You Rock!!

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YOU are Special, Valuable & Important!

So many times, we hear complaints but not appreciation. Many people are so accustomed to negative comments that they have trouble receiving compliments or praise. I know it was hard for me for a long time. Maybe if we express appreciation and encouragement more often, it will become easier for all of us to receive them.

I hope this page lifts you up and brightens your day. If it does, think about who you know that could use a little lift and send them the link. Be sure to bookmark it as well, so you can return here anytime you need to 'hear' something positive and encouraging.

Just in case you haven't heard it yet today, YOU are a terrific person. You have so many positive qualities that it would take all day to list them.
Seriously, You Totally Rock!!!

Free Compliments! 

  • You have such a wonderful smile; you light up the whole room!
  • You are brilliant! You have the most ingenious ideas.
  • Did you do something different with your hair? You look particularly fabulous today!
  • I don't know what it is about you, but just being around you makes people feel better.
  • The things you've overcome in your life astound me. You have amazing courage and determination.
  • Whatever happens in your life,I know you can handle it with grace and wisdom. You're just that good!
  • I believe in you because you are a masterpiece!
  • Anything you set your mind to, you are absolutely capable of achieving.
  • You have success written all over you. Hope it's contagious!
  • Nothing in this world is more valuable than you.
  • The love in your heart has the power to heal, comfort, encourage, and light the world.
  • I bet the Angels had a huge party when you were born. They probably still talk about it!
  • When I grow up, I wanna' be just like you!
  • It's amazing how much you've learned in such a short span of time!
  • Your progress in life is incredible! You've come so far!
  • I have no doubt that you will achieve your dreams because you are capable of great things.
  • You bring out the best in me, and I know you do for others, too.
  • You're like the sun; being in your light warms me up and brightens my day!
  • You must be married...the best ones are always taken!
  • You're a great listener. I bet people are always coming to you for help.
  • What a smile you have. Fabulous! You make me want to smile, too. :D
  • You ARE the problem-solver. You have an uncanny ability to figure out the best solutions!
  • What's really amazing about you is how much you care. You're so genuine and compassionate.
  • Your creativity is astounding! Do you have an Angel working with you?
  • If the world could see who you really are, it would be in awe of your fabulousness!
  • This is a great day. Know why? ... 'Cause you're here!

...and YOU are, too!

Self-Esteem: How We Feel About Ourselves 

For most of my life, I was very uncomfortable everytime someone paid me a compliment. I liked it; I just didn't know how to receive it. On a sclae of 1-10, my self-esteem was a -2.

I know a lot of people who have the same issue. Like me, they grew up being told how imperfect they are, that they should be ashamed of themselves, and what a disappointment they were to their parents. That's a lot to overcome. That kind of programming stays with us well into adulthood. Many people don't even realize it's there, but it still controls their life.

That kind of programming sets up one of two behavior patterns. The first, and most common, is being a perfectionist. These people are never satisfied with anything, including themselves, because it's never quite good enough. It's not perfect.

The second pattern is the chronic quitter. They give up on everything before they really get going because they feel, "What's the use? It's not gonna' be good enough anyway."

Both patterns lead to perpetual feelings of inadequacy. The perfectionist fights endlessly to overcome it, while the quitter simply resigns to the belief. While the outcomes may be vastly different, the personal effect is the same. Low self-esteem.

We can temporarily lift these people up with kind words and encouragement, but how they feel inside will quickly return to the status quo of not feeling good enough. That doesn't mean compliments, praise and encouragement are a waste of time.

If someone is already working on improving their sense of self-worth, our words may be just the boost they need to keep going or reach that next level. We can't look into the hearts and minds of others to know whether or not they've begun that process so our words of kindness are never wasted.

Even if someone has not begun addressing their self-esteem, the support we show them is planting seeds. Those seeds may not germinate for weeks, months, or even years, but they will be there when the person is ready.

Validation 

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The Most Important Thing

... is appreciating YOURSELF.
If you don't feel good about yourself, you won't be able to receive the compliments, praise, or appreciation from others.

Self-Talk: What Do You Say to Yourself? 

We Set the Standard

Everyone talks to themselves, mostly silently, but often times right out loud. What do you say to yourself? Is it supportive or critical? What we tell ourselves on a regular basis makes a huge difference in how we feel about ourselves.

Everybody makes mistakes, but when you do, do you call yourself an idiot? Refer to previous mistakes? These are self-defeating things that a lot of people say to themselves all the time. The next time you make a mistake, try a more supportive approach and see how you feel. "Well that didn't work. What can I learn from it. I know I'm capable and I can do this."

Much of our self-talk goes on without us even noticing it. We've been doing it since childhood as an automatic judgement response to whatever is going on in our lives. It began with us repeating what the people around us said to or about us. For example, if your parents told you that you were not smart enough, you probably repeated that every time you faced an academic challenge. It's quite common for people to repeat such statements about themselves outloud when describing themselves. Yet, if they really stopped and thought about it, they could see that it's not true.

A great deal has been written on the matter of self-talk, how to become aware of it, and how to change it. I won't go into it at length here, but it certainly has made a big difference in my life.

I used to tell myself things like, "You're too heavy. You're not smart enough. You're not strong enough. You can't do that." Sound familiar? You can probably imagine what kind of life that created. When I was so slim my hip bones showed, I thought I still needed to lose weight. (Haven't had that problem for a long time!) When a great opportunity came my way, I always blew it because I believed I would fail. I just wasn't good enough at whatever it was. In relationships, I was a serious people-pleaser. I always had to prove what a great catch I was, because I didn't really think I was. Making mistakes always brought back the familiar voice of my parents telling me I wasn't smart enough and I would always fail. Only it was no longer my parents' voice; it was mine.

When I first started changing my self-talk, it felt and sounded fake. I couldn't just replace negative with positive and change overnight. It took looking at what the dis-empowering statements were and where they came from originally. Then I had to look at why they weren't true. Eventually, I came to see that the person I thought I was just didn't exist. She was based entirely on other people's statements, usually made in anger. When I got to the truth of who I am and what I'm capable of, I found a pretty cool person! The old self-talk no longer applied, and the positive self-talk became true.

I still have self-doubts, just like everyone else, but they no longer run my life. When I catch them, I can choose to replace them with something supportive. I've learned to be my own cheerleader. When no one else is there to pick me up, I can get up on my own. I do't have to rely on others to feel good about myself. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate compliments when they come. I do! They give me that extra boost that I sometimes need to get back on track.

Stand By Me 

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Loving Ourselves; Building Lasting Self-Esteem 

If We don't Love Ourselves, We can't Love Others

We hear all the time, "You have to love yourself." How do we do that? Someone once told me that the answer was to look myself in the eye in the mirror and say, "I love you." It didn't work. You can't force love and you can't fake it. Loving yourself does not follow the "fake 'till you make it" philosophy. It has to be real and it has to come from inside.

If there are parts of your life that you are ashamed of or that you have blocked from your mind, you are not loving yourself. Most of my childhood was a complete blank. Much of my life that I could remember, I locked away in a dark closet because I didn't like the way I felt when I remembered them. I thought I was doing the courageous thing, the smart thing, in just moving on. Moving forward with your life is great, but there has to be acceptance and letting go first.

When I realized how much of my life I had rejected, I saw how much of my self I rejected. No wonder I was sad all the time and always felt alone. The person closest to me couldn't bear to look at me. That had to change. I wanted to love and accept myself. I wanted to be happy. I will tell you what worked for me. Maybe it will help you, too.

In meditation, I thought of the first time I could remember being really hurt and frightened. I saw the little girl that I was and had compassion for her. I could see how much pain she was in. She was all alone. It was different, looking at the situation as an adult and a witness, instead from the eyes of a child. I hurt for her, not me. I imagined giving her a big hug and say, "It's alright now. You are safe. You are not alone. I love you." Immediately, I felt such a rush of love and release that it sent shivers up my spine. I did this process with each major incident I could remember and at each stage of my life. The effect was profound.

Loving and comforting the person I was in the past healed the wounds I had carried with me all my life. It was like a ripple, expanding through the years right up to the present, healing everything along the way. The dark cloud gave way to light and I felt suddenly released from years of bondage. That was the moment I began to love myself, truly and deeply.

I am a different person, now. I believe in myself. I am kind to myself and relate better to others. The doormat is gone, replaced by a confident, happy woman. This technique was not easy and certainly not painless, but the rewards are worth the effort. A lifetime of pain and self-rejection does not heal overnight, but if you do this process for a little while, you will benefit from it the rest of your life.

One Love ~ Around the World 

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Blessings for You 

May YOU Be Blessed!

One of the things my Facebook friends enjoy is the little blessings I write when I leave a comment on their wall. Each one is written on the spot, so they don't all get the same thing.

A blessing says so much more than just, "Have a great day." It's a beautiful way of wishing someone well, and feels a great deal more personal both as giver and receiver.
  • May only Joy knock on your door, and Peace walk every step with you.
  • May Angels hold a lamp to light your path and the wind whisper guidance along the way.
  • Wishing you Love that overflows your cup, and Joy that makes itself at home in your heart.
  • May Light enfold you, Love expand you, and Joy lift you up.
  • Wishing you the Light that never grows dim, and Love that never ceases to expand.
  • May Peace make it's home in your mind, and Love claim your heart for it's own.
  • In the heart is all wisdom, and Love is it's ruler. Therefore trust what is in your heart and let it lead you.
  • May Love light the way for every step you take and Joy visit every hour.
  • Wishing you exciting journeys and joyful surprises!
  • Wishing you Joy like a bubble, floating because it's so light; and Love that sets your heart afire with the truth of who you are.
  • May Joy be your constant companion, and blessings fall like rain all around you.
  • Wishing you Joy that knows no bounds and Love that sings a rhapsody ever in your heart.
  • May Light shine ever in your heart, and may Love be reflected back to you in every face you see.
  • Wishing you Joy that is ever renewing and Love that touches the deepest part of you.
  • May Joy carry you like the wind to the fullness of your dreams.
  • Wishing you winds that bring only positive change, and gentle rains to nurture you.

You CAN Do Anything. You are Capable!

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Self-Esteem on Amazon 

Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 12/14/2009) Buy Now

The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance

Amazon Price: $10.19 (as of 12/14/2009) Buy Now

The Self-Esteem Workbook

Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 12/14/2009) Buy Now

Ten Days to Self-Esteem

Amazon Price: $12.23 (as of 12/14/2009) Buy Now

It Helps to Laugh at Ourselves Sometimes!

Encouragement from Abraham-Hicks 

Taking Responsibility for How We Feel

The message that Abraham shares through Esther Hicks is that we are amazing and powerful beings with the capacity to choose how we feel, and create from that. The more we focus on the positive, on things that feel expansive and joyful, the more we create a joyful life.

I included them here because I believe that, while it's nice to receive compliments from others, how we feel is ultimately up to us. At the same time, experience has shown me that sometimes it's a kind word from someone else that reminds me that I am valuable and have something worthwhile to contribute. A timely compliment can jump-start my self-esteem, but it's up to me to shift it into high gear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make up your mind that nothing is more important than how I feel now, because now is everything. Now is the whole enchilada. Now is the power of me. Now, now, now, now, now%u2026 You might as well start somewhere, and it might as well be now. Why not start improving your life now, now, now?

Excerpted from a workshop in Tarrytown, NY on Saturday, October 9th, 2004

Find thoughts that feel good, because it is inevitable that you are going to always be moving toward something. So why not be moving toward something that is pleasing? You can't cease to vibrate, and Law of Attraction will not stop responding to the vibration that you are offering. So, expansion is inevitable. You provide it, whether you know you do, or not. The only question is, what is the standard of joy that you are demanding for yourself? From your Nonphysical perspective, it's a high, high standard.
Excerpted from a workshop in Seattle, WA on Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
Our Love,
Jerry and Esther


You are So Fabulous, I'd Love to Hear from You! 

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...for visiting. You Rock!!!

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by jacquelinestone



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