Adopting An Adult

On our wedding day the officiator pronounced us "Now a family" instead of man and wife. We had the boys involved the entire day, it was their day too. People threw confetti at us, then we stood waiting to throw some at our boys. It was a sweet event and I wouldn't change a thing!

Whenever a parent signature was needed for school, sports or doctors, I was never questioned as I signed those forms. I had the same last name so I don't think anyone had reason to question my paternal connection. My boys even started calling me Mom early on, it was their choice.

If anyone found out that one of us was a step-parent they always assumed it was my hubby. I found that hysterical! I also didn't care. I didn't become a wife and mother to solicit recognition or approval from others. I was simply blessed to be a part of this family.

What most people don't really know about me is a grew up a step-child. My Dad raised me and my siblings single handed (my grandma helped!) after my mother and him were divorced. He fought for custody and won.

I don't really know much about either one of my biological families. My Dad always attempted to keep us in contact and they were always welcome, but it just never seemed they were interested enough to keep in touch.

I made a point of making sure the boys knew their family. Even though at times it was a little difficult for me. No wife wants to deal with the ex-wife if they don't have too or her family. The grandmother sent cards religiously and their aunt had played such a huge role in their early lives, I just couldn't (wouldn't) deny visits.

During the summers Mike would come visit us. The boys would swim on the local swim team. Almost every summer at least one of them would make Nationals so we always took a trip to the hosting city. At the end of the summer we would take Mike home and visit with Marsha and Maw-maw. The boys loved hearing stories about that side of their family.

They all grew up way too fast, as kids tend to do. Just when I thought I had a handle on this mom thing, my middle son decided I was capable of more. At the age of 36 I became a grandmother. I wasn't prepared. To be honest I was somewhat embarrassed when people would tell me I looked too young to be a grandmother.

He didn't tell us right away. He had gone into the Navy and was at war when his girlfriend, at the time, decided to tell us about our grandchild. We took our granddaughter and her mom to Virginia to welcome our son home. During that trip our first grandchild ultimately decided our grandparent names. She called us Nana and Poppy.

Cheyana's mom and our son couldn't see eye to eye. So where does that leave two grandparents desperately wanting to be a part of this child's life? Well each state has laws that affect your rights. Researching my rights is how I decided I need to adopt!

While my boys were growing up, I had often thought about adoption. I knew it would sever the mother's rights to her sons, but she wasn't active in their lives anyway. I always feared that if something happened to my husband I would lose my boys.

Now that they are all of legal age it seems silly to 'adopt' some would say. After researching my rights as a grandparent (let alone step-grandparent) I realized it is just as important now. As I get older I would like to think my sons will take care of me if, God forbid, something should happen to their father, without adoption they have no legal rights.

I have talked to my sons about this and each agreed. I also informed them if we proceed with this it would alter their birth certificates. Since their biological mother passed away a few years ago there is no one to contest this adoption. Each one of my sons told me they were honored. What great men they turned out to be!

It really meant the world to me when this lens was blessed by a SquidAngel! Squidoo is really a community of supportive individuals! Special thanks to vanidiana, wordstock and NancyOram!!

SquidAngel graphic created by Greekgeek.