The swanky guide to the jetset life!

You want to be as up to date as possible. I am talking about state of the art cabinet color TV that includes a hi-fi on one side and a radio on the other. Make sure that radio can pick up the new fangled FM band. You will probably never listen to it but the potential is unlimited. Imaging being completely surrounded by the smooth sounds of Perry Como exuding from both speakers simultaneously!

Get a reel to reel tape for your bachelor pad. Yes you will never figure out how to work the thing or have anything you want to record but you will definitely impress the ladies with this state of the art technological advance.

Never be caught driving anything that's not a convertible. If a tiger or a lady is spread out on the hood in the advertisements than that is the car for you. I know it's optional but spring for a radio. Your dates will really be enhanced when Come Fly With Me, Fly Me to the Moon or How Much is that Doggie in the Window comes over the airwaves.

If you ever get bored just pull the top down and drive by something swanky. I recommend that project house in the hills overlooking Hollywood, that deluxe rotating restaurant near the airport and the Seattle space needle.

A wet bar is a must. Mood music and a rotating bed are always a plus.

Always always make sure your house has a grotto.

We had to wing our way to the coast to find the swankiest of tropical getaways. Who would have guessed it's in Anaheim of all places! That's right we are talking about Disneyland's Enchanted Tiki Room. The jungle cruise is oh so passé so totally 55 but in the Tiki Tiki Tiki Room you are invited to partake in a show featuring those state of the art audio animatronic tiki birds and you surrounded by chanting Tiki gods. Surely every red blooded American male will be enchanted by those seductive Tiki Room hostesses. Meow!

Who knows where Mr. Disney will take his audio animatronics next, but wouldn't it be a delight to see this technology in other milieus as well. Perhaps they could one day tell the story of those bloodthirsty pirates of yore, or maybe they could bring the dead back to life with a haunted attraction of some sort. The possibilities are endless!

If you crave a cocktail with your tropical getaway may I recommend the Tonga Room in San Francisco's Fairmont Hotel. It has a delightful tiki theme and it rains every half hour. There is a live band too. It covered all my favorites Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Frank Sinatra (a close personal friend, well no not really) Doris Day, and Rosemary Clooney. They even occasionally play some rock and roll for the younger crowd and this one song about a pretty woman reminded me of a saucy young redhead I once crossed paths with in the seedier part of Hollywood but that's another story. Needless to say there was something about that song that made me not take my sunglasses off for three days straight! (I even slept in them and doing that does make an unsightly mark upon ones forehead.)

Of course it goes without saying that anyplace with the word trader in front of it is going to be a hip and cool time.

Get ready get set become an official member of the jet set! You don't need a black credit card, a jar of imported mustard, a small dog in a designer sweater or an Italian sportscar. You just need a sense of adventure and this retro sixties style design to become a member. So get ready to impress the glitterati!

When eating out I recommend you always go with the steak. Sure you could try to impress that bird you are with by ordering the most foreign sounding thing on the menu but trust me this can backfire. The last time I ordered this I ended up with snails. Yes those slimy slithering creatures who usually take residence next to the happening firepit upon my swinging patio. The bird I was with looked exactly like Sophia Loren so of course I had to eat every last snail and pretend I meant to order them but it wasn't easy. (Though they were a lot more buttery than I would have expected.)

You can't go wrong with steak it's manly and with enough ketchup you can pretend its really a hamburger. Though be careful when ordering your steak tartare. It may just moo at you.

Men make sure your drink is manly. Only order a cocktail if it's a man's man's cocktail. These include martinis, sidecars, Tom Collins, cable cars, Whiskey sours, Manhattans, and Gimlets.

Ladies make sure your drink has an umbrella, a pineapple wedge, some whipped cream, sprinkles and 4 silly straws on top.

Always have a cigarette close by for when the one you are smoking burns out. You don't want to be caught empty handed. Ignore that burning sensation in your lungs and remember teeth are probably supposed to be yellow anyway. If you are absolutely completely out of cigarettes or have asthma or something its time to double fist with two high ball glasses instead of one. Then perhaps people will not notice such an alarming discrepancy that ruins the overall look of the party.

One swingin way to combat boredom is to get involved in a heist of some sort. Rule number one is don't get caught. Prison has no style and those garments they make you wear are really scratchy. (Trust me on this.) Rule number two: make sure the heist involves something glamorous like jewels or art. Do you really want to risk jail by swiping some oreos from the local Woolworth?

The Girl from Impenema is the one song that will liven up any party. Another personal recommendation is anything by the singing nun. (My personal favorite is Dominique)
Other swanky sounds of the now include Petula Clark, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, Sing along with Mitch, and The Baja Marimba band.

The parking lot of the Bel Air Presbyterian Church is a great place to take your date. Sweeping views as far as the eye can see and if a little necking ensues, well then let's just hope God is more of a hepcat than we give him credit for.

Any girl who has a couch made out of a bathtub is probably involved with mobsters.

Plastics are the future.

Shaken not stirred sounds cooler order every drink this way especially cokes and frozen margaritas.

You can steal a priceless statue from the Louvre as long as you dress up like a washerwoman to do it.

Don't try driving the wrong way on the upper deck of the San Francisco bay bridge. That only works in the movies.

If anyone you know insists on taking his cat with him to a business meeting this means he is a criminal mastermind hell bent on taking over the world.

If Mrs. Robinson wants to seduce you. Let her.

A spoonful of sugar really does help the medicine go down.

Ladies don't be afraid to be adventurous with your bouffant. Add a string of pearls, a tiara, or even a set of chopsticks for that "exotic" look. Remember Big hair needs a big skirt so don't be afraid to add a crinoline or twenty. Of course any modern girl shouldn't be afraid of modern lines. Show some leg. Personally I like a thigh or drumstick almost as much as that colonel who sells chicken in buckets down south.

Be shocking and daring. Make everyone notice. Wear some pants into a restaurant and then get kicked out.

Men don't forget the hair products. I find a dab of pomade mixed with a liberal dollop of vo5 mixed with 2 parts auqanet and one part Dep will do the trick. Don't forget to light a match (or a zippo) for extra hair stability when you go for a ride in the convertible.

Put on that hat and grey flannel suit because it's time to celebrate the swell life! That means shiny cars, modern couches and modern cabinet TVs with the hi-fi totally included! Show off your love of the swell life with this deluxe tie. It's swanky

There is no party like a retro house party high up in the sky at a project house. So put on your best mini skirt, grab a martini and your jukebox full of rat pack records and let the swingin shindig begin!

Get ready get set become an official member of the jet set! You don't need a black credit card, a jar of imported mustard, a small dog in a designer sweater or an Italian sportscar. You just need a sense of adventure and this retro sixties style design to become a member. So get ready to impress the glitterati!

Get those tickets ready because it's time to wing your way to the coast and have a romantic date in la la land. The champagne and the view are included. This deluxe retro sixties illustration has flair to spare so get it today and add it to your swanky pad!

Live Retro and Love Retro with this vintage style design. From big house parties to intimate gatherings it's time to get back to that swingin swanky lifestyle of yesteryear so celebrate your love for all things retro with this great design today!

Stephanie has that chic sixties style. Big hats a black dress, a cat and a couch made from a bathtub. You know you want to have a New York City breakfast with her and her vintage style so get something with this cute illustration today!

Get ready to fly off to Paris and become an official member of the jet set! You just need a sense of adventure and this retro sixties style design to become a member. This Eiffel Tower design is perfect for lovers of modern design mid-century marvels and Francophiles. C'est la Vie!

This swanky cocktail stationery has a cool vintage sixties flair. Use it for notes invites drink recipes and more!


This swanky vintage inspired design is the perfect place to keep all of your cocktail recipes. Get a deluxe cocktail binder today and toast life! This design is a winner of the Zazzle TBA that's like the Oscars for binder design. (trust me on this people, It's a major award on par with a leg lamp or a bowling alley deed)



What looks great under one aloha shirt? This aloha shirt tribute! Its too hot in the tropics to wear something you have to button anyway so get yourself some aloha style without any Hawaiian hassles.

Now everyone knows that a cat is the most swingin animal you can have as a pet. When you get a feline companion you will get the urge to take over the world and that is a very modern powerful and manly jetset worthy urge. Though lets face not all of our landlords are cool. Often they are a square who don't want us to have a pet at all. So we have to sneak one in and it has to be something small like a mouse.

Now you could get your mouse a cage but what he really want is his own pad. So get him this mouse pad. I am assuming he will just stay on it and not run away and scare all the neighbors. I mean what else could this thing possibly be for?

Get a jetset mousepad today!

If for some strange reason this lens has made you want to time travel back to the sixties. Well I really can't help you. (Though I did once see a movie where a guy when back and time and saved this luscious blonde cavewoman from being eaten.) Anyway with this deluxe shirt you can pretend you went back to visit me in my time.


A time travel souvenir for you
I went back in time to 1962 and all I got was this stupid t-shirt. To get this swinging look you don't need to drink any mystery drink from that highball glass you just need to get out your dining club card or charge a plate and buy it right here. This design is deluxe make everyone at your swinging ad agency jealous!