A Tribute To My Daughter, Shelby

I was pregnant at 19. My mother (your Nana) had tried to keep me from doing things that would mess up my life. I rebelled in every sense of the word, Shelby. I met your biological father, fell in love, and decided to spend my life with him. Little did I know that at the age of 18, no one really knows what they want, or what the future holds for them. I became pregnant with you when I was 19. Melody bought the pregnancy test, and in the bathroom of your Nana's house, we found out that you were on your way!

I went downstairs where your Nana was mopping the floor in the kitchen, and showed her the pregnancy test. She said "Well, make a doctor's appointment." She was shocked, and so was I. The biggest fan of my pregnancy was your Aunt. She was about 13 years old at the time, and a little baby was just the icing on her cake. Nana went insane, and started talking to my tummy. I would lie down on the couch and she would come over and feel you kick, saying things like "Your Nana loves you! Your Nana is waiting on you!" We all thought she had lost her mind! But it was sweet and you were the most loved, unborn baby in existence.

I was so excited about you that I would pay the extra money every time I went to the doctor's office to see you on the ultrasound. I took video tapes, and even saw you suck your thumb while you were inside of me! I had dreams of you...constantly. The most common one was that I could unzip my tummy and pull you out to hold and love on. You were my miracle.

The day I brought you home from the hospital, your aunt Laura had nested. She had cleaned the house about 4 times, and when we came through the door, it smelled like a pine-sol bottle had exploded all over the place. The house was spotless, and we could have eaten off the floor (we did not, by the way, eat off the floor.) Mame' was with us, and the dog, Baby, was also pacing the house waiting on your arrival.

I do not think a baby could have been cared for better than you. Everyone jumped at the chance to feed you, rock you to sleep and even change your diaper! You were the happiest baby, always smiling and laughing at something. With jet black hair and deep blue eyes, you caught the attention of people where ever we went. Your great-grandmother Mame' thought that you were the best thing since sliced bread, and spoiled you rotten. YOU were her favorite hobby.

You were loved by some people who are not with us anymore, and let me remind you of their devotion and affection for you! Mame' was possibly your biggest fan, and doted on your every need and want. When I could not afford things for you, she helped me every time she could. She called to check on you at least twice a day. She cried on the phone when it had been a few days since we had seen her. She read baby magazines, and would call daily to let me know of a new trick or new product that might help us.

You were very young when we lost Mame', but even during her illness, you were a trooper. You would sit on her bed (even when she could not talk) and tell her that you loved her. You tried to help us take care of her, and Shelby-she knew you were there. She knew how much you loved her, and when she died...it was heartbreaking for you. I am sure she is sitting in Heaven now talking to the Angels about how pretty her great-granddaughter is, and how much she loves you!

Nanny was my great-grandmother, and another close relative that adored you. Nanny died when you were 4 of a stroke. You still remember her because of the Scooby-Doo Popsicle that she fed you a few weeks before she died. Nanny always wanted to have you over, and begged us to spend nights with her, which we did. You were so very loved by these two women!

I could chronicle your life here, and as much as I would love to do that, I feel like I will work on that project for you over the next year. For now, I just want to share a few words with you, and some of my favorite things about you.

I have covered how much you are loved, and how special that you are. There will be times in your life when you wonder why the world is unfair, and why you are being put through the trials that you are sure to face during your life. One day, the people that love you so much now will be gone, and you will only have their memories to keep you going. It is a mother's wish that their child never suffer, but unfortunately that is not realistic, and you will suffer during your lifetime. Sometimes it helps to be reminded during these times of the special qualities that people find in you.

***I FIND YOU UNIQUE*** In everything that you do, you try to be original, putting the "Shelby Spin" on things that would just be ordinary teenage things without your imagination.

***I LOVE YOUR SENSITIVITY***You relate to people in a very personal way. You feel sad for people who are going through bad times, even if you do not know them. You cry over animals and babies. You get sentimental over music. You tell people that you love them, and that is a quality that not everyone has!

***YOU ARE A GREAT FRIEND***Not only to the friends that you have developed over time, but to me! I tell you my secrets, I share my life with you, and you are only 12! You listen, and try and give good, loving feedback to those around you needing support. What a great quality!

I will always be adding special things that I love about you here! Check back often to find out how much everyone loves you!