Withnail and I

Put simply the film is about two out of work struggling actors who decide that they need to go on holiday.
They have no money and when they do receive their dole cheques the money is spent on drugs and alcohol.
Withnail is from a prosperous family, although they are disappointed with his career choice, so when they need money and somewhere to stay when on holiday they approach his Uncle Monty, played by the inimitable Richard Griffiths.

Withnail

How dare you? How dare you?! How dare you call me inhumane...Right, you f*****, I'm going to do the washing up!

I think we've been in here too long. I feel unusual. I think we should go outside.

We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now.

I feel like a pig shat in my head.

I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze.

I want something's flesh.

Don't threaten me with a dead fish.

I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder.

Warm up? We may as well sit round this cigarette. This is ridiculous. We'll be found dead in here next spring.

We've gone on holiday by mistake.

These are the sort of windows faces look in at.

Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each, means we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning.

This place has become impossible. Nothing to eat, freezing cold and now a madman on the prowl outside with eels.

We'll cover ourselves in Deep Heat and get up against a radiator. Keep ourselves alive until twelve.

There must and shall be aspirin. If I do not have aspirin, I shall die.

"Boy lands plum role with top Italian director." Of course he does. Probably on a tenner a day - and I know what for: two pound ten a t*t and a fiver for his a**e!

Two quid? You're out of your mind. You can shove it up your a**e for nothing and f**k off while you're doing it!

"I"

My thumbs have gone weird. I'm in the middle of a f*****g overdose. My heart's beating like a f****d clock.

[Mentally] Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. And for once I am inclined to believe Withnail is right - we are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.

[To himself]: I could hardly p*ss straight with fear. He was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. What had I done to offend him? I don't consciously offend big men like this. And this one's a decided imbalance of hormone in him. Get any more masculine than that and you'd have to live up a tree. [Reading graffiti] "I f**k a***s." Who f***s a***s? [Aloud] Maybe he f***s a***s. [To himself again] Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity.

I think you ought to kill it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us.

A coward you are, Withnail! An expert on bulls you are not!

I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. And I've come in here with the express intent of wishing one on you.

I'm getting the fear!

Withnail, you fool, you should never mix your drinks!

Uncle Monty

I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is, you'll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot.

I can never touch meat until it's cooked. As a youth I used to weep in butchers' shops.

Sherry!? Oh no, no, no, no. I'll fall straight into his trap. He's so mauve. We don't know what he's planning.

Come on, lads, the sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall, and we shall be forced to camp.

I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary!

Danny

You're looking very beautiful, man. Have you been away? St. Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that.

I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present.

This doll is extremely dangerous. It has voodoo qualities.

Cool your boots, man, this pill's valued at two quid.

No need to insult me, man. I was leaving anyway. Have either of you got shoes?

Sit down, man. Find your neutral space. You have done something to your brain. You have made it high.

Brilliant ... Just brilliant!
Click on the image to visit the website!
At the bottom of the poster there's a second classic Withnail quote!

Danny The joint I am about to roll requires a craftsman and can utilise up to twelve skins. It is called a Camberwell carrot.
Marwood It's impossible to use twelve papers on one joint.
Danny It is impossible to roll a Camberwell carrot with anything less.
Withnail Who says it's a Camberwell carrot?
Danny I do. I invented it in Camberwell and it looks like a carrot. This will tend to make you very high.

"It is claimed that the soundtrack album was discontinued and deleted by the distributors because of the actions of the estate of Jimi Hendrix whose tracks are featured in the film. The family will not allow any of his music to be used to glorify or promote the use or abuse of drink or drugs.

The film also features a rare appearance of a recording by The Beatles, whose song "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" briefly plays as Marwood and Withnail return from Crow Crag. Although the surviving members of the group rarely licensed the use of their original recordings for feature films (cover versions were often substituted, as in the case of The Royal Tenenbaums and I Am Sam), George Harrison happened to be one of the film's producers, and allowed its inclusion in Withnail & I."

A Whiter Shade of Pale (live) - King Curtis - 5:25
The Wolf - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 1:33
All Along the Watchtower (live)- Jimi Hendrix - 4:10
To The Crow - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 2:22
Voodoo Chile (live) - Jimi Hendrix - 4:28
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Beatles - 4:44
Marwood Walks - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 2:14
Monty Remembers - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 2:02
La Fite - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 1:10
Hang Out The Stars In Indiana - Al Bowlly & New Mayfair Dance Orchestra - 1:35
Crow Crag - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 0:56
Cheval Blanc - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 1:15
My Friend - Charlie Kunz - 1:28
Withnail's Theme - David Dundas & Rick Wentworth - 2:40

Details taken from Withnail and I on Wikipedia

The rules for the Withnail and I drinking game are very simple, just match Withnail drink-for-drink...

Per person, you will require:
Gin
Cider
Ale
Sherry
Whisky
Red Wine

Optional:
1 bottle lighter fluid (You're allowed to substitute this for vinegar, this is what they did to Richard E Grant to the film the vomiting scene...)
1 Camberwell Carrot

They estimate that Withnail drinks in the order of 9 1/2 glasses of red wine, 1 pint of cider, 1 shot of lighter fluid, 2 1/2 shots of gin, 6 glasses of sherry, 13 whiskeys and 1/2 a pint of ale. Here that are in order:

Mouthful of red wine
"Lighter fluid" (eg overproof rum)
Double gin
Finger of cider (with ice)
Finger of cider (with ice)
Finger of cider (with ice)
Glass of sherry
Two big chugs of sherry
Mouthful of sherry
Sip of sherry
Double whisky
Mouthful of whisky
Mouthful of whisky
Mouthful of whisky
Mouthful of whisky
Splash of whisky
Single Teachers
Double Teachers
Double Teachers
Single Teachers
Sip of sherry
Three fingers of ale
Sip of red wine
Gulp of sherry
Small glass of red wine
Sip of red wine
Half glass of red wine
Sip of something white (gin & bitter lemon?)
Sip of red wine
Sip of red wine
Gulp of red wine
Gulp of red wine
Finger of red wine
Finger of red wine
Gulp of red wine ("'53 Margeaux")
Gulp of red wine ("'53 Margeaux")
Gulp of red wine ("'53 Margeaux")
Gulp of red wine ("'53 Margeaux")

Clearly this drinking game is a pretty stupid one to attempt by anybody! Why not try a different version - and post your ideas here in the guestbook.