Abuse, Advocacy, and Recovery Lensography

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I know a woman who works with children who have suffered abuse. Her specialty is art therapy. I didn't really understand how drawing a picture or sculpting clay could help a child heal.

She explained that identities are very important to children; they take them very seriously without even realizing it. These children walked into her office wearing the label of "victim" but, she said, an amazing thing happened after a few visits with her.

Through their artwork she first helped them express feelings they had no other way to express, then slowly the self-image in their heads began to change. They began walking out of her office with a new label, the label of "artist."

I thought of a child walking out of her office clutching their latest artwork to their chest and finally understood what she was doing. She can't take the pain away. She can't make the horrible incidents disappear from their memory. What she can do is flood the negative with something else, something positive.

Identities are just as important to adults. Small changes in our lives can reap huge rewards, because they change the way we look at ourselves. We don't always realize how important those labels are, where they came from, or even that they exist in the first place.

We tell ourselves so many negative things, that we are fat, ugly, stupid, talentless. Whatever it is, those labels do not help us in any way. They hold us down, hold us back, and keep us from becoming the person we were meant to be.

Next time you find yourself issuing a negative self-evaluation, stop and remember that child making their baby steps towards recovery. Flood yourself with positive.

Label your emotions, but not yourself.

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There are many different ways to change your life, but only one person can really take the steps that must be taken. Nobody can do it for you; you have to find that strength inside of yourself to take the first step.

There are many people out there who are willing to help you make the changes you would like to make, often the first and hardest step is just asking for that help. There is no shame in asking, it is not a sign of weakness.

It takes more courage than most people realize to simply admit that you can't do it alone.

Surviving abuse of any kind has the same basic steps: it is a change in self-image, a change in perspective, a change in the way we see the world, and a change in the way we see ourselves.

It doesn't happen all at once, most of the time you don't even notice the changes as they are happening. You change one perception, then another, then another... your self-image begins to change, the world around you begins to change, and slowly you realize you have become a new person.

You notice things you never noticed before, you see yourself in a different light. You see a new, brighter person in there. Someone with potential and possibility. Someone who really does deserve to live a happy life.

We all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to be whole.

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You don't need any of the latest self-help or success trends to change your life, not really. In most cases they are saying the exact same thing in very different ways.

Remove all of the mysticism, aliens, manifestations, and pop-culture jargon, and they are all simply teaching you that the easiest way to change your world is to change the way you see it.

"The intellect can only absorb what the emotions will allow..."
Haim G. Ginott

Your mind really does control your reality. If you are a negative person, you will seek out and find negative. If you are looking for something to take offense to or complain about, you will always find it. If you are expecting bad things to happen in your life, bad things will happen.

Negative people create negative energy, there is nothing magical about this statement. Like will always breed like. Some people just seem to suck the energy out of everyone they come into contact with.

In order to become a positive person you have to think positive. You have to find positive in everything and everyone you come into contact with. You have to expect positive things, speak positive things, and believe positive things.

The more negativity you allow into your life, the more negative you will become. It isn't easy to think positive when you have a lot of negative people and events in your past, but keep your focus on the positive and you will slowly find your way to the land of the positive thinkers.

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It is hard to do a professional job without the right tools. It doesn't matter what your profession is, tools are often an essential part of doing a job right.

That is one of the biggest problems with being human: most of us don't have the proper tools to deal with difficult situations that arise in life. There are a set of tools for relationships, a set of tools for proper self-care, and a set of tools for dealing with others.

Most of us just keep struggling to cope using only the tools we have been given; we aren't even aware of the tools that are available.

Education is one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal.

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Life is not concrete. Just because something seems a certain way right now does not mean it will remain that way forever. Life is very much a roller coaster, there will be ups and there will be downs.

But just as we can be assured that the seasons will change in due time, so too can we be assured that being on the downswing only means we are heading back up again.

Good luck in all you do, and never, ever give up! A better life is just around the corner!