The Kingdom of Zutville

Currently we have a population of approximately 50 Zuts. I will try to introduce you to some as we take this tour. I am Grumpy - the Official Greeter of Zutville.

A couple of Zuts seem to have gone missing. Perhaps they are on vacation - some have moved away but most still reside here.

Let's stop in the business area first, shall we?

As you can see, there is not a lot of traffic here and we like it that way. There is the usual activity but on a smaller scale than most other communities. We have Zutanic Towers which houses our radio station Zut Radio on the 1st floor. We share the 1st floor with the bank and a Gift Store which also sells novelties and magic items.

On the 2nd floor there is also a computer learning centre and a 5 Star restaurant. We even have another radio station that calls itself the "The Pod Five" which is in the Penthouse on the 3rd floor.

Let's skip Zut Radio as you can find out all you want to know about it in another Squidoo lens. Suffice to say that it broadcasts night and day but never on a set schedule.

Let's go into the bank first as I need to get some money anyway.

This is a very small bank but it does serve our needs. It has, of course, never been robbed.

Say "hello" to ZEROGreenhouse. When he is not the Bank Manager, he is off hollering at the US government to make environmental changes for the good of us all. In fact he is an International Author - Environmental Activist & Founder of the Greenhouse Neutral Foundation. After me .. he is the "Big Shot" in this little town.

Avocadocreation and whonose are his two trusty Bank Tellers.

Watch out for Avacado when she is having a bad day and always double-check the money she gives you when you cash a cheque. It's not because she's dishonest - it's becasue she's not all that bright.

We have a Computer Training Centre here with state of the art computer equipment. This centre is owned by DougPete, a fellow Canuck. He often will train for just a coffee and a donut - the key is to catch him when he's broke.

He has only 1 student at the moment - flicka47. Flicka - come on over and say "hi" to these nice folks.

Let's stop in the restaurant and have a cup of tea, shall we?. As you may have noticed, the decor of this restaurant is very unusual. It gives you the impression that you are having your lunch in a nice cool tropical setting. Of course this is not the case but its owner spent mega bucks creating it. Flipflopanna is the owner and she hired LindaLaforgeart to create this wonderful optical illusion. Linda is the Resident Town Artist and one of the Town Babes.

An Austrian chef cooks for your enjoyment behind the scenes. Be adventurous as you never know what ChefKeem will have on the menu from day to day.

Your Maître D, waynemansfield, will ensure that you are most comfortable and will be served wine of the best possible vintage.

The two people who will be hostng you are ByDezien and leftkiwi. leftkiwi is the only person who can really understand what the Chef is saying.

Every great town has a Main Street and we are no exception.

But before I show you around, I should point out that many of these people are busy at the moment. You can learn more about them by going to the lens entitled "Citizens of Zutville".

We have movies showing at Zunset Theatre (see the module below) and next door is the Teahouse where you can have your fortune told by GypsyOwl.

There is also a Travel Agency, a Private School which teaches English to immigrants of Zutville, A Real Estate office, and the Telephone Company - alll on the east side of Main Street. Oh, yes, let's not forget Zero Zaving & Loans and Zutanic Towers - they are on Main Street as well.

We have only one intersection that has traffic lights. At that point, Summer Street crosses Main Street and that's where the rest of our businesses are.

The Zutville News is right on one of the corners and also houses a small cafe called Zonks.

A Barber Shop, Video Store and Bakery are right next door. Right across the street you will find GrowWear Clothing in one of out larger building which also houses Hellams Flower Shop and a Bicycle Shop.

Just across from the Mayor's Office is the best pizza joint in town.

Philmac128 sells pizzas and joints. Sure, the town constable knows but he doesn't care - Phil always gives him a free smoke with the purchase of a medium-size pizza. The rest of us have to buy a large in order to get a joint!

Zutville Library, just across the street from the pizza shop, is our library. It's open 6 days a week from 8:00 AM until 6:00 PM. The head librarian is Serenia and she's fine unless your books are over-due. Then she can be really mean. The staff under her will haul your butt (and your books) back to the library as soon as she gives the order. Otherwise, like we said, she's fine (when she's sober).

There are a few dogs and cats around but you won't see them on the streets very often because Zuts tend to keep their animals indoors.. AstridNicole is walked by his owner Barbara every morning.

But we do have a small zoo. Sadly we don't have any exotic cats yet, but we do have 9 chimpanzees who have formed their own baseball team and call themselves "The Magnificent Monkeys". Yes - that's true - would I lie to you?

Marijuana is legal here in Zutville. The Weed Factory which produces the best joints available in East Virginia.

I almost forgot - the name of the zoo is Zut Zoo (what did you expect?). You can visit the zoo free of charge if you leave a beer at my office.

Well, we don't really have a Police Chief but we do have a Sheriff - Drifter0658. Thank God there is no trouble here in town as he is drunk most of the time. He is really just there as a deterrent.

The Zutville Shaman will help cure what ails you. He will also help you find your animal spirit and teach you to communicate with it. The Shaman is danbodenstein who moved from the Florida Everglades to reside with us.

We are still trying to hire a Fireman and an Ambulance Driver.

At the end of Summer Street there is a nice little church and a park to walk your dogs.

It was designed by TipiGal who, I believe, may be a Native Indian. I know she smokes too much sweet grass.

The church is named Zaint Zachery's but I really don't know why. The Pastor is Trusprit and she will always be able to help lift your spirit when it is down or help you find it if you misplaced it.

The park is maintained by

Though we are a quiet little town - we do break out and party every now and again. Three people are on our Entertainment Committee - sweetnote, edovett and iMickeyD. There is also a Casino.

Now Ed is the other DJ up in the penthouse. He is part of The Pod 5. Their main podcast is Ed's Mixed Bag. Be careful when walking around the office tower though, as Ed (never call him Eddie), might be tossing his empty bottles of Sam Adams out the window. Wouldn't like to see anyone get hurt.

Sweetnote will grab her guitar and sing now and again - usually under a lampost on the corner late at night. She looks terrfic but her singing ain't so good.

Be friendly with Mandune - he's the bartender in The Pubalu Zoo and he makes a great drink if U slip him some extra coin now and again.

Now the Wing Wong Casino is run by wogpee who originally comes from China. If you win a lot - he will probably be hard to find but he will eventually show up.

This is where I rule and make all the decisions for the my Kingdom and wise ones they are!

Some people called me King Moon or Your Royal Highness but that is out of respect for the many great things I do for Zutville. Calling me Zut Moon is most acceptable provided that you bow as you speak.

There is a small building to the left of the Palace Courl which houses a swimming pool, a gym and a bingo hall.

Behind the Rec Centre is our baseball diamond where The Magnificent Monkeys square off against the Zongers every Sunday afternoon. The Monkeys are ahead 11 games to zero.

There are positions still available in Zutville. And if you would like to apply, all you need to do is leave a comment at the end of your tour and we will see what we can do for you. Those who are interactive listeners of Zut Radio will of course be given preference - others may have to show that they are worthy of being a Zut.

The positions currently available are:
Fireman
Barber
Telephone Repairman
Motel Manager
Video Store Manager
Shoe Store Owner
Manager of Kennels
Nurse
Ambulance Driver
Pizza Man
Bakery Manager
Tailor
Butcher
Park Manager

About every other weekend, gungadu goes riding through town on his bicycle. He's harmless even though he tries to scare people and threatens to thrown his javelin at them. He is a throw back from the 60's and has relapses every 12 to 14 days. There is little that can be done for him.

Sometimes you will see our Town Nurse trying to catch him and give him a needle to quiet him down but very rarely does that happen.

This lens was created by Zut Moon for his enjoyment and your use. Come by every now and again and tell the visitors what is happening in your life. Use it as a tool to Twitter Promote yourself.

Think of Zutville as an Info Hub where U can leave updates of what is happening to U so that other Zuts and visitors will know how exciting your life is being a Zut. Thnik about this - your tweets here may not get as deeply buried as they would at Twitter,

There is no fee for this service but if ever Zut Moon shows up on your doorstep - make sure you have a comfortable bed for him to sleep in .... for 2 weeks.