More Than You Ever Need To Know About Toilet Paper

Although I wasn't actually there, I've got to believe that the first commonly used toilet paper was provided by God: likely such thins as leaves, bark, grass, and fur. Also the first bidet of sorts: a gently flowing stream. But somewhere along the line, mankind, as usual, decided to improve upon what God had already provided, and that is where our history here really begins.
In ancient Rome, the public toilets were supplied with a sponge attached to the end of a stick. This sponge was soaked in a bucket of brine. The wealthier Romans of the time used wool and rosewater. The wealthy French used lace, wool and hemp. In the Middle Ages they used hay balls and a scraper stick kept in a container. In India, Africa and the Arab lands the left hand with water was a common cleaning implement. The hand would be cleaned shortly after. This method is still in use in some developing countries. If you were to read Gargantua (forally titled The Very Horrific Life of Great Gargantua, Father of Pantagruel), by Francois Rabelais (1483?-1553), you would find in chapter 13 a lengthy, and very graphic, description of one person's attempt to use a wide variety of items to cleanse themselves.
Americans have always been resourceful, and the area of personal hygiene is no different. Early in this country's history it was common to find corncobs hanging from a string in the outhouse. Yup, corncobs. Have you ever rubbed a corncob against your skin? Not exactly Charmin. Of course, the cob was on a string so that it would be easier for the next person to find and use. Truly blessed was the family with an abundance of corncobs that could be disposed of after a single use!
For those who were a bit more "civilized", or perhaps had a bit more cash, there was paper. Not toilet paper as we know it, but newspapers, old books, or catalogues. Most people have heard of rural Americans using the Farmer's Almanac or Sears/Roebuck catalogue one page at a time. Those farmers were not pleased when Sears modernized the catalogue with shiny - and nonabsorbent - color pages!
"Official" toilet paper - that is, paper which was produced specifically for the purpose - dates back at least to the late 14th Century, when Chinese emperors ordered it in 2-foot x 3-foot sheets.
In 1857 the first "modern" Toilet Tissue was developed by Joseph Gayetty of New York. This "Therapeutic Paper" was sold in packages of 500 sheets for $.50. "Gayetty's Medicated Paper" contained aloe and was marketed as a means to cure sores and prevent piles (hemorrhoids). His name was printed on each sheet.
In 1879, Edward and Clarence Scott founded the Scott Paper Company. Scott toilet paper was sold in rolls that were, apparently, unperforated in the early years. In addition, the company did not market their products under the Scott brand initially-not wanting to associate with such an unmentionable product.
By 1883, at least one patent had been issued for a toilet paper roll holder that had a serrated cutting blade.
Soon the development of toilet paper began in earnest:
1930's: Splinter-free paper (Northern)
1942: 2-ply tissues (St. Andrews Paper Mill in England)
1954: Colored TP (Northern)
1973: Charmin patents a process to make toilet paper softer by air drying instead of squeezing the paper.
The 1990's saw the newest "innovation" in toilet paper: paper treated with aloe (see "Gayetty's Medicated Paper" above.

DISCLAIMER: This article (from WikiHow.com) is for informational purposes only. It is not recommended that anyone actually try this on someone's house.

Step 1:
Get lots of toilet paper. Buy your stash before dusk, as you will look pretty suspicious buying toilet paper at 10:00 at night. The best kind of toilet paper to get is double rolls. It lasts much longer, so you can usually get 4 or 5 throws over a moderately sized tree, while a single cheap roll of toilet paper will only get 2 or 3 throws over a tree.
Step 2:
Pick a time. The time should be one where people are not still up and walking their dogs. Be sure to get information on how late the neighborhood usually stays up. This can be very useful, and sometimes not knowing how late to go can be very embarrassing when you show up somewhere with a bunch of bags. Don't go too late, though! If you wait too long, you will get sleepy, and possibly fall asleep, which will ruin the night!
Step 3:
Consider what time of year it is. If it is during summer, weekdays are a must, as most adults will go to bed pretty early. During the rest of the year, it is good to pick a night when you have the following day off (such as the day before Spring Break, or days during Presidents' Weekend are very good days to hit). Remember that during Summer you will have to stay up extra late, because many people wait until it is very late to go to bed. A lot of choosing where and when depends on where you live, so make smart decisions!
Step 4:Don't freak out if you make noise when you arrive at the house. If someone sneezes, or you trip over a stick, don't worry. No one is going to get up in the middle of the night for a minor noise. They will, however, wake up and look out the window if the noise persists. So stop the noise ASAP, but don't run away.

If anyone can remember, the early 70's everything was in short supply especially oil. When Americans heard the word shortage, they would jump out and purchase these items since they knew what it was like standing in line to get gasoline for their cars.

Well, whether you believe it or not, there was a toilet paper shortage in the United States in 1973. The entire episode started with a Johnny Carson Tonight Show monologue. On December 19, 1973, the writers for the show had heard earlier the federal government was falling behind in getting bids to supply toilet paper and that it might be possible that in a few months the United States could face a shortage of toilet tissue. They took the words of this Wisconsin congressional representative, Harold Froehlich and decided to add a joke for Carson for the evening show.

Carson did in fact use the joke in a monologue stating, "You know what's disappearing from the supermarket shelves? Toilet paper. There's an acute shortage of toilet paper in the United States."

Much to the amazement of not only the show but of toilet paper factories across America, 20 million people that watched the Carson show that evening ran out in the morning and bought as much toilet paper as they could carry. By noon on December 20, 1973, practically every store in America was out of stock. Many of the stores tried to ration this valuable paper but they could not keep up with the demand no matter what they did.

A few nights later, Johnny Carson explained there was no shortage and he apologized to his viewers. However, this did not help with the scare. As soon as people noticed the empty shelves, they wanted this paper even more.

It took a total of three long and grueling weeks to get the shelves stocked again and finally the shortage was over.

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Step 5:
Pull a long arm's width of toilet paper from the roll when you go for trees. Hold the roll like you would hold a bike handle, but vertical. Throw the roll into the tree. it should trail up and over beautifully, and plunk on the ground on the other side. Walk to the other side, and repeat as necessary. For bushes, trail the toilet paper all over them, and push wads of toilet paper deep into bushes, to make it toilet papered inside, and out.
Step 6:
Make lettering on the backs of cars with toilet paper (this is optional, and quite easy). Figure out what you are going to spell. It should be 5 letters or less. You could write, "we win" or something rude if you don't like the person. Don't write something mean or cruel, because if you get caught, it might look more like vandalism than a prank. Anyways, pull off enough toilet paper, spit on the back every few inches, and place on the car. It won't leave marks, but it will take a while for you to get it right. You can also write on windows with car window paint. Make sure it is the kind made for car windows so it doesn't stain. A common saying to write is "Got'cha!"
Step 7
Rip small pieces of toilet paper off the roll and scatter them all over the lawn. Lots and lots of small pieces are very good.
Step 8
Make sure to throw the rolls over high branches in the trees. If you only get the lower branches, it can easily be taken down, you want your hard work to stay for a couple days.
Note: if you hit houses often, or just want to do an amazing finishing touch, do something creative like tying bows around the lights or doing smiley faces on the driveway. Use your imagination!

For more tips and warnings on TP'ing a house, see WikiHow: How To Toilet Paper A House

The average person uses the bathroom 9 times per day and uses more than 8 sheets of toilet paper per trip. That's almost 60 sheets each day. Can you spare a square?

The average person uses 20,805 sheets of toilet paper every year. That means if you're the average person, you personally used about 105 standard rolls of toilet paper in the last 12 months.

Would you believe late 19th century toilet paper dispensers used a built-in knife to cut the desired amount needed. It's true. Makes you wonder if it was soft. Ouch!

For more TP Trivia, see John'sJohn.com

This interesting reality listing was found on Makezine.com. According to the comments posted there, this unique contraption is a "toilet paper recycling machine" that re-rolls the paper onto a new roll after using. Apparently intended as a joke, not for actual use. Whew.