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A CompletelyBiased Guide to the Best Tool songs of all time

Ranked #5,425 in Music, #152,494 overall

I'm not wrong, but I'd love to argue.

Take heed and bear witness to the truths that lie herein. I have separated every song ever recorded and put onto an album by Tool into several tiers for various reasons that I might touch on in each section. Please use the message board to argue with me and others about your own list, and why I am so absurdly wrong my opinions should not even be considered.

Check out my NIN and Radiohead lists as well.
Top 50 NIN songs
Top 50 Radiohead songs

Tier One

Holy Jesus, Humans made this music??

Let me preface this list by saying I am an absolute Tool fanatic and was disappointed to find there was no Squidoo attempting to rank their songs or albums. I have been listening since the 8th grade, and estimate I have heard every song at least 200 times. I haven't missed a tour that has come through DC by any member of the band (yes, APC and Puscifer as well), have Tool ink, shirts, posters, and any other merchandise I could reasonably acquire on a college student's salary. While I feel emotionally attached to this music, I acknowledge that Tool has been around a lot longer than 9 years, and there is a rabid fan base who attempts to analyze all their songs' meanings and will hopefully start nerd raging in the message boards. Everything I say is completely my opinion, PLEASE leave a comment so we can have an open discussion on this great band. Now down to business.

THESE TIERS ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER. I already feel slightly blasphemous for breaking up the albums into individual songs!

TIER ONE:
Lateralus
ænema
Eon Blue apocalypse/The Patient
H.
Eulogy
The Grudge

I know, I know, no love for Undertow?? I just cannot put any of those songs into the same category as Lateralus (which I will say is my all-time favorite at this exact moment). Sure, the album is fantastic, but what song would make the cut? 4 degrees MAYBE. Sober is overplayed, Prison Sex doesn't sound as well produced as any of these songs (though if this were a list of greatest PARTS of tool songs 3:45-3:55 would make the cut, c'mon you know the part). And 10,000 days? Wings pt. 2 would've made it if not for the thunder storm. I almost put Jambi up here but I couldn't pull the trigger. Maybe it hasn't had enough time to age.

Tier Two

Ok, ok, this could be the work of mortals

Jambi
Wings pt 2
Prison Sex
Intolerance
Sober
4 Degrees
Schism
Parabol/Parabola
46&2
Undertow
No Quarter

Honestly, I feel bad for Schism and Parabola. Two of the most fantastic songs ever written kept out of the top tier simply because they were put on Guitar Hero and get too much radio time. Listens 1-1,000 (possible hyperbole) were pure ecstasy, but hearing radio edits really puts me over the edge. Same goes for Sober. I had to put No Quarter, but I have taken a ton of criticism for liking this version more than Zeppelin. Sorry, the guitar solo and breakdown is just too dope! I feel the other songs speak for themselves, Undertow has a number of great songs, but once again, can you honestly put them in the same category as Lateralus?

Tier Three

Still better than music by any other band....

Swamp Song
Opiate
Cold and Ugly
Jerk-Off
Vicarious
Right in Two
Disposition/Reflection
Jimmy
H**ker with a P***s
Stinkfist
Hush
Pushit (Salival version)

Sorry Stinkfist! Heard you even more times than Schism!

This tier is heavy on the Opiate material. Great stuff, but really more interesting to listen to just for the experience of hearing the great progression from Raw to Refined. Try listening to the Tool albums in chronological order if you want to pass 7 hours on a roadtrip. Just a blast. Also- in my experience Opiate songs are great to get you amped up or if you just want to listen to heavier music. Pushit (ænima) just has too much distortion for such beautiful vocals, it doesn't sound altogether natural to me. If I never would have heard the Salival version it might have made the cut, but in my opinion the slowed down, tabla-heavy version is transcendent. Vicarious felt too forced to me. The lyrics were sort of bland but WOW that song rocks hard.

Tier Four

If I made a Tool tribute band, I'd never play these live...

Part of me
Flood
Bottom (really, Henry Rollins?)
Crawl Away
Wings pt 1
The Pot
Intension
You Lied
Merkaba
Third Eye
Sweat
Triad
Pushit (original)
Ticks and Leeches
Maynard's D

Funny note, Ticks and Leeches got me hooked on Tool, now I skip it. The Pot and Third Eye should probably be higher, but I get embarrassed playing The Pot in my car with non-seasoned listeners, and Third Eye would be way better without the ridiculous repetition and Hicks quotes at the start. I LOVE listening to Flood, but I skip 4 minutes of droning guitar riffs so I can't justify a higher tier. I am really quite upset that they played Flood at the last few shows I've gone to...instead of the intro and the intro to the intro (if you've been to a Tool show you know what I'm talking about) they could have played Parabola or Eulogy. Please guys!

Maynard's D would've made the cut if its subject matter wasn't so stupid, and Wings pt 1 wouldn't be here without the heavy part towards the end.

Don't get me wrong, THESE SONGS ARE STILL GREAT, but they all have something noticeably wrong with them, that could have easily been corrected in production to make them amazing.

Tier Five

I wish these songs weren't put out

Lost Keys/Rosetta Stoned (except for about 40 seconds)
Lipan Conjuring
Disgustipated (quit wasting my time, the end is actually good!)
Die Eier von Satan

I understand they take a lot of illegal substances, but I'm not wasting my time with these. Rosetta Stoned is the only semi legitimate song here, and Maynard's performs this through a megaphone so the already incomprehensibly stupid lyrics are even more jumbled. AND PEOPLE LIKE THIS SONG?? Lipan Conjuring is at least bearable because it is so short. And Die Eier von Satan is actually sort of funny but unfortunately I have Jewish friends and I hate explaining that this song is a cookie recipe. And that brings us to the rest....

The Others

"Song" would be an overstatement

Message to Harry Manback
That one at the end of 10,000 days that inflates the album time because they presumably ran out of material and wanted a long album
L.A. Municipal Court
Cesaro Summability
Useful Idiot
Ions
Mantra
End of Opiate

If there are any new listeners out there, SKIP THESE! I guess this is Tool trying to be funny? Oops.

All the Albums

Buy it here, this list took me hours!

There's Salival too, but there's a 5 item limit, sorry.
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  • J Mac Feb 15, 2012 @ 6:05 am | delete
    I'm not gonna even get into your list, I just gotta restate something that's already been said. The first few YEARS I owned 10,000 Days I never really cared for Rosetta Stoned. The song literally took years to grow on me. A big suggestion I give to people is to read along with the lyrics, maybe with one of those youtube lyric videos. But the thing is that payoff, how incredible of a revelation that chorus is like 8 minutes into the song or whatever but that chorus man, you only hear it once toward the end but it explains everything and it's so powerful. I song along to it all the time
  • Drew Jan 21, 2012 @ 6:32 am | delete
    Just reading this more...Yes people love Rosetta Stoned I am one of them, it so perfectly conveys the loss of personhood & self control that an "alien invasion" experience would create (or any prolonged contemplation of such dark spirituality), and then the farcical revelation made to sound profound....its fantastic, and it rocks. You don't like Push it either...hmm sorry dude, your tool goggles are a bit busted.
  • Drew Jan 21, 2012 @ 6:18 am | delete
    I think Push It was one of those songs in the Tier One, or Tier two it just got played too much, but I think that's testament to the fact that Maynard must have loved it, I think if Tool had left it alone live it would have endured more, hate to say that. it was the first song of theirs which got under my skin, it was revelation, always liked it better than Aenima which I think that's a song mortals could have made, as good as it is. H. is incredible I agree with that, & the Grudge and Lateralus. I love The Patient, but does it definitively beat 46 & 2? Maybe it does. Third Eye was too low too.
  • Toolesque Jun 27, 2011 @ 1:46 am | delete
    Hahahahaha Lotta 10,000 Days songs on those last two tiers eh? Can't win em all Maynard. GREAT LENS. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Thank-you.
  • OGT May 3, 2011 @ 9:42 am | delete
    Your list is similar to what mine would have been like just after Lateralus came out (minus the stuff from 10,000 Days, obviously). Some TOOL tracks take a long time to grow on you, I think you are missing out on some great songs! First of all, just so you know, this is how most seasoned Toolheads would rank the albums:

    1. 10,000 Days
    2. Lateralus
    3. Ænima
    4. Undertow
    5. Salival
    6. Opiate

    Obviously, you're entitled to your opinion, but if you really think 10,000 Days is the worst studio album then you must be doing something wrong. I don't know what else to say.

    Now, the songs. I pretty much love all of these except for the ones in the last tier or two.

    TIER 1: LOST IN EUPHORIA...

    Wings For Marie (both parts) - Part 2 could be at the top even without Part 1, it's probably the best thing TOOL has ever done.
    Lateralus - A masterpiece. You have this in the right place.
    Resolution (Disposition / Reflection / Triad) - This trilogy is another masterpiece and should be ranked higher.
    Third Eye - Most of the comments have mentioned this already but you simply have this ranked too low. Please listen to it again.

    TIER 2: THEY'RE EXTRADIMENSIONAL BEINGS...

    Parabol / Parabola
    Lost Keys / Rosetta Stoned - It baffles me that you have this so low on your list.
    Intension / Right In Two - Again, you baffle me.
    Eon Blue Apocalypse / The Patient
    Flood - I understand why you've got this so low. Just keep listening to it, it was one of the last TOOL tracks to click with me. It's a real grower, you will come to love the intro.
    Pushit - The Salival version pushes this one into the second tier for me, but the album version is probably third tier.
    Vicarious

    TIER 3: PUSHING THE ENVELOPE, WATCHING IT BEND...

    The Grudge
    Mantra / Schism
    Forty Six & 2
    Stinkfist
    Eulogy
    Jambi
    Ænema

    TIER 4: A CAVERN OF TREASURES...

    Undertow
    Hooker With a Penis
    Intermission / jimmy
    4°
    Prison Sex
    H.
    The Pot

    TIER 5: NECESSARY, LIKE BLOOD TO A VAMPIRE...

    Swamp Song
    Opiate
    Sweat
    Intolerance
    No Quarter - Definitely better than the Led Zep version.
    Bottom
    (-) Ions - Underrated! Listen with your eyes closed.

    TIER 6: TREADING WATER, GETTING BORED AGAIN...

    Crawl Away
    Hush
    Part of Me
    Disgustipated
    Die Eier von Satan
    Ticks & Leeches
    Sober

    TIER 7: AT LEAST THEY TRIED...

    Lipan Conjuring - Too short to get a higher ranking. Love it, though.
    Cold and Ugly
    Viginti Tres
    Jerk-Off
    Merkaba
    You Lied

    TIER 8: KINDA SOUNDS KINDA COOL KINDA FUNNY ANYWAY...

    The Gaping Lotus Experience
    Maynard's Dick
    Faaip de Oiad
    Message to Harry Manback
    Message to Harry Manback II

    TIER 9: THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HIGH...

    Useful Idiot
    L.A.M.C.
    Cesaro Summability - I agree that this is pretty horrible.
  • CompletelBiased May 12, 2011 @ 10:26 pm | delete
    your tier 3 and 4 are like all my favorite songs. and theres no way people like 10,000 days more than lateralus....maybe its just because i hate rosetta stoned so much but i only listen to 6 songs off that album....
  • OGT May 16, 2011 @ 11:24 am | delete
    You are correct when you say that most people like Lateralus more than 10,000 Days. Remember, I wasn't talking about most people! Most people like Ænima more than Lateralus, as evidenced by record sales. Are they right? No. The albums have got better as the band has matured. The fact that you do not listen to the album the way it's meant to be (all the way through) might explain why you don't like 10,000 Days as much yet. How can you expect to love an album that you don't listen to all the way through? Of course, I will often listen to a random track if I don't have time to hear an entire album, this is hardly a crime, but the albums are meant to be listened to from beginning to end, in doing this you might find that the music begins to make more sense, you might find nuggets of genius that you previously missed.

    If the lyrics of Rosetta Stoned are your main problem with that song, consider why they are like that. They are designed to be like a bad trip. The music is also like a bad trip. Consider how the majority of TOOL songs have the same thing going on. Listen to the lyrics for Flood and how they fit with the music! Not just the lyrics but the way they are sung. It is the same thing with most, if not all, of their songs. The lyrics are an interpretation of the music! Remember, they spend a lot of time working on this stuff. If you resist the temptation to skip the tracks that you don't immediately like, in time you should be rewarded with four albums that you love from beginning to end! I'm not quite at that stage yet, but I'm confident that I will be one day. There are many TOOL songs that I used to dislike but now I love almost all of them with a passion. If you keep listening I am sure that they will click with you one day. Here's something to try, it may sound ridiculous but try it anyway. Listen to Flood all the way through, as loud as you can, twelve times in a row, then come back here and tell me you don't love it. That song is extremely addictive. Hopefully, you will be hooked by the twelth time! Worth a try, don't you think? Have fun!
  • Yoshi Apr 13, 2011 @ 8:40 pm | delete
    This thing comes off kind of.. really immature. Feces? C'mon. At least give 'em a chance. Even if there's not much to them at first look (or listen, whatever), those are actually pretty decent songs. I find Message to Harry Manback funny, and the others.. well, if you listen to Aenima straight through, they actually kind of form pairs with the songs that come after 'em. For instance, Cesaro Summability comes off as harsh with its crying baby, and its sound comes in waves - Aenema has very harsh lyrics that center around waves of destruction.

    A clearer one is how Harry Manback links with Hooker with a Penis. Both use loads of cursing in a humorous way. Both have their people throwing a complete fit over something small and silly. Both, in my opinion, are pretty hilarious.

    And of course, Intermission and Jimmy are very obviously meant to go together. Like a more separated version of the lead-in from Parabol to Parabola.

    Also. Since it's my favorite song, I feel a need to say this.

    Third Eye is fantastic. You're being impatient if you say the repetition is annoying. The repetition MAKES this song. Those couple of parts are repeated because they form the entire song before them - 'I open my eye' and 'Prying open my third eye' especially. If you listen at all to the instrumentals leading up to those points, you'll hear them echoed and morphed all throughout. Especially the seven-beat theme pulled from 'Prying..'.

    It'd be a huge, disappointing anticlimax if the song lead up so steadily to those parts, telling of them in bigger and bigger ways.. and then only actually said 'em once or twice.

    I could defend some other songs, but I'll just say, hey. Why not try giving those songs you think you hate a second chance? Let 'em play all the way through when they come on. I find that a lot of the time, if there's a song I think I dislike, I only dislike it because I skip it all the time and convince myself it sucks. Then when I actually let it play, I think to myself, 'Huh. Why do I always skip this?'

    Whoo, ridiculously long post..
  • CompletelBiased Apr 21, 2011 @ 2:31 pm | delete
    ive listened to every song hundreds of times. the songs at the bottom of the list are not even songs. sure they are ok transitions but not really. the really amazing transition tracks are eon blue apocalypse intermission and parabol. you really dont skip that baby crying if you have the skip button within reach? really? there is nothing enjoyable about that song to listen to. ooooo its harsh like aenema. so is a jackhammer. there is nothing artistic or funny about that song, or a bug zapper or a slowed down cat (mantra).
  • Jonno Mar 28, 2011 @ 2:19 am | delete
    Bit of a silly list, frankly Jambi is my favourite song right now. That will probably change in a few days though.
    So many Tool songs I find myself disliking on first impression, then rediscovering them months later and deciding I actually like them.
    I know its not really a song but you didn't acknowledge Faap de Oaid.
  • Mr. Mar 23, 2011 @ 2:58 pm | delete
    Anyone looking to form an opinion about Tool's music, should listen to Tool's music and do the best they can to personalize and understand the messages it contains. In my opinion Tool's songs poke fun, express sadness and discourage nearly everything contained and expressed in this one biased individual's thoughts, how he identifies himself as a Tool fan is beyond me. I was tempted to just ignore this and move on but felt obligated to warn others. I did not reply to accept your invitation to "argue with you". Maybe you sould find a message board for thirteen year olds? That's where 13 year behavior would be acceptable...I could care less about such stupidity. But I do care about Tool's music, and felt it was worth warning someone who may stumble upon this. Some of Tool's music can serve as a warning, most expresses anger, frustration and sadness. All things that are aggravated by the existence of idiots like the guy who wrote this dribble. I mean c'mon this guy invites internet arguments? Bases his likes of a song based on its inclusion in a video game? If he's too cool for guitar hero, how would he know what songs are in the game? Don't listen to him, don't listen to me, form your own opinions. If you want to share, share. If you want to start arguments, keep your mouth shut. If you profess a love for something, try loving something that isn't directly making fun of your sad existence, it makes you look dumb.
  • CompletelBiased Mar 28, 2011 @ 6:38 pm | delete
    you are pretty much arguing with me.
  • CompletelBiased Mar 28, 2011 @ 6:39 pm | delete
    dunno how loving tool is "making fun of my sad existence" but whatever.
  • B Feb 7, 2011 @ 9:54 am | delete
    Nice breakdown of the songs overall, however I have a couple massive issues with some of your placings in my own opinion.

    The biggest issue for me is Rosetta Stoned. To be fair I did not like this song at all when I first heard it, and didn't like it for years until recently when I properly gave it a go, and now I believe it should be Tier 1. The reason for this newfound appreciation would have to be because a few weeks ago I had the biggest mushroom trip of my life, and ever since when I listen to the lyrics of that song, along with some of the epic buildups, I feel a connection with that song that is so strong I can hardly describe it. But I guess you have to reeeaaally trip balls before you can get a true appreciation for the random clusterfuck that is that song - now to me it makes perfect sense.

    The second issue for me is The Pot and Ticks and Leeches, I think they should be at least Tier 2 or 3. Ticks and Leeches may seem like a novelty after a while, but at the end of the day its an amazing song which lead to Digital Dream Door ranking the drumming performance by Danny Carey number one on the 100 Greatest Rock Drum Performances. And The Pot is just an awesome awesome song, who cares what non-seasoned listeners think, its their loss.

    Anyway thats just my opinion! :)
  • CompletelBiased Feb 7, 2011 @ 11:27 pm | delete
    dont even see how any hallucinogen could make that song less of a cluster f*ck. Ticks and leeches is sweet musically but i cannot stand the vocals and if the pot was sung in a normal maynard voice it would be tier 2 easy. And mannn i cannot believe this ranjan guy likes triad! i understand reflection or disposition but triad!
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