The secret and the kids

"Little tiny dreams,require little tiny thoughts and little tiny steps.Great big dreams require great big thoughts and little tiny steps. Do I paint a clear picture?"

"You waking up to the truth of your magnificence and power, knowing, at last, that you're not alone and that you've never been judged.

That life is a playground, not a laboratory; an adventure, not a test. Knowing that you are exactly who you dreamed you'd become, and exactly who the world most needs you to be.

And, perhaps most of all, knowing that your thoughts create, your words shape, and your deeds summon energies befitting gods and goddesses."

~The Universe~

Come with me to learn:

* How to Best Tap into the Power of Your Inner Being
* Thoughts are Things - Understanding the Law of Attraction
* Thought Control - How to Attain Mastery of Your Thought Process
* Thinking Big - How to Expand Your Vision of Where You Want to Be
* Speed Manifesting - The Process For Powerfully Manifesting Abundance
* The Forces of Power - Desire, Belief and Expectancy
* The Secret to Wealth - Inspired Ideas and Definite Action

1)Set a constant, positive example for your kids.

A child naturally observes and models the behaviours of those closest to them so watch what you are doing around your child.

2) Break the "negative cycle" we often experience with parenting.

Positive reinforcement can shape behaviour by providing the child with a pleasant consequence for engaging in a desired behaviour.

Recognise and respond when a child has made an effort and ignore bad or inappropriate behaviours. Often we overlook desired behaviours because they are not troublesome, and respond more often to undesired behaviours.

Of all the wisdom I have gained, the most important is the knowledge that time and health are two precious assets that we rarely recognize or appreciate until they have been depleted. As with health, time is the raw material of life. You can use it wisely, waste it, or even kill it.

To accomplish all we are capable of, we would need a hundred lifetimes. If we had forever in our mortal lives, there would be no need to set goals, plan effectively, or set priorities. We could squander our time and perhaps still manage to accomplish something, if only by chance. Yet in reality, we're given only this one life span on earth to do our earthly best.

Each human being now living has exactly 168 hours per week. Scientists can't invent new minutes, and even the super rich can't buy more hours. Queen Elizabeth the First of England, the richest, most powerful woman on earth of her era, whispered these final words on her deathbed: "All my possessions for a moment of time!"

We worry about things we want to do - but can't - instead of doing the things we can do - but don't. How often have you said to yourself, "Where did the day go? I accomplished nothing," or "I can't even remember what I did yesterday"? That time is gone, and you never get it back.

Staring at the compelling distractions on a television screen is one of the major consumers of time. You can enjoy and benefit from the very best it has to offer in about seven total hours of viewing per week. But the average person spends more than thirty hours per week in a semi-stupor, escaping from the priorities and goals he or she never gets around to setting. The irony is that the people we are watching are having fun achieving their own goals, making money, having us look at them enjoying their careers.

Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire today. If you've just frittered away an hour procrastinating, you will still be given the next hour to start on priorities. Time management contains one great paradox: No one has enough time, and yet everyone has all there is. Time is not the problem; the problem is separating the urgent from the important.

Every decision we make has an "opportunity cost." Every decision forfeits all other opportunities we had before we made it. We can't be two places at the same time.

In their excellent management book "Tradeoffs," Drs. Greiff and Munter discuss the difficult options that face us in all areas of our lives. One case in point illustrates a common opportunity cost. It's a true anecdote they call, "Bicycle vs. Mother":

"John is a precocious eight-year-old boy. Both his parents work. His mother is a management consultant and travels frequently. After being away for several days, she arrived home late one night and hugged her son.

He said, 'Mom, I missed you. Why were you away so long?'

She smiled and replied, 'One of the reasons I was away was to make enough money to buy you the bicycle you wanted.'

Young John looked at her reflectively and stated, 'Mom, I really did want the bicycle. But mothers are more important than bicycles. So please stay home more.'"

Even though we all are aware of the tradeoffs of "quality time vs. quantity time" in our relationships, we are not used to thinking specifically about how our decisions cost us other opportunities. Without this understanding, our decisions will often be unfocused and unrelated to helping us achieve our most important goals.

You may have heard the story about the analogy of the "circus juggler" to each of us as we try to balance our personal and professional priorities. I have heard the story repeated by many keynote speakers and have used it in previous books, but have never been able to trace the identity of the original author.

When the circus juggler drops a ball, he lets it bounce and picks it up on the next bounce without losing his rhythm or concentration. He keeps right on juggling. Many times we do the same thing. We lose our jobs, but get another one on the first or second bounce. We may drop the ball on a sale, an opportunity to move ahead, or in a relationship, and we either pick it up on the rebound or get a new one thrown in to replace what we just dropped.

However, some of the balls or priorities we juggle don't bounce. The more urgent priorities associated with self-imposed deadlines and workloads have more elasticity than the precious, delicate relationships which are as fragile as fine crystal. Balance involves distinguishing between the priorities we juggle that bounce from the ones labeled "loved ones," "health," and "moral character" that may shatter if we drop them.

The reason I always ask my seminar attendees to list the benefits of reaching their goals is so they can arrange them in the true order of importance to them and give them a sufficient amount of attention as they juggle them within their time constraints. Handle your priorities with care. Some of them just don't bounce!

To live a rich, balanced life we need to be more in conscious control of our habits and lifestyles. Actualized individuals have a regular exercise routine. They pay attention to nutrition, with lean source protein and fiber-based carbohydrates as their basic food choices. They relax through musical, cultural, artistic, and family activities. They get sufficient sleep and rest to meet the next day renewed and invigorated.

In addition to blocking periods of time for recreation and vacations, they also schedule large, uninterrupted periods of work on their most important projects. Contrary to popular notions, most books, works of art, invention, and musical compositions are created during uninterrupted time frames, not by a few lines, strokes, or notes every so often. Every book or audio program I have written has been done with the discipline of twelve to fifteen hours per day during a specific block of time.

True enough, I may have sacrificed a ski trip or an escape vacation once or twice. But by trying to focus on prime projects in prime time, the opportunity costs have been outweighed by the return on invested resources.

With your material, time, and energy resources allocated well, you should be able to use your innovative powers to focus on goal achievement. Effective priority management creates freedom. Freedom provides opportunity to make decisions. We make our decisions and our decisions, over time, make us.

Freedom from urgency... that's what will allow us to live a rich and rewarding life. You may have thought your problem was "time starvation," when in truth, it was in the way you assigned priorities in your decision-making process. Have you allowed the urgent to crowd out the important?

Each day we will continue to encounter deadlines we must meet and "fires," not necessarily of our own making, we must put out. Endless urgent details will always beg for attention, time, and energy. What we seldom realize is that the really important things in our life don't make such strict demands on us, and therefore we usually assign them a lower priority.

Our loved ones understand when we are preoccupied with our urgent business, but it's hard for us to understand, many years later, why they appear preoccupied when we finally find some time for them. Harry Chapin's classic song, "The Cat's in the Cradle," is still a mirror reflecting our priorities.

All the important arenas in our life are there awaiting our decisions. But they don't beg us to give them our time. The local university doesn't call us to advance our education and improve our life skills.

I have never received a call or e-mail from the health club I joined insisting that I show up and work out for thirty minutes each day. My bathroom scale has never insisted that I lose thirty pounds. The grocery clerks have never made me put back on the shelves the junk food I put in the cart, nor has a fast-food restaurant ever refused me a double cheeseburger and large fries because of my high cholesterol.

Nor have I ever been subpoenaed by the ocean or the mountains to appear for relaxation and solitude. Yet I receive hundreds of urgent phone messages and e-mails each week from people with deadlines.

You see, it's the easiest thing in the world to neglect the important and give in to the urgent. One of the greatest skills you can ever develop in your life is not only to tell the two apart, but to be able to assign the correct amount of time to each.

Beginning tomorrow, throughout the day, and every day thereafter, stop and ask yourself this question: "Is what I'm doing right now important to my health, well-being, and mission in life, and for my loved ones?" Your affirmative answer will free you forever from the tyranny of the urgent.

Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. Denis Waitley is one of America's most respected authors, keynote lecturers, and productivity consultants on high performance human achievement. He has inspired, informed, challenged, and entertained audiences for over 25 years visit http://www.deniswaitley.com

Author Ruben Francia is an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful consequences.

1. Carrying Message Between Parents

A child doesn't like the feeling that he or she must act as a messenger between hostile parents or carry one adult's secrets or accusations about another. Children want parents to talk with each other so that the messages are communicated the right way and so that children don't feel like they are going to mess up.

Parents must take the responsibility to talk directly with each other, especially if the topic is likely to anger the other parent. It is unfair to make your child carry messages to your "ex" because you find it too awkward or aggravating to do so yourself. It is also poor parenting to show by example to your child that you can resolve a problem with another person by not communicating or to suggest to a child that the other parent is such a monster that you cannot speak or be civil with each other.

Wherever possible, communicate directly with the other parent about matters relevant to the children, such as scheduling, visitation, health habits, or school problems.

2. Getting Involve With Money Issues

Avoid arguing and discussing child support issues in front of the children. How would you feel if you are that child hearing mom and dad arguing about your financial support? Most children upon hearing these things feel that their existence is some kind of parent's burden.

Who will pay for what and how available money should be spent are adult issues that the parents must discuss directly. Do not put your children in the middle of your child support disputes.

3. Hearing Criticisms Of The Other Parent

It hurts a child very much to hear one loved parent criticize the other loved parent. Children see themselves as half of each parent. When children hear bad things about one parent, they hear bad things about half of themselves. If they hear bad things about both their parents, they feel that both halves of them must be of little worth.

Even if you are sure you're right, try to avoid criticizing the other parent around the kids, and try to find good things to say, or don't say anything at all.

The following is a list of destructive remarks that you should not make to your child. If you find yourself saying words like these, stop and think about their impact on your child.

* You're lazy/stubborn/bad tempered, just like your mother/father.
* Your mother/father put you up to saying that.
* Your dad/mom doesn't love any of us or he/she wouldn't have left us.
* You can't trust her/him.
* He/she was just no good.
* If she/he loved you, she/he would send your support checks on time.
* Someday you'll leave me too, just like your father/mother.

All of these remarks raise fear and anxiety in children.

4. Quizzing Children About The Other Parent

Do not make your children a spy in the other parent's home. It is very difficult for a child of divorced parents to cope with feeling "caught in the middle". If they want to tell you about time spent with their other parent (and they usually don't), listen closely and politely, and then stop. If they don't volunteer any information, try simply, "Have a good time? Good."

Encourage your children to love both parents. They must not be burdened with having to align with one parent's anger against the other.

5. Taking Sides

Your child wants to love both of his or her parents. Asking your child to take your side in any situation regarding your ex-spouse can create a tremendous amount of stress for your child.

Avoid putting children in the position of having to take sides. Allow your children to continue to love both parents without being made to feel guilty or disloyal.

6. Dealing With Parent's Feeling

Complaining to your child about how lonely you are after the separation makes a child feel guilty and sad and want to "parent" you. It's not healthy for them to be consumed with worry for their parents' ability to survive.

Let your child be a child. They need the freedom to be children. It's easy, but wrong, to make your adolescent child, or even your adult child, a confidant in dealing with your recovery, your dating life, or your fears. Even if children seem capable of handling these concerns without ill effects, they rarely are.

7. Threatening To Cut Off Contact With The Children If The Other Parent Doesn't Do Or Stop Doing Something

The kids hear these threats and fear more loss in their lives. Such conduct hurts your kids and must not be continued.

Recognize that for your child to have the best chance of growing up to be a functional human male or female, he/she will need both parents as role models and nurturers. This means that there should be some pathway of getting through to the child whatever good that parent has to offer.

Anything that puts a child in the middle of dispute is unhealthy, and causes the most problems for divorcing families. If parents don't work issues through, those issues have a huge effect on their kids.

It can be hard to do, but parents can improve a situation by recognizing their divorce is from each other, not the children. Kids need to see that even though their parents might not love each other, they are committed to staying connected because of their responsibilities as parents. At time, this may seem absolutely impossible, because the parents can't tolerate the idea of being connected. Yet the child needs both of them, psychologically if not in reality.

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Have you heard of the DVD called "the Secret"? Well it isn't such a secret anymore. The DVD was released in March 2006 and according to Time Magazine, the DVD has sold 500,000 units within the first 6 months. Today it sells well over 5,000 copies a day! It ranked in Amazon's Top-5 sellers during Christmas week; and a tie-in hardcover book just entered the Top 10 on the New York times bestseller list.

The amazing thing about "the Secret" is that you won't find it in your local Blockbuster or Barnes and Noble, it is selling briskly through new-age bookstores, New Thought churches like Unity and AGape and the official website at www.thesecret.tv. "It's become the biggest selling item in the 30-year history of our store," says Harmony Rose Allor, a buyer at West Hollywood's popular metaphysical bookshop, The Bodhi Tree. it is "word-of-mouth" marketing at it best.

So what is the secret to "the Secret's" success? It's is a "transformational movie", where a person's view on life and the laws of life will no longer be the same after watching this movie. In a sense, it has created the same kind of effect as "the Da Vinci Code" and the 2004 hit cult movie "What the Bleep Do We Know". The movie has created such waves that it has already been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live and the Ellen DeGeneres show.

At the core of the movie is a central philosophy called "the Law of Attraction". In fact, the movie itself was inspired by this very same law when the producer read a book called "the Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace D. Wattles. This books was written in 1910!

This philosophy states that we create our reality, both good and bad! The message is delivered through 24 "teachers" which include prosperity preachers, chiropractic healers, relationship gurus, life coaches and motivational speakers — into one clear, cohesive voice. The movie is a "must watch" for anyone interested in taking charge of their life and in creating the life of their dreams.

Following on the success of the Secret, 3 of the core teachers - namely Bob Proctor and Jack Canfield have collaborated to produce a wealth building program called "the Secret Science of Getting Rich Seminar". This program is based on the book that inspired the movie and is set to make history as the fastest selling personal development program in history.

What is the Science of Getting Rich about? Well in the words of Wallace D. Wattles, "The ownership of money and property comes as a result of doing things in a certain way. Those who do things in this certain way, whether on purpose or accidentally, get rich. Those who do not do things in this certain way, no matter how hard they work or how able they are, remain poor. It is a natural law that like causes always produce like effects. Therefore, any man or woman who learns to do things in this certain way will infallibly get rich." The Science of Getting Rich is all about teaching how to do things in this "certain" way to create wealth.

The success of this program is built on several rock solid foundations. These factors include: the phenomenal success of "the Secret", the timeless concepts from the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles, the credibility of successful personal improvement teachers and New Thought leaders of our time, and the Internet as the distribution medium.