Ain't Nobody's Business

There ain't nothing I can do
Or nothing I can say
That folks don't criticize me
But I'm going to do
Just as I want to anyway
And don't care just what people say

If I should take a notion
To jump into the ocean
Ain't nobody's business if I do

If I go to church on Sunday
Then cabaret all day Monday
Ain't nobody's business if I do

If my man ain't got no money
And I say "take all mine, honey"
Ain't nobody's business if I do

If I give him my last nickel
And it leaves me in a pickle
Ain't nobody's business if I do

But I'd rather my man would hit me
Than follow him to jump up and quit me
Ain't nobody's business if I do

I swear I won't call no copper
If I'm beat up by my papa
Ain't nobody's business if I do
Nobody's business
Ain't nobody's business
Nobody's business if I do

This next song is a funny little song
About snow in the desert

Chorus
Champagne don't drive me crazy
Cocaine don't make me lazy
Ain't nobody's business but my own
Candy is dandy and liquor is quicker
You can drink all the liquor down in Costa Rica
Ain't nobody's business but my own

You can ride a great big pink Cadillac to church on Sunday
You can hang around the house with your old lady on Monday
Ain't nobody's business but your own
Man, I don't care what in the world that you do
As long as you do what you say you going to
Ain't nobody's business but your own

Now, I know some of you cuties
You real fine cuties, you go stepping downtown
Just to hang around
Standing on the corner
So the fellows will stare and say
"Oh, ain't she sweet?"

Chorus

You can walk downtown in your birthday suit
I can see you coming out of the Bank Of America with a whole lotta loot
Ain't nobody's business but your own
Now, you know that cocaine's for horses now it ain't for men
The doctors said it'll kill me but they didn't say when
Ain't nobody's business but your own

Now, you know sometime I put on my straw hat
And my striped pants, my spats baby
You know I go trucking downtown
Standing on the corner so the fellas can stare and say
Hey man, ain't you the brother in the '57 mercury
With the turnpike skirts and the chrome reverse wheels
The white wall tires and lights running the skirts
Was painted lime green with reversible license plates
With windows that you can see out, can nobody see in
With four on the floor, 745 horsepower and a big stereo
Listening to Wolfman Jack say, "Ain't this X C I B, baby"

Chorus

Come on now let's try it,
here we go, one, two, three

Now, champagne don't drive me crazy
Cocaine don't make me lazy
Ain't nobody's business but my own
Sing it out
Candy is dandy and liquor is quicker
You can drink all the liquor down at Costa Rica
Ain't nobody's business but my own

Once again
Chorus

Note: For this version, imagine that the first two lines of each verse are sung by one performer and the last by the other. The end is sung together.

You got a gal you love on Sunday
Then you get another for Monday.
Ain't nobody's business but my own.

You say you're always home alone.
How come I can't get you on the phone?
Well, that ain't nobody's business but my own.

Chorus
Nobody's business
Nobody's business
Nobody's business but my own
Nobody's business
Nobody's business
Nobody's business but my own

All night long you're playin' poker;
Tell me, what's the name of that joker.
Ain't nobody's business but my own.

I come over, say "Here I am!"
Then I hear the back door slam.
Well, that ain't nobody's business but my own.

Chorus

You tell me you're in bed by seven
But your light's on past eleven.
Well, that ain't nobody's business but my own.

Now, you ain't so smart and you ain't good lookin'
How come you got so much cookin'?
Ain't nobody's business but my own.

Chorus

And you wear the prettiest ties and collars
Whereabouts do you get those dollars?
Ain't nobody's business but my own.

You always talk about settlin' down
When I bring a ring, you're not around.
Well, I'll be there the next time that you call.

Well let's not fuss and let's not fight.
I'm sick and tired of sayin' "Goodnight."
Well, let's make up and hold each other tight.

We both know we're birds of a feather.
Let's go into business together;
We can start a business of our own.

Chorus