Why I Think Child Support Sucks

I am a mom to four children. I am 41 years old. 41, do you hear that child number three? 41, not 42, 41. I have two boys, and two girls. I have two children over 16, and two children under seven. These children have 3 fathers. I have 2 ex's and 1 fiance. We have 3 dogs; small, medium and large. We have a beta fish named Rocky and a cat named Max (short for Maxine). Two of my children are 1/4 mexican. And no, this isn't a word problem, this is just a doozie of a life!

So today is the sixth. Rent was due on the 1st. Rent will not be paid until the tenth. Now, rent always gets paid, albeit late most of the time. I hate it. I would hate it worse if we got behind 2 weeks, or a whole month. I would hate it a hell of a lot less if my ex-boyfriends mother (who lives around the corner) was not my property manager. We haven't always been late with the rent. We stayed pretty much on time until after my fiace I had the baby, and my disability ended up becoming unemployment. My fiance works hard, and his main paychecks pay the rent and the utilities. In between, I buy food, put gas in the car, help my oldest daughter (who is on SSI), survive, etc., with my little checks. The problem is, the red notices on the utilities all fall due the end of the month (goodbye 25th check), so I never have quite enough for rent until he gets paid on the tenth.

Now, the good Christian folks who rent this home to us put it into our lease that there is no grace period on the rent, so on the 2nd of the month, I owe another $45, and then $5 a day is added on each day after that. As you can imagine, this adds up quite a bit. Some time ago, when my paperwork for unemployment was delayed, I asked them to consider rewriting the lease so that we could pay on the 10th. Obviously, Christian understanding only goes so far, as I was flatly declined. Now, I do not plan to be unemployed forever. I am working hard to get my business off the ground and generating an income, despite the distractions of a neurotic business partner, an oft ill kid facing several upcoming surgeries, and a boobie baby who likes nothing better than to be my personal assistant. My fiance works hard, and hands over every precious dollar he makes. Yet, like many other Americans, we are just plain stretched too thin. A couple of weeks waiting for mixed-up money, a couple of month waiting for SSI to adjust my daughters income so that it will cover her rent and food... These things make it a damned accomplishment to just pay rent at all. It would be easier if Ms. Christian Superiority didn't have to make me feel so inadequate about my failure to be prompt. I understand her inability to empathize with my situation. She hasn't made a house payment in over 20 years. She let's the State of California make her payment, while her 40 year old son lives at home, rent free, unemployed. In fact, when her son was 19 years old, she had him sign over the house (which his dad had put in his name when they divorced) into her name. She then put CalVet insurance on the house, and two months later had her doctor put her on permanent disability. She now had the best of both worlds... A house with no house payments, and a hold over her son for the rest of his life. Her son also does not pay me child support. Now, I am not saying he is not a good dad. He is a great dad, when his mom is not involved. He would be a fantastic dad if he didn't still live at home with his mom. I tried to do the child support thing with him. The thing is, his priorities were a bit skewed. Child support, or put a lift kit on his jeep... Well, the jeep won. Child support, or snowboarding... His son could wait. I didn't go through the Dept. of Child Support Services, because he never stayed at a job more than a few months... I would have spent all my time chasing down his current employment status, just to keep the county on task. So, I decided that I would have my son benefit one way or another. I put the daycare bill in his dads name... Since he values his credit rating so highly, this worked perfectly... Bills paid on time... As my son grew, I rolled that over to private school. Again, a bill he doesn't want sent to collections, so he pays. This may be rambling. Actually, I know it rambles badly. The lesson I would like to have you gain is... Do not ever date a man who lives at home with his mother... If you do, and you have a child together... Do not expect him to choose you over a free ride at home... Finally, if you lose your home to foreclosure and your ex suggests a house owned by a friend of their family, do not rent it (no matter how desperate you are). Because one way or another, you are gonna get screwed... You will get the neighborhood busy body as a "property manager." You will have your ex's mom sticking her nose into your personal business at every opportunity. Take my advice, find a nice cardboard box somewhere. Less headaches and no late fees.