Oppositional Defiant Disorder

We are not talking about the every day challenges or independence-seeking behavior that kids can show normally. Many of us face a difficult child everyday. This is nothing new. All kids challenge adults at some point in their childhood. It is part of the growing up process. And children can be more challenging at certain times based on simple things like being hungry, stressed or tired.

The problem comes in when the behavior is consistent, lasting more than 6 months and disruptive to the family, home or school environment. If you can't get a grasp on it, there may be more to there behavior than just "being a kid." This information is according to research done by the Mayo Clinic.

Because of the difficulty in dealing with kids with ODD or Behavior Defiant Issues, parents will benefit greatly from learning specific ways of working with these children. Finding real help that has a proven track record is the key. One program that has been used to help families and kids for over 20 years is My Out of Control Child In it, parents are given the insights into why kids with ODD act the way they do, what parents can do differently in their parenting style to help them, and how to restore a happy, healthy relationship with them.

Just to clear things up even more, I would like to share a list of symptoms that can be a result of the negative, uncooperative and hostile behavior you have been persistently observing in your child.

This list was shared by the Mayo Clinic in 2009.
1. Frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
2. Inability to take responsibility for things. They blame others constantly.
3. Easily annoyed or upset by others
4. Continually disobedient. No regard for rules or authority figures
5. Unwilingness to do things they are asked.
6. Throwing repeated temper tantrums no matter what you try
7. Arguing with adults on a constant basis
8. Revengeful or spiteful towards others.
9. Saying mean and hurtful things when they are upset
10. Academic problems at school
11. Difficulty maintaining friendships

If your child shows symptoms of ODD, there is help available to you. Early intervention is the best, and help from your physician or a trained therapist is your best bet in diagnosing ODD. There are many different treatments, each based on the child in question. However, there are some basic things parents can do at home Here is a brief list shared by the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:

1. Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation. Try and catch him being good, rather than noticing when he or she isnot.

2. Take a time a out or a break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better. You don't want to add to the already difficult situation you are in. Walking away and taking some deep breaths will really help. Remember the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all then."
This is good modeling for your child.

3. Pick your battles. Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do. If you give your child a time%u2011out in his room for misbehavior, don't add time for arguing. Say "your time will start when you go to your room."

4. Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.

5. Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn't take all your time and energy. Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
If you find yourself stressed out, your child will easily be able to sense it.

You may be surprised at just how effective positive parenting techniques really can be for a child with ODD. The more you learn, the better off you will be.

To begin dealing with a child with ODD, a two part approach is oftentimes taken. The first part involves changes the parent will make with themselves, their parenting style and skills. The second part involves working towards modifying the behavior of the child.

With Parent Management Training, most of the energy and work is directed at the parents, emphasizing new ways to manage the child. New skills and techniques are learned to make you more effective in your role as the parent.

The Behavioral Modification Plan is focused more on the child and outlines rules of the home and society. It also includes rewards the child can earn for following the rules, and consequences associated with breaking the rules. In those consequences, there will be specific steps to follow to make sure the child is held accountable, learns from mistakes, and is ultimately successful.

1) Catch your child being good and comment on that.
Focusing more on the positives rather than simply on what they are doing wrong.

2) Tell your child what they should or could do, rather that simply telling them NOT to do something.

3) Try a Rewards Chart that tracks a couple of behaviors that you are wanting to see improvement on. Make sure they know what the reward is if they reach the goal.

4) Try to ignore inappropriate behavior that is not harmful to themselves or others.
By not giving them attention for negative behaviors, they may stop doing them.

5) Be a "yes" parent as well as a "no" parent.
As parents, we tend to say NO a lot more often than we really need to.

6) Be sure to include physical activities in their daily routine.
When children can run around and burn off excess energy, they are more likely to be compliant.

7) Spend time with your child everyday, in their world, with the things that interest them. We as parents tend to feel "busy all the time" but making time for your children is one area you should not skimp on time-wise.

8) Be a good model for your child to follow.
It is true, children learn by observing more than they do by listening. If you handle your anger and frustration in a positive way, they will catch on.

I thought I would give you just a bit more insight into the author of the Out of Control Child and My Out of Control Teen program. He is well loved in his community, and very successful in helping families find peace again.

Mr. Hutten is a Probation Officer as well as a Family Therapist andperforms home-based counseling/supervision for families experiencing difficulty with their child's emotional and
behavioral problems.

Here's a what Mark received from his boss in his mailbox not too long ago.
***************************************************************
Mark,

It must be gratifying to hear such positive feedback about your
work. I know I haven't said this in a while, but I am very glad to
have you here at the Madison County Youth Center working with "our"
kids.
I appreciate your insight and your "heart" for these kids.

There are only a few of you around, Mark. Keep doing what you love - it shows.

-- Katherine (Mark's boss, Chief Probation Officer, Madison
Superior Court, Division II)

Honest Parenting Course
A great common sense parenting course taught by Daniel Cravens. Daniel earned a Psychology degree from David Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN. Afterward, he began working almost 7 days each week and was on-call 24 hours a day as a therapist for children and adolescents with mild-severe behavioral and emotional issues. He was also a parenting skills trainer and has been a substitute teacher, as well as a case manager for adults with mental health and substance abuse diagnoses.

In addition to parenting 3 kids, Daniel has worked with hundreds, and has been in almost every scenario imaginable, from being spit on, kicked, hit, pinched, bitten,
threatened, having rocks and other objects thrown at him, having a gun
pulled on him, locked out of rooms, and so on. So...when he offers
information on helping kids, he really can put himself in your place!