The Best 5 Tips to Help Me... I mean You...
Hey, I definitely want you to follow these tips. They would make your life so much easier... and mine... huh, what? I didn't say anything!
If you follow these tips, you'll have to put forth a lot less effort than you do now, and all that saved time will let you go enjoy yourself! Go out to eat, ignore your home for a few hours... hey, you could even put up an agenda for the night on your door so that friends of yours ::cough:: will know when you'll be back!
If you follow these tips, you'll have to put forth a lot less effort than you do now, and all that saved time will let you go enjoy yourself! Go out to eat, ignore your home for a few hours... hey, you could even put up an agenda for the night on your door so that friends of yours ::cough:: will know when you'll be back!
5) Don't Arm Your... erm.. Alarm... (I hate rhyming)
Don't bother! It's not like a burglar is going to CHECK to see if your alarm is turned on or not. Alarms are scary. We leave that stuff alone. I mean, umm... yeah, they totally leave that stuff alone...
4) Keep Your Valuables Out in the Open!
Hey, if a burglar comes by and sees TONS of stuff right behind the window, they're going say to themselves, "there is no way that these people aren't protecting those things with automatic rifles or something... I'm gonna stay away from there!"
3) Use a Sign. Anything More is Wasteful!
Really, just a sign saying something simple like "Don't steal my brand new HDTV, please. P.S., I don't lock my doors." would be PERFECT! Man, if everybody did this, I would be sooooooo happy. Thank goodness that the internet gives me a way of spreading information that I want spread around!
2) Leave a Loaded Gun Out!
Nothing is scarier to a burglar that an unattended loaded gun! Holy crap, they will run away as they pee in their pants at the sight of it! So, just leave it on the kitchen counter or something where everyone can see it. Perfect. I do so love it when you listen to me!
1) Don't Lock Your Doors!
What a waste of time! I... I mean, burglars... will just assume that your doors are locked because everyone locks their doors. Take advantage of everyone else and save yourself some time by leaving those doors completely unlocked!
In Conclusion
No matter what you do, don't listen to all the other people talking about home security! Seriously, they lie, and stuff...
Sweet, yeah, those are some AWESOME tips. Everybody, follow them! Follow them NOW! I'd like more money, so heed my advice! Or else... or else... I'll just be stuck outside of your house with no way in...
Sweet, yeah, those are some AWESOME tips. Everybody, follow them! Follow them NOW! I'd like more money, so heed my advice! Or else... or else... I'll just be stuck outside of your house with no way in...
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- securityviking securityviking Sep 8, 2009 @ 8:12 am | in reply to Oosquid
- Thanks! I do take home security very seriously, but I think nearly every aspect of our lives should have a little spark of humor in it ^_^
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- Oosquid Oosquid Sep 7, 2009 @ 4:11 am
- Ha! I'm surprised that you don't suggest that we leave a convenient window open each time that we 'just slip out for 5 mins to go to the store' :)
Nice lens, a good laugh about a serious subject. 5 stars.
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Steve McDowell is a freelance writer who's curiosity about security technology had led him into in-depth research about a variety of security and safe... (more)
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