The Ghostwriter's Life

I am booked for a meeting with a client today, someone I have worked with for about five years yet we have never set eyes on each other. That's not at all unusual, for the past seventeen years that I've been secretly writing for other people, I've met very few of them.

We're both going to be disillusioned by the images in our individual mind's eye. I have been informed by my client that he has a thought of me that harks back to some 1930's smoke-filled newspaper editorial office, somewhere behind a great big clunky typewriter and piles of screwed-up rejected foolscap paper is a man with a cigarette drooping from the corner of his mouth and one finger plink plonking on the keys before yanking out yet another sheet and screwing it up into a ball of writer's block. A tumbler of whisky gripped in the other hand to lubricate the creative senses.

Nice imagination, but I'm not an 80 year old smoker with a vintage typewriter. The fact that my unseen client sends me a nice bottle of malt each Christmas is very nice but I don't drink and type!

Another funny thing I was told is that he had to explain to his new young secretary that 'The Ghostwriter' isn't a spiritual medium who, in a strange eerie trance, pens messages from deceased relatives. Apparently the thought of a visit from somebody that writes on behalf of ghosts was spooking her. Anyway, she now knows that a ghostwriter is a person who writes for and on behalf of a living person.

The first job of the day is to tweak a website, it's a nice looking one but it isn't getting found in the search engines such as Google.

I've been involved in search engine optimisation and website marketing since the birth of the worldwide web so I'm no stranger to SEO and ghostwriting for websites.

The delicate situation with this job is that the client is actually the website designer and the owner isn't aware that he is farming out the copywriting.

This isn't unusual and happens quite a lot in the world of website promotions. I've done the keyword research and done some sneaky work to see what his competitors are up to, so I'll have that job signed off my mid-morning.

My next is a rather unusual job in the form of a product review that has been translated from Indian to English.

Much of it is a direct and literal translation, so it needs rewriting into UK style English and formulating into a nice easy to read article. It won't take long and then it is lunch time.

I tend to eat on the hoof just lately because I just don't have time to sit down for a proper lunch break.

I'm working on a 'squeeze page' which is quite a challenge. The skill in creating a successful squeezepage is knowing how to divert each and every visitor to a website or other online document through a compelling written sales pitch that actually bribes the reader to trade their email address for a valuable FREE gift.

I have a couple of days to deliver this job so I plan to get it to a point that excites me and I feel it is complete, I'll then let it rest until tomorrow when I can revisit it and be critical if necessary to ensure the final job is perfect.

I've received three emails this morning, each enquiring about my prices for ghostwriting so I'll take the time to focus on the quotes.

I don't tend to offer cut prices in an attempt just to get the job because the vast majority of my clients like my style of writing and are fully aware of my skills.

With that in mind, the cost is important to them but not the most important factor. I'm also acutely aware that if I charge too much, I stop getting the work!

I haven't stopped today and I have an appointment with a client very soon.

I originally intended drive but I've just received a panic job so I've chosen to get a cab in order that I will complete that job whilst I'm en route. It is a rewrite of an existing article written by the client who really wanted to save money by writing his own sales brochure but he admitted that he got it wrong and it needs tidying up somewhat. That's fine, it won't break the bank, and much of the work is already done but rough and ready!

So, I arrived at my clients office, I've enjoyed a welcome coffee and he has presented me with a box; "here's a gift for you" he said, and with total bewilderment I took the box and opened it. "Have a play, enjoy and write a good review" he said with a hearty laugh. I will disclose neither the gift nor the subject for obvious reasons.

It isn't unusual for me to receive sample items as it helps me get a proper feel for the goods and genuinely experience them. I've received detox products, hangover preventions, instant heat camping foods, Sat Nav, mobile phone, books galore ..... and a whole lot more!