The Sandwich Generation--Tips and Resources for Caregivers

You've heard of the Baby Boomer Generation, the Me Generation, and Generation X. But what is the Sandwich Generation and are you a part of it?

The Sandwich Generation is the term that refers to adults who are balancing the care of an elderly loved one while at the same time raising children.

It requires some intense concentration, hard work, and amazing strength as well as great patience and creativity.

If your life includes any of the following scenarios then you are part of the Sandwich Generation:

• I have to redirect my elderly parent almost as often as I have to redirect my preschool child/children.


• I provide transportation to Dr. appoinments for my Dad and transportation to soccer practice for my daughter.


• While I supervise my son in completing his math homework I also count the number of pills to give my mother to make sure that she receives the proper medication for the evening.


• Constipation is a big deal and a major concern in my home.


• I rarely go to such places as the mall, the zoo, or a museum and when I do I go alone or with a friend and feel guilty until I get home.


• I never feel like I am doing enough.

Balancing the demands of caring for your children and your parents at the same time is a tough job--one that none of us would likely choose for ourselves--but it is necessary and it is also possible to survive it.

Let's face it, being a member of the Sandwich Generation is a lot like being a rubber band--you are pulled and popped and stretched way beyond your limits.

One of the things that can leave you limp and feeling like you have reached your breaking point is leaving your home for an appoinment or to get the kids to school on time.

Here are 10 things you can do ahead of time to help you always be prepared to dash out the door.

1. Keep a supply bag stocked and near the door. (see below for a list of things to include)

2. Streamline the tasks you must do in the morning. This may require you to lower your standards, but the stress it will save you will be worth it.

3. Keep extra copies of necessary documents handy so that you can grab them when you need them.

4. Simplify your children's wardrobes (think school uniforms). Buy clothing that can be mixed and matched to make choosing an outfit easier.

5. If it can be done the night before--DO IT! Everything from children's baths to packing lunches to choosing outfits. Don't forget to choose outfits for EVERYONE.

6. Make children responsible for themselves. Teach them to wake up to an alarm clock, to dress themselves, and to prepare a simple breakfast for themselves.

7. Have a central calendar where each family member is reponsible to add their activities (Mom and Dad can help the younger ones.) This will help all of you to know what the next day's schedule looks like so that you can plan ahead for what needs to be brought along and what the timetable will look like.

8. Get an easy to style haircut and a simple makeup routine. This is not the time of your life to spend a lot of time grooming.

9. Realize that there will be days when you will be late and forgive yourself for them now.

10. Be aware of each family member's abilities and limitations. If you are likely to be up half the night with a baby or an Alzheimer's patient then avoid early morning departures.

Entertaining a two year old while ensuring that your elderly mother is safe and content can be challenging.

I care for my mother who has Alzheimer's Disease and various other health problems and I also have a 2 year old son. Sometimes it seems as though I have two preschoolers to care for.

While the challenges of being a caregiver for a person with dementia varies from some other caregiving situations these tips will help you to make your environment safer no matter what situation you are in.

1.Monitor your home for tripping hazards. My little boy rarely stays still and my Mom is unsteady on her feet. Ensuring that there are no loose cords, area rugs, or furniture blocking walkways will help to prevent falls.

2. Keep choking hazards out of reach. Little ones are notorious for putting EVERYTHING in their mouths and a person with dementia or failing eyesight can get confused about what is edible and what is dangerous.

3. Be sure that all medication bottles and containers have child safety lids. If your elderly family member has trouble opening them help with this task.

If they are angry about not being independent in this area explain to them the importance of keeping the medications away from the children. Let them know that you are on their team, but that you also have to consider the safety of everyone.

Thankfully babies are very forgiving, probably because they have short memories. They won't know if you don't "do everything right."

But they do require a lot of work and they also need you 24/7.

Here are some suggestions on how to keep baby happy and make sure you and your elderly parent is cared for also.

1. Get help! When someone offers, make a suggestion. Don't be a martyr. You CANNOT do this alone. Let others help you and later (much later) you can return the favor.

2. Put your family on a schedule--baby included. Much has been said about babies and schedules, and I won't repeat it here, but know that if your infant wakes you up four times every night between 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. and your parent gets up at 7:00 a.m. and needs your full time attention you will not do either one of them any good. Train your baby to eat at certain times of the day so that you can get some sleep.

3. Speaking of sleep, nap when your baby naps as often as possible.

4. Lower your standards. Keep clutter cleared away and try to wash at least one load of laundry each day, but if you have to leave the dishes piled in the sink for a few hours or over night--DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! There are more important things to focus your energy on.

5. Don't be afraid to let Grandma or Grandpa help with the baby. Cuddling, singing, rocking. These are all perfect grandparent jobs.

6. Your infant does not need every baby gadget and entertainment ever invented. Too much stuff adds to the cluter in your home and can become a tripping hazard if you are too crowded.

7. Enjoy this time! Your baby will be small for only a few months. Don't allow the stress of all the demands on your time prevent you from just cherishing the moments.