Wedding Etiquette: The Basics for your perfect day
People these days are thinking, does Wedding Etiquette still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent?
In this rule defying age, it seems that Wedding Etiquette is just a thing of the past.
But is Wedding Etiquette really now just part of history? I don't think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don't think so, too.
Every culture has Wedding Etiquette. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about Wedding Etiquette, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow.
The Wedding Etiquette that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered.
They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and Wedding Etiquette books had been published during the Victorian era.
In every all aspect of the wedding there is a Wedding Etiquette that should be followed.
There's a Wedding Etiquette to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic Wedding Etiquette for guests; when sending out gifts there's a Wedding Etiquette too that must be followed.
In this rule defying age, it seems that Wedding Etiquette is just a thing of the past.
But is Wedding Etiquette really now just part of history? I don't think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don't think so, too.
Every culture has Wedding Etiquette. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about Wedding Etiquette, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow.
The Wedding Etiquette that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered.
They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and Wedding Etiquette books had been published during the Victorian era.
WEDDING ETIQUETTE BASICS
In every all aspect of the wedding there is a Wedding Etiquette that should be followed.
There's a Wedding Etiquette to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic Wedding Etiquette for guests; when sending out gifts there's a Wedding Etiquette too that must be followed.
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Here are some of basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for the wedding parties and the guests:
For the bride and groom:
Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal.
It depends upon the couple.
If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words.
If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do.
Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding.
Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination.
- A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church.
- A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding.
- The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry.
- The stepmother may seat at the church's first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew.
For the guests:
- Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner.
- Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie.
- Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can't make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts.
Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed a lot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address.
Wedding etiquette guide
Diane Warner's Contemporary Guide To Wedding Etiquette: Advice From America's Most Trusted Wedding Expert (Wedding Essentials)
Amazon Price: $11.89 (as of 12/26/2009)
By Meg Jaworowski
This book is easy to read, easy to use, and easy to understand. It is a complete run down of all the necessary details and nicities to make for a wonderful, memorable wedding.
She is not overbearing on the etiquette aspect of a wedding, but gently and kindly explains the effects of doing things in a "proper" way.
I have enjoyed reading this and have found it enormously helpful. I would suggest this as the first place to go for wedding advice.
The Shower And Stag Wedding Etiquette
Being the maid of honor and the best man have a number of wedding etiquette duties.This includes the church responsibilities of handling the train, making sure that everyone is in their place and hosting the reception program.
One of the important duties for any maid of honor and best man is to arrange for the bridal shower and stag party.
Wedding etiquette for showers or stags can be done separately or together. It is a traditional wedding etiquette for the bridesmaids to have their own celebration as well as the groomsmen for their stag party.
For the bridal shower:
Women have more finesse when it comes to bridal shower parties. The wedding etiquette for such events may require the maid of honor to come up with original ideas for the shower.
The first thing to consider is the format. The wedding etiquette for formats can be from the formal (a dinner) or informal (strip club party).
Aside from that, there are other alternatives like going to the spa, spending a party at the circus or whatever the maid of honor thinks that the bride will appreciate.
A bridal shower is thrown in honor of the bride and her friendship with the girls. Wedding etiquette only calls for all the bridesmaid's help in organizing it and making it memorable.
A proper bridal shower observes the wedding etiquette of a program. A simple one will do. Depending on the theme, the program starts off with an introduction of the bride's friends, a round of games for everyone, the gift giving (if any) and then dinner.
Gifts for the bridal shower are optional but are a great wedding etiquette to follow. The bride's friends can chip in for one extravagant gift or each of them can bring a piece for the bride. The wedding etiquette gift for bridal showers can be as tame as matching monogrammed towels to something naughty like lingerie.
The wedding etiquette for games is to celebrate it as a fun reminder of the bride's single days or something about her current relationship. It is acceptable to have games purely for fun. But what the maid of honor has to remember is the shower giveaways.
Already considered as an art form, the giveaways or gift bags are a wedding etiquette must have. The bags should contain a souvenir (any object of choice chosen by the maid of honor), a thank you card for making the event and maybe a picture of the couple for remembrance. Yes it sounds corny but it is about the bride and groom.
Another wedding etiquette to remember is the timing of the bridal shower. An event like this should be celebrated weeks before the wedding date. This will allow the bride enough time to relax and truly enjoy the shower. And should she get drunk then, there is a lot of time to recover from the hang over.
For the best man:
A stag party is usually celebrated weeks before the wedding celebration. It is bad wedding etiquette to hold it the day before the ceremony. Things can go wrong what that happens. Imagine the groom arriving with a big headache.
All the stag party is concerned is the budget of the event. If the best man can get as much funding from the other groomsmen, the event can go well underway. Most wedding etiquette for a stag party is not followed but the concept is there.
Hosting is a wedding etiquette that the best man has to perform. Unlike the bridal shower, this process is very informal. The hosting job may only go as far as introducing the other groomsmen and then inviting in the strippers.
The wedding etiquette of providing food and drinks still apply though. If the stag party is held at the hotel, room service can be ordered up to their room. If they decide to celebrate in a bar, the menu is easily available to them.
The groomsmen can get as frisky as they want with the hired strippers but as a wedding etiquette rule, the groom should have self-control. The saying "Look but don't touch" applies. Or if it is unavoidable, "Touch but don't squeeze" will do.
Stag parties are different from bridal showers because men view this as their last hurrah. The most important wedding etiquette rule or both parties is to never ask what transpired that night.
It will only open up suspicions and could cancel a wedding. Brides, just be glad that your man made it to the altar. By him showing up there and meeting you means that nothing further happened.
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Wedding etiquette can save the day!
Huge Love In Small Weddings
An elegant small wedding is one of the most beautiful weddings that can be organized.The budget is not too high, the attendees are all relaxed and will likely have a good time and nuances such as children running around and making noise will be avoided.
A wedding without too much frills makes sure that the love between the couple is the focus of the ceremony.
Etiquette in a small wedding
ATTIRE: Guests are only advised to wear clothes comfortable to them. A dress from a closet selection, a white one or even a sundress is appropriate for a small wedding.
A bridesmaid can wear a white dress or even a pantsuit. The groom can go for khakis, or even jeans paired with a shirt and a sport coat.
SETTING: A small wedding can be held in a community center, a local park or even your parents' backyard.
Holding ceremonies in a unique location such as a rooftop, a barn, an art gallery can clearly speak about the personalities of the couple.
INVITATIONS: Invitations in a small wedding can be handwritten on handmade paper.
Send them like writing a note to a close friend. It is important to note that attendees should be in casual attire.
FLOWERS: Simple bulbs such as hyacinths or tulips can serve as alternatives for floral flower arrangements. Using these will generate huge savings for the couple.
Gerber diaries inserted in a flat container filled with wheat grass can serve as an attractive centerpiece.
MENU: The menu of a small wedding can be very diverse. A party can be set a few months before the wedding and the guests can be asked to bring their favorite recipes.
The couple can choose their favorites and use them as wedding food. It is also good to acknowledge whose recipe it is by putting a label in front of every dish. Besides a party, a barbeque or picnic fare can be held.
REGISTRY: Common retail stores such as Sears or Target can be used as gift registries. Couples can specify what they want to receive in order to avoid the usual gift of expensive China that will likely collect dust in a cabinet.
Costs, costs, costs
Tradition dictates that the bride's parents are responsible for paying off the wedding regardless if it is small or big. However, expenses have become an issue due to the challenging times.
The etiquette in requesting for money is by gathering both families and discussing how to share in the wedding expenses, as the couple will unlikely have enough to cover all of their needs.
The budget will be a major basis on what type of wedding will be held. The couple needs to meet with everyone who will be attending.
However, the couple cannot force their parents to shell out money that is not available.
Couples can make various compromises if their budget falls short.
For example, less expensive rings can be used. A more expensive replacement can be acquired in the future.
Some couples do not even have wedding rings at all.
Those living in a nice climate can have the reception at home and hire catering services. To help control costs, a butler can be tasked to pass around hors d' oeuvres and refreshments.
The parents of the groom traditionally pay for the following items:
~ Boutonnieres for groom's attendants
~ The bride's bouquet
~ Officiate fee or donation
~ Rehearsal Dinner
~ Lodging and transportation expenses of the rabbi or minister
~ Corsages for every family member
~ Transportation of the Groom and Best Man going to the wedding
Giving tips is a nice way of rewarding those that have given good service but it is not a requirement.
A tip given to a minister can be seen as a gift for marrying the couple. Tips can be given to servers, drivers and musicians but still, this is not a requirement.
The etiquette in service fees
Couples should make sure that they are comfortable with the people that are helping in the wedding whether it is the wedding experts, the photographer and even the florists. They should share the same vision on how the wedding should come out and not merely focus on how much money will spent.
A couple may receive possibly the lowest price but if the rendered service does not meet what was promised, the value is useless, even if it is a small wedding.
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- diamondsjess diamondsjess Oct 8, 2009 @ 6:44 pm
- So much to know! I've been to some weddings where it was obvious some people hadn't been taught proper wedding etiquitte!
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- TheBridalCoach TheBridalCoach May 26, 2009 @ 4:40 pm
- Wonderful lens. Thanks for making it so useful and informative.
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