anyone being able to see me) and think that, quite honestly, they were a bit batty. Of course, things were different I would think. After all, you grew up when dinosaurs roamed the earth. (I had a pretty vivid imagination and they seemed ancient to me). They were probably younger than I am now!

As I have grown, became an adult, raised my family and am now enjoying my grandchildren, I now know what they were talking about. Our society has changed. Some changes have, of course, been for the good. However, that is not the case in many things.

As a child, my parent's word was LAW. You didn't question it; you didn't argue with it. If you did, your backside was going to hurt for awhile. As a child, my teacher's word was LAW. You didn't question it; you didn't argue with it. If you did, your backside was going to hurt not only in school but when you got home. As a child, any adult's word was LAW. You didn't question it; you didn't argue with it. If you did, your backside was going to hurt right then and later when they told your parents what you had done. Get the picture?

I was raised in a small town. I didn't have one set of parents; my parents were the parents of every child in my town. Don't think you could go downtown and do something that would embarrass your parents without hearing about it right then. Also, that very evening, your phone would ring and you would sit in fear just knowing that your parents were hearing what you did. I am surprised I didn't end up with a permanently calloused butt. However, I learned respect for my elders and I watched my P's and Q's. For some reason, spankings and spending time in my room was not my favorite past-time.

I can remember getting up in the morning in the summer, having breakfast and never making it back home till it was supper time. It didn't matter whose house I was at during lunch time, there was no question that I was going to have something to eat. Neighbors were family and you take care of your family. If, at some point in the day, your mother needed you, all she had to do was step out on the front porch and call your name. With that, the "Public Alert System" went into action. Another mother would hear and, if you weren't there, she would start calling your name. This would continue till the mother of the child you were playing with heard the call and you would be told to go home to your mother. Sometimes this took a little while but your mother never had to worry about your safety. A Neighborhood Watch never had to be organized. That is just the way we lived.

Now, if by chance, your heard those dreaded words, "You are grounded" (and that would be after the spanking) you were not a happy camper. It is not like today where kids have televisions, game systems, Ipods and toys
in their rooms. We had a bed and a dresser ~ PERIOD! Toys were not kept in your rooms because you never played there. You were outside. The thought of staying in the house was like someone sending you to jail! You could look out the window and watch your friends play but, heaven help you if you lifted that window to talk to them! It was pure agony and part of a learning process that was ingrained in parenting at that time. Children will do what they are told. End of discussion! It worked.

Okay, so now you are in school. You are talking to your girlfriend and passing notes and the teacher catches you. Uh oh, right then and there, your life flashed before your eyes. It was a trip to the principle's office where you were going to get a talking to and sometimes a spanking. After that experience, you got to hear him/her call your mother or father and you got to worry about that for the rest of the day. Your parents backed the school. Bring a law suit against the school because they used discipline? Yeah right. In your dreams. With our dear principle, a talking to was pretty much all he needed to do. Boy, could he make you feel like you were small enough to crawl under a snake's belly. Today, some organization would have a fit because your phyche was somehow hurt. Not! You were being taught that there was a time and place for everything and during class was not the time to goof off; it was a time to learn.

I do remember once in high school when I was trying to be a bit of a rebel (dare I say that?) and I got caught smoking (perish the thought) in the girl's bathroom. The Wicked Witch From The East ~ the gym teacher ~ walked in and we were busted. I felt like my stomach was being twisted in a vice because I knew this was not going to be an experience I would care to remember. I just knew that my parents were going to kill me that evening and hide my body never to be found again. Our dear principal knew that my father was an alcoholic and would possibly take the punishment further than needed. (Yes, there were times I was abused and there was never an excuse for that). He took me into his office, read me the riot act and when I felt like I was a 1/4" tall he did the most wonderful thing for me. He DIDN'T call my parents. Instead, he kicked me off the majorette squad and gave me 2 weeks worth of detention. I learned another lesson that day and that was that teachers were also there for our protection. I never stepped out of line again in high school because I so wanted his respect. He became my hero.

Never in my school experience did I know of a kid on Ritalin because they had "ADD".
Never did I know of a child on medication because they were "hyperactive". You were taught to listen and to follow orders ~ period. We didn't have a bunch of zombies walking around; we had children who respected authority of all kinds. When the class got restless (not hyperactive), it was break time. The teacher would take us outside to blow off a little steam by playing tag or dodge ball and our "hyperactivity" was gone. In my humble opinion, we don't have hyperactive kids, we have kids who are so glued to the television or game system that they have forgotten what playing is all about and fresh air is something they get between the house and the car.

I watch these very young children; sometimes as young as 18 months, tell their mother's "No" or slap their mothers and get away with it. I think if I had tried that as a child, I would STILL be in my room staring at the ceiling. I usually end up laughing at the temper tantrums these little wonders "use" on their parents. They know exactly what they are doing! They are getting their way by making their parents miserable having to listen to their screaming. My very own grand daughter had one while visiting us once. She want to the kitchen, threw herself very dramatically to the floor and, from the other room, you would have thought someone was cutting her arms off with a dull knife. I peaked around the corner and watched her lay there on her tummy, chin in hands pretending to cry. There was not a tear on this precious little imp's face. I had to laugh. She didn't get her way.

I go back to high school and I know of not one classmate that spoke of or attempted suicide. That was a preposterous thought. Parents were parents. If they had a "problem child" they didn't call in a psychiatrist, they took care of the problem. Their children were not put on drugs to get them through this "rough time". Of course, the parents didn't have a medicine cabinet full of drugs either. I think the strongest medication we ever had in the house was adult and children's aspirin. Now, it is rare to hear of anyone not on something for depression or a sleep aid ~ they seem to be given out like candy. No wonder we have so many people; young and old, dying of overdoses. Why face reality when you can push it to the background with some drug???

When children got home from school, they did their homework in their rooms. We didn't have calculators, we actually had to use paper and pencil and figure it out on our own. We didn't have computers to help us with our papers, we actually had to use the encyclopedia and write our own words. I am not saying that calculators and computers are bad; I am just saying that we had to know the basics. I see a lot of lazy children being raised and this is proven time and time again when it is discovered that term papers are actually copied off of someone's web site. I look at these kids that are working today and, without the register figuring out what the proper change should be, they are lost. If you give them the proper change for something that costs $4.52 and they enter that you have paid with a $5.00 bill, they actually go into a panic because they have to figure out the change. This should not be a problem for a high school student!

Families use to sit down to the supper table TOGETHER, without the television on and actually have a conversation. So often now, the children are in front of the television watching cartoons while eating and never interact with their parents. What a wonderful family time they are missing. Television use to be something that was watched as a family also. Now, kids have control of the remote and have a fit if something they want to watch is not on. Very young kids know how to use the remote and even put in their own DVDs. If the remote is lost, even the parents get upset. Heaven forbid someone should actually have to get up to turn the set on or change a channel.

In my humble opinion, it is time for parents to go back to being parents. Take back control of the home, stop giving in to demanding children and start a family of unity and respect. A combination of decipline and love is in order and long past due. Ahhhh, The Good Old Days!!