Free Advice on Grieving

Everyone grieves during some point in their life, whether it is the loss of a family member, a friend, or even a pet. Grieving is simply a healing process which allows our mind to fully recover from a tragic event.

So don't fret! Your denial, anger, and even depression are normal for someone under the same circumstance. I know, this doesn't make you feel much better about what you are going through. However, this does mean you aren't the first to have these feelings. It is natural, so take a deep breath and keep on reading.

To better help you understand the process which you are going through, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed what is known as "The 5 Stages of Grief."

1. Denial and Isolation - We deny the situation is happening and isolate ourselves from it.

2. Anger - We become made at the person who caused the grief, even if they are dead. We may even become mad at ourselves, God, or someone who we believe could have stopped it from happening.

3. Bargaining - We start to bargain with God, doctors, or others.

4. Depression - We start to feel the sadness or even numbness of the situation. We may even feel anger underneath.

5. Acceptance - We accept the reality of the situation.

Recovering from grief is something we all must do, it just takes longer for some. Many people will remain in the first four stages of grief for years without being able to accept the reality.

To help recover, it is important to have family and friends near us and begin our daily routine as early as possible. The sooner we continue living our life, the quicker the situation resolves.

Nonetheless, recovery isn't the same for everyone. Some people feel praying is the best answer. Others will feel getting additional exercise and eating healthier works.

Of course, we never know what works until we try. And hopefully, we have those around us who love us and help us get through the tough times in our life.

For better or worse, time doesn't stop for anyone. Whenever a life-changing event happens, our world comes to a complete stop. The problem is, time continues for everyone around you. While you are weeping, they live their life. As you are trying to cope, they are trying to have fun. If your friends and family are helping you through the rough patch-which, hopefully they are-you are well ahead of where many others would be in the same situation. You are blessed with caring and loving people around you. However, time still goes on not only for you but also your family and friends. It must continue.

Does this mean you shouldn't grieve? No, of course not. It means that there is a time and place for grieving and a time and place for living. Spending the next year locked in your bedroom doesn't help you or your loved ones. Actually, it does quite the opposite. Sheltering off is proven to cause depression. You need sunlight, you need communication with others, and you need to get your life started again because life doesn't wait for you.

Something which has helped me through the losses of family and friends is to think of what they would want. Would they want me to spend the rest of my life alone and sad? No! They would want me out there living your life and trying to make life better for others.

A loss of a friend or family member is one of the toughest things to deal with in life. Everything bad which has happened to me still doesn't compare to the deaths, but I keep living. I have to. There are many others who depend on me. And, believe it or not, no matter who you are or what you do, there are others in life who depend on you. Whether it is to cook them breakfast, deliver their mail, or even take their order at their favorite fast-food restaurant, they depend on you. Many people don't realize just how important they are to others. People care about you, even if you don't know them.

Here's my advice: grieve, but keep others in your life. Don't push them away because you are sad. Actually, get them more involved. Talk to them. And if you don't have friends, call your family. If you don't have family, join a support group. During tough times you need to vent. And yes, it is OK to cry. Everyone does, whether they admit it or not.

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